--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 143 DISABLED Ref: F3300008 Date: 02/26/98 From: BILL JACKSON Time: 01:00am \/To: ALL (Read 1 times) Subj: How to Give a Cat a Pill (HUMOR) :-) Time for another refill of "Laughter Is The Best Medicine" -- HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL 1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving a baby a bottle. Coo confidently, "That's a nice kitty." Drop the pill in its mouth. 2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp & pill from under sofa. 3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold cat's front paws down with left hand & back paws down with elbow of right arm. Poke pill into its mouth with right forefinger. 4. Retrieve cat from under bed. Get new pill from bottle. (resist impulse to get new cat.) 5. Again proceed as in 1, except when you have cat firmly cradled in bottle-feeding position, sit on edge of chair, fold your torso over cat, bring your right hand over your left elbow, open cat's mouth by lifting the upper jaw & pop pill in - quickly! Since your head is down by your knees, you won't be able to see what you are doing. That's just as well. 6. Leave cat hanging on drapes. Leave pill in your hair. 7 If you are a woman, have a good cry. If you are a man, have a good cry. 8. Now pull yourself together. Who's the boss here anyway? Retrieve cat & pill. Assuming position 1, say sternly, "Who's the the boss here anyway?" Open cat's mouth, take pill & ....Oooops! 9. This isn't working, is it? Collapse & think. Aha! Those flashing claws are causing the chaos. 10. Crawl to the linen closet. Drag back a large beach towl. Spread towel on floor. 11. Retrieve cat from kitchen counter & pill from potted plant. 12. Spread cat on towel near one end with its head over long edge. 13. Flatten cat's front & back legs over its stomach. (resist impulse to flatten cat.) 14. Roll cat in towel. Work fast; time & tabbies wait for no man - or woman! 15. Resume position 1. Rotate your left hand to cat's head. Press its mouth at the jaw hinges like opening the petals of a snapdragon. 16. Drop pill into cat's mouth & poke gently. Voila! It's done! 17. Vacuum up loose fur (cat's). Apply bandages to wounds (yours). 18. Take two asprins & lie down. --Bill Fidonet Netmail: 1:280/76 E-Mail: cfsdays@oz.sunflower.org CFS DAYS Home Page: http://www.sunflower.org/~cfsdays/cfsdays.htm -+- OLMS 2.53 UNREG --- * Origin: The Wolf's Den in Kansas City (816) 361-7670 (1:280/76) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 143 DISABLED Ref: F3300009 Date: 02/26/98 From: BILL JACKSON Time: 01:00am \/To: ALL (Read 1 times) Subj: Patients Prayer (humor) Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of Doctors I shot when they said, "You're perfectly healthy, it's All In Your Head" --Bill Fidonet Netmail: 1:280/76 E-Mail: cfsdays@oz.sunflower.org CFS DAYS Home Page: http://www.sunflower.org/~cfsdays/cfsdays.htm -+- OLMS 2.53 UNREG --- * Origin: The Wolf's Den in Kansas City (816) 361-7670 (1:280/76) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 143 DISABLED Ref: F3300010 Date: 02/26/98 From: BILL JACKSON Time: 01:00am \/To: ALL (Read 1 times) Subj: The Specialist... (HUMOR) :-) Time for another refill of "Laughter Is The Best Medicine" -- The Specialist A man goes to consult a famous specialist about his medical problem. "How much do I owe you?" "My fee is fifty ruples," replies the physician. "Fifty ruples? That's impossible." "In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to thirty ruples." "Thirty ruples for one visit? Ridiculous." "Well, then, could you afford twenty ruples?" "Who has so much money?" "Look," replies the doctor, growing irritated, "Just give me five ruples and be gone." "I can give you two ruples," says the man. "Take it or leave it." "I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in Warsaw?" "Listen, Doctor," says the patient. "When it comes to my health, nothing is too expensive." --Bill Fidonet Netmail: 1:280/76 E-Mail: cfsdays@oz.sunflower.org CFS DAYS Home Page: http://www.sunflower.org/~cfsdays/cfsdays.htm -+- OLMS 2.53 UNREG --- * Origin: The Wolf's Den in Kansas City (816) 361-7670 (1:280/76) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 143 DISABLED Ref: F3300011 Date: 02/26/98 From: BILL JACKSON Time: 01:00am \/To: BILL KOPPELMANN (Read 1 times) Subj: from Denver -=> Bill Koppelmann said to Leo Noll on 02-19-98 23:31: LN> We got a doorstop in the shape of a kitty. Lady Jane Grey saw LN> it on the floor, and her tail immediately got