--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 277 CATS Ref: F5G00087 Date: 04/19/98 From: MISS KITTY Time: 07:47pm \/To: ALL (Read 1 times) Subj: Cat Rules 3/3 BASIC RULES FOR CATS WHO HAVE A HOUSE TO RUN Part Three FOOD: In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed *NOW*; and hunting for it oneself. The following are guidelines for getting fed. A) When the humans are eating, make sure you leave the tip of your tail in their dishes when they are not looking. B) Never eat food from your own bowl if you can steal some from the table. C) Never drink from your own water bowl if a human's glass is full enough to drink from. D) Should you catch something of your own outside, it is only polite to attempt to get to know it. Be insistent--your food will usually not be so polite and try to leave. E) Table scraps are delicacies with which the humans are unfortunately unwilling to readily part. It is beneath the Dignity of a cat to beg outright for food as lower forms of life such as dogs will, but several techniques exist for ensuring that the humans don't forget you exist. These include, but are not limited to: jumping onto the lap of the "softest" human and purring loudly; lying down in the doorway between the dining room and the kitchen, the Direct Stare, and twining around people's legs as they sit and eat while meowing plaintively. SLEEPING: As mentioned above, in order to have enough energy for playing, a cat must get plenty of sleep. It is generally not difficult to find a comfortable place to curl up. Any place a human likes to sit is good, especially if it contrasts with your fur color. If it's in a sunbeam or near a heating duct or radiator, so much the better. Of course, good places also exist outdoors, but have the disadvantages of being seasonal and dependent on current and previous weather conditions such as rain. Open windows are a good compromise. SCRATCHING POSTS: It is advised that cats use any scratching post the humans may provide. They are very protective of what they think is their property and will object strongly if they catch you sharpening your claws on it. Being sneaky and doing it when they aren't around won't help, as they are very observant. If you are an outdoor kitty, trees are good. Sharpening your claws on a human is a definite no-no! HUMANS: Humans have three primary functions: to feed us, to play with and give attention to us, and to clean the litter box. It is important to maintain one's Dignity when around humans so that they will not forget who is the master of the house. Humans need to know basic rules. They can be taught if you start early and are consistent. You will then have a smooth-running household. --- WILDMAIL!/WC v4.12 * Origin: Kitty's Keep BBS * 714-997-9310 * Orange, CA * (1:103/441.0) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 277 CATS Ref: F5G00088 Date: 04/19/98 From: MISS KITTY Time: 08:12pm \/To: ALL (Read 1 times) Subj: Halloween Fun ************************************************************************ Found on the internet.... --------------------------- Here, by popular request (believe it or not) is the recipe for the infamous disgusting cookies that look like cats poops (rolled in grape-nuts, which makes lovely fake kitty litter.) Last warning-many of you may not want to read this! There are two flavors-chocolate (dark brown), and gingerbread (light brown). I seldom measure carefully, so amounts may need adjustment, especially on flavoring. The cookies are dense and not very sweet, this is necesssary so that they will keep their shape during baking. If you use white flour or sugar they may be tastier but they won't look like poopies. Chocolate ingredients: 1/2 cup honey 2/3 cup (1 and 1/3 stick) butter, margarine, or lard 1 egg 1 tsp vanilla or peppermint extract 2 cups whole wheat flour 1/3 cup cocoa powder grape-nuts(tm) cereal Gingerbread ingredients: 1/4 cup honey 1/4 cup molasses 2/3 cup(1 and 1/3 stick) butter or margarine, or lard 1 egg 2 and 1/3 cups whole wheat flour spices-ginger, cinnamon, cloves