as big as a LN> bottle brush. She pretty much ignores it now. BK> BK> Oh, that must have looked really cute. BK> I recently got a wave file of a doggie barking, and Maxi cocked her BK> head the first time she heard it, but she now just ignores it. Heh, heh! I have one of those barking dog sounds, too, and you should see Charlie perk up and look down the hall toward the door wondering, "What the heck....?" Hehe! --Bill Fidonet Netmail: 1:280/76 E-Mail: cfsdays@oz.sunflower.org CFS DAYS Home Page: http://www.sunflower.org/~cfsdays/cfsdays.htm ... To a cat, a sandcastle is just an outhouse with turrets. -+- OLMS 2.53 UNREG --- * Origin: The Wolf's Den in Kansas City (816) 361-7670 (1:280/76) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 143 DISABLED Ref: F3300012 Date: 02/26/98 From: BILL JACKSON Time: 01:00am \/To: JIM KIMBALL (Read 1 times) Subj: Wife's update -=> Jim Kimball said to All on 02-22-98 14:55: JK> Hello To All, JK> It is with a lot of joy and a tad bit of caution that I send this JK> to you all. As far an anyone at the clinic can tell, bloodwork etc, we JK> have a good report. WE HAVE FAUGHT, BEATEN AND WON. NO TRACE OF JK> CANCER!!!! We are still being cautious as we don't want to jump too JK> high in fear of falling. But as or right now things look real good and JK> we have sent that cancer right to Hell! JK> Maybe we are jumping the gun a bit but we actually have a medical JK> reason to finally be somewhat pleased so I had to share it with you Hey! Great news, Jim!! Bet that's brightens both of you! Let's hope, indeed, that she stays free and clear of cancer! Now, to get YOU fixed up again. :) --Bill Fidonet Netmail: 1:280/76 E-Mail: cfsdays@oz.sunflower.org CFS DAYS Home Page: http://www.sunflower.org/~cfsdays/cfsdays.htm -+- OLMS 2.53 UNREG --- * Origin: The Wolf's Den in Kansas City (816) 361-7670 (1:280/76) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 143 DISABLED Ref: F3300013 Date: 02/24/98 From: WALLY BROWN Time: 03:47pm \/To: COLEEN BOWDEN (Read 1 times) Subj: Correct address? Hi Coleen ( and Norm) I have changed your internet address and entered it as instructed and both messages to you bounced. Will you either post your correct address here or write to me on the internet and include your correct address in the text of the message? Also, are caps inportant in your address? thanks, Wally --- Blue Wave/DOS v2.30 * Origin: TechTalk; Calgary, Alberta. V.34+ (403)209-2104 (1:134/40) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 143 DISABLED Ref: F3300014 Date: 02/25/98 From: WALLY BROWN Time: 01:32pm \/To: SANDY FOULTZ (Read 1 times) Subj: Not touchy at all! -=> Quoting Sandy Foultz to Wally Brown <=- Hi Sandy, SF> Nope!!! I wasn't puzzled - just felt a little silly for my choice of SF> words. I have been lurking and reading messages for quite a while and SF> feel like I know some of you. I did try to respond a couple of times SF> but never got a response. We have been having trouble getting messages SF> out since the change in software to our BBS - but it looks like the SF> problems is at long last corrected. Well, my new friend, there is no need to feel silly, you see I have been doing things like this to these fine folks for many years and you just happened to be handy for a new stunt! SF> I live in central New York - not to awfully far from the Canadian SF> border!! Well, we are only as far apart as our computers, so let's get acquainted. I have been posting on this echo for over 9 years and have met many nice folks but some of them have now passed into the eternity fo the internet. I have followed some of them there but I do enjoy a public-type echo , such as this one. they are becoming extint I am afraid. I am almost totally blind and use a speech system for reading my screen. I have been trying to learn windows and still struggling with that concept. I am on the internet though and do do a lot of messaging there. I have been blind for nearly 27 years ( March 4 is my anniversary) and live alone in an apartment suite. I have one son, Dan, who is on the Calgary fire dept and my daughter died just over 15 years ago. I sing in a church choir and have some ministries with this church that involve visitation by phone to a number of people who cannot get out much. I play the Pan-flute for a musical hobby but because of recent eye surgery, have not been able to practice for some time but must get back to it soon. SF> Thank you for responding.... Glad to meet a new friend so reply, if it occurs to you. Blessings, Wally. ... Strangers