to taste (maybe 1/2 tsp each) grape-nuts(tm) cereal Mix-ins: Coconut = tapeworms Chocolate chips = poop chunks! Butterscotch chips = diarrhea! Peanut butter chips = diarrhea! Cooked spagetti or ramen noodles = roundworms Corn = self explanatory! Peanuts = chunks M&Ms = decoration? To Make: Microwave the honey till it bubbles (about 1 minute). Add the butter, (I've been told using lard makes for a more realistic texture and softer cookie) and the molasses, if any. Add the egg, mix well, then mix in all the other stuff. Add mix-ins of your choice to some or all of the batter. Chill 1 hour in the freezer or several hours in the fridge. Roll dough logs of random length and the diameter of cat poops. Roll logs in grape-nuts and bake at 350 degrees till done (about 20 minutes but this varies so watch them.) Serve in a disposable cat litter box on a bed of grapenuts, with a cat litter scoop. I hear you get lovely effects by decorating the box and scoop with melted chocolate or pudding. Brown sugar might work as a substitute for the new clumping litters... Mixing brown sugar with the grapenuts "sweetens up the cookie a bit while still looking truly hideous." This recipe works especially well at a halloween party where the table is already decorated with plastic flies. --- WILDMAIL!/WC v4.12 * Origin: Kitty's Keep BBS * 714-997-9310 * Orange, CA * (1:103/441.0) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 277 CATS Ref: F5G00089 Date: 04/19/98 From: MISS KITTY Time: 08:45pm \/To: CHRISTINE JENSEN (Read 1 times) Subj: Huh? -> Hej Ebbe -> -> Lille en lille hilsen her fra Randers! I think you are posting in the wrong echo. This echo is for people to talk about their cats. Katey Mallory 1:103/441 |\__/,| (`\ Kitty's Keep BBS mallory@chapman.edu _.|o o |_ ) ) Orange, CA ------------------------(((---(((-------- 714-997-9310 /\/\iss | TOPIC: 277 CATS Ref: F5G00090 Date: 04/19/98 From: MISS KITTY Time: 09:02pm \/To: ALL (Read 1 times) Subj: Rules ooo ------------/\__/\-------------------------------- ooo (_) ______; o o ; WELCOME TO THE KATTY KORNER! (_) _/`_____ =^= / The RULES - Katty Korner Echo ooo -<________>__m_m_>-------------------------------- (_) ooo (_) * Please have fun and play nice. ooo (_) * Please refrain from using profanity. /\_/\ * If you disagree with someone, please be nice ( o.o ) (or at least civil) about it. Please, NO flames! > ^ < Join the flame echo if you want to flame someone. _I\/I_ * If you don't like cats, DON'T leave messages here, __ we'd rather not hear from you. Trolls are NOT welcome! 'U` |\---/| * No off-topic messages. Do not post them, do not reply (. .) to them, take it to netmail please. If you don't have -=--=- NetMail ability, please ask your SysOp about it. -`~'- When the Moderator or Co-Moderator(s) says a topic is off limits, no more posts on that topic are allowed. /\_/\ * Aliases and Handles are allowed within reason, as long as =( ^*^ )= the origin line reflects a nodelisted FidoNet system. ( | | ) Do not 'HIDE' behind your alias, as your SysOp knows who (_~^ ^~ you really are! =^..^= * Taglines are allowed - cat tags are especially welcome! /\ /\ * Feel free to ask questions about cat care, medical (@ @) advice, cat showing, training, problem cats, etc. If =(:^:)= we don't know the answer, we'll try to find out. U /\_/\ * Feel free to tell us all about YOUR cat(s), we are = o_o = all interested! Join in the conversation, too! ^ /\_/\ * Please use quotes, but keep them short. Excessively long ( o.o ) quotes not only waste valuable HD space, but make it hard ( ~ ) to follow your message. Generally two to three lines on a (_)-(_) subject is enough to provide continuity. A___A * Disagreements about echo rules are OFF TOPIC in this echo! / o o \ You are entitled to your opinion but if you have one about \ ='= / the rules of this echo you must confine it to netmail sent to the address below. )\_/( * You may at any time have your sysop request this file 'o.o' by the magic name KATRULES.TXT =(_ _)= U * And, of course, don't be excessively annoying and don't be too easily annoyed. .^-^; ooo (';')___ ( Thanks for everyone's cooperation! (_) _) _ , _ ) Miss Kitty, "Meowderator" ooo '--'--''--` aka: Katey Mallory 1:103/441 ooo (_) mallory@chapman.edu (_) --- WILDMAIL!/WC v4.12 * Origin: Kitty's Keep BBS * 714-997-9310 * Orange, CA * (1:103/441.0) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 277 CATS Ref: F5G00091 Date: 04/19/98 From: MISS KITTY Time: 10:48pm \/To: ALL (Read 1 times) Subj: You know you're a cat lover when... =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= You Know You're A Cat Person When.... ...you refer to going to the bathroom as "using the litterbox." ...you do not consider an outfit complete without some cat hair. ...you consider cat hair in your food as extra fiber. ...you apologize to the cat when you step on a fuzzy cat toy in the dark. ...you snap your fingers and pat the sofa beside you to invite your guests to sit down. ...you sleep on one edge of the bed because the cat is sleeping in the middle looking soooo cute! ...you accidentally put your child's dinner plate on the floor. ...you spend more money on toys for your cats than on the kids or grandkids. ...you decorate your Christmas tree with dangly cat toys. ...your neighbors refer to you as "the crazy one with all the cats." ...you have more pictures of your cats than your kids in your wallet. ...you refer to your cat as your furry child. ...your parents wind up with a four-footed, furry "grandchild." ...you plan your vacation around the cat show schedule. ...you accidentally call your spouse by your cat's name! ...you set a place at the dinner table for your cat. ...you have a set of towels with "His" "Hers" and "Kitty's." ...you call home and leave a message on the answering machine for your cat. ...you have the cat meow on the outgoing message of the answering machine. ...you and kitty have matching outfits. ...your spouse says, "Me or the cat!," and there's no hesitation. ...you never go to the door unless it's to let a cat out. ...your favorite friends have fleas. ...you chose a house to buy based on it having a good location for the catbox. ...you think cat fur makes a wonderful garnish to any meal. ...you own 17 varieties of kitty-nail-clippers. ...you are lost for conversation with non-cat people. ...you meow so well, you confuse the cats. ...you bore the neighbors with discussions on the exact nutritional differences between 9-Lives and Amore...at length. --- WILDMAIL!/WC v4.12 * Origin: Kitty's Keep BBS * 714-997-9310 * Orange, CA * (1:103/441.0) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 277 CATS Ref: F5G00092 Date: 04/21/98 From: SUSAN COOK Time: 03:36am \/To: MISS KITTY (Read 1 times) Subj: New Kitten -=>Can you believe what Miss Kitty said to Susan Cook? Who woulda thunk? MK> You need to use a cotton square, or a baby butt-wipe, MK> and get it damp with warm water. Then rub the kitty's anus MK> in a gentle stroking manner. MK> I know this sounds disgusting and bizarre, but mother MK> cats lick their kitten's backsides to stimulate the MK> kitten to go to the bathroom. (Incidentally, the mom MK> cat eats the feces too, but you don't need to go that MK> far! haha) MK> It's really important to get the kitten going to the MK> bathroom. If she doesn't, she'll get all stopped up MK> and bloated... Thankfully she has started on her own, and is now urinating also. I will keep this in mind though for any future small kittens I take in. Thanks for the help. I noticed, the first night, I bathed her with a wet face cloth, and she started purring. She must have thought I was her mother bathing her, and since then she has kept herself much cleaner. She is doing great.. Eating like a pig, doing her BM's .. although she had to be shown a few times about the litter box, and gaining more and more control of her body daily. She is going to be a little holy terror if this keeps up! ... A cat is easier to train than a Sysop... and usually better behaved. --- EzyBlueWave V1.48g0 01fa0167 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)