are friends who have never met. --- Blue Wave/DOS v2.30 * Origin: TechTalk; Calgary, Alberta. V.34+ (403)209-2104 (1:134/40) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 143 DISABLED Ref: F3300015 Date: 02/25/98 From: WALLY BROWN Time: 05:02pm \/To: LEO NOLL (Read 1 times) Subj: Feeling better yet? -=> Quoting Leo Noll to Wally Brown <=- Hi Leo, This is the second message from you today, but the first one was in another echo. LN> Hi, wayward Wally!! Yup, that be me okay! LN> Wally, I am the same. Lately, it has taken me up to a week to LN> actually make the reply. I usually reply the same day I get a message. LN> The only time I do not reply to a message LN> is if there are several from a single person in a packet, I will LN> sometimes answer all of them in a single reply. Ditto here! LN> I don't know, except to think that we have not actually overcome LN> the germ, but just have it in check for a while. Are you getting any regular exercise? This can help with a lot of problems like this. WB> So, did you find any good books? LN> I got an illustrated book of the Amish. Is that an interesting one? Is there anything you can share here? LN> He changed my cholesterol medicine, and I will go back in three LN> months for a blood test and a consultation. Have you ever tried natural vitamine-E or lecithin? These have both helped me with that problem and I am now, taking an anti-occident that has really helped my circulation a lot. My hands can now stand a lot more cold. Just a thought. Blessings, Wally. ... According to my Doctor, patients ARE a virtue. --- Blue Wave/DOS v2.30 * Origin: TechTalk; Calgary, Alberta. V.34+ (403)209-2104 (1:134/40) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 143 DISABLED Ref: F3300016 Date: 02/28/98 From: WALLY BROWN Time: 04:41pm \/To: SUZANNE AKINS (Read 1 times) Subj: You? Dessert??? -=> Quoting Suzanne Akins to Wally Brown <=- Hi Sweet Suzanne! SA> You are most welcome to ask hubby. There is no guarantee he SA> will remember the menu of the *main course*. He would recall the SA> dessert! Grins! Smiling from ear to ear, And I can guess just what that dessert was! YOU!! Blessings, Wally. ... Give yourself credit for the agony you have suffered throughout life. --- Blue Wave/DOS v2.30 * Origin: TechTalk; Calgary, Alberta. V.34+ (403)209-2104 (1:134/40) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 143 DISABLED Ref: F3300017 Date: 03/01/98 From: WENDY BUCHANAN Time: 09:13pm \/To: JIM KIMBALL (Read 1 times) Subj: Still praying... Hi Jim! -=> Quoting Jim Kimball to Wendy Buchanan <=- JK> Thank you for the message. You are most welcome! And please give my love to Lin. She sounds like a lovely person, and so do you. Do not be upset about being angry that this has happened. You have a natural right to grieve for your lifestyle and your wife's health, which have been stolen from you. If you deny yourself that right you wind up with more problems than you will know what to do with! and mental problems at that, which are almost always more difficult to deal with than physical ones, although physical ones follow the mental and emotional ones. JK> She has been pretty ill since last weekk treatment. The worse so JK> far in a long period. It's not been easy lately. I've been in a very It never is. I have just been recovering from what has been the worst gout attack I've ever had. the pain was more severe than it has ever been and the attack lasted about 5 times as long as they ever have before. Finally I broke down and got the Rx filled, which I didn't want to do, as it makes me sick to my stomach and also gives me a case of the watery "galloping gosharooties!" That's almost as bad as the gout! Well it did its usual trick after I took the last of the 6 pills in 24 hours, and made me sick plus, and I told my hubby, Tom, "You know, sometimes the "cure" for things will kill you!" And that is what chemo does, kills the cells which aren't supposed to be there, and in the process it makes one miserable. The doggoned foot still hurts too! But not nearly as badly as it did before, so I guess (sigh) I'm glad I took the gout medicine. JK> radiation. I shall keep you posted. And many thanks for the comtinued JK> prayers. Jim You're so welcome, and you two hang in there till you hear how things are. And don't forget, there is no illness He cannot heal. I'm living proof of that! LadyBear Hugs, Wendy ... Today's been one heck of a week! ___ Blue Wave/DOS v2.30 --- PCBoard (R) v15.3/M 2 * Origin: Peyote Bud's - Dewey, OK - V.34 - 1.918.534.2124 (1:3815/123)