--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F4500013 Date: 04/03/98 From: GOTTFRIED GIDALY Time: 10:09pm \/To: ALL (Read 2 times) Subj: Taglines --------------------------------------------------- [Begin Tags] How To Serve Man ... a recipe book from the Twilight Zone How come I can't deduct MY old skivvies for $5, Bill? How did *this* happen? Crusher How can you buy or sell the sky? - Chief Sealth, 1852 How can you tell if a man is lying? His lips move! How come you don't judo me? -- Tom Servo How big do these things grow anyway? How did a fool and his money get together? How can I prove to you I'm mortal? - Q DIE! - Worf How can I miss you when you won't go away? How can I be creative with 39-year-old rebuilt engines? - B'llanna Tor How about follically- deficient for bald How can DOS remember where a memory error was? How come there aren't any Air Force-Marine surplus stores? How am I looking? Looking *nice*! - The Cat How bad can it be? -Tick Okay...try and keep up. -Sewer Urchin How complicated can it be? A loop's a loop isn't it? How can life after death be more serene than life itself? How are you going to pay for that -- Rimmer How are we to know weather we actually exist or only think we exist? How come all you guys sit on your helmets? How a blonde becomes more intelligent: dyes her hair Brunette How can I make it easier for you? - Lwaxana How about 'A Sale Of Two Tittys'? How can you eat this slop? - My mouth is tone-deaf. - Radar How can you be deaf with ears like that -- McCoy How about going back to my place? the girl asked easily How did the accident happen? Well, you see those stairs? I didn't! How are you, Bruce? A bit crooked, Bruce How come you don't judo me? - Tom as geeky guy to girl How can we go on believing in them????? How come they all turned when he said `Dad'? Tom Servo How darling & lovely! - Crow gushes How about a quick one before the Indy 500? Tom prezoomed to ask How can I prove I'm mortal? - Q DIE! - Worf How about trying to make some sense How can I fail when I have no purpose? How are you feeling, Mr. Lister Sir? * Kryten How about a little peel & squeal at my place? How come it hurts so much, mister? - Sherri How come the Pizza guy gets here faster than the cops? How come your own farts never stink? How can I find out what "dictionary" means? How can you tell the dance from the dancer? How can you not sing for all to hear?! - We are Klingons! - Kahless How about a pin the missile on the Iraqi leader game? How can one sleep with all that racket just 6 inches from his ear? How did the blonde kill the bird? Threw it off a cliff How can I find your roots when I can't find mine? How can you fire Van Halen from Van Halen? -- Beavis How can your head be both pointy and flat at the same time? How come the pizza gets here faster then the police? How can we explain the Christian Coalition? INBREEDING How could you? I'm a woman! I'm sorry, I... (SUCKER!) How blind are those who refuse to see? How can anyone flunk sex education? How about if I optimize your hard disk? How about a A_LICK_EACH_OTHER_TIL_WE'RE_SCREAMING_!_ echo? How come I get all the hard questions? How can one tiny Caps Lock Harm us? not Just Caps Lock How come I got round from eating square meals? How are we supposed to...? You'll get the hang of it How about the top of the Empire State Building? Cary Grant How dare you presume that I am heterosexual! How come there was so much dragon and so little treasure How come women aren't in the NHL? The guys would rather CHECK them out How come Grandma never pulls the pull my finger routine? How To Paralyze A Woman From The Waist Down...Marry Her How are lawyers and sperm alike? Only one in a million do anything How can you support all of that weight out of water? How can I tell you I love you, you're sitting on my face How can there be SELF-help GROUPS? How about you? Any family? Kim to Torres How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water How come nobody ever tampers with Spam?-Monty Python How come no one on Trek eats Cajun food? How could I download a virus It said NO CARRIER How about Bad News for Bad Dudes? How am I DOOM ][-ing? Dial 1-900-BFG-9000 How could I have d/l'ed a virus?!?! It said NO CARRIER! How about a kiss. - Pulaski How about Chinese tonight, Seymour? - Audrey II How can I soar like an eagle if I'm surrounded by turkeys How about some acronyms? How can I convince you I am mortal? Die, Q! How dare you call me a tagline thief! How can you be two places at once when you're not anywhere at all? - Firesign Theater How deep would the ocean be without sponges ? How can you avoid hurting someones feelings without being a liar? How can I run amok? I don't even own one! How did @N@ get into my tagline? How did Bill and Hillary meet? Dating the same woman! How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries? She has a checkbook How can one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE ?? How can I help it I'm so fast? How can you stand it... not getting older? - Kenny How can ya call me evil? Have you spoken to God today? How did I get so round from eating square meals? How can you make a spacesuit look like evening wear? How are you, boy? - Dr. Soong to Data [End Tags] --------------------------------------------------- Message sent by SqTool version 12 --- SQtools * Origin: -GG/W18- (2:313/37.79) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F4500014 Date: 04/04/98 From: BARRY BLAES Time: 04:01pm \/To: WOLFGANG ERNICKE (Read 2 times) Subj: Elephant Tags **File D:\SX\TAGLINES.TAG :Spam,spam,it comes in a can.. and elephants come in quarts  Got a baby elephant vacuum cleaner...   Got a baby elephant vacuum cleaner...  --Weird Al Yankovic. (singing): Spam, spam, it comes in a can...And elephants come in quarts! (SSSSKWWOOOOSH)...HEY, get the elephant off my computer! (SSSSKWWOOOOSH)...HEY, get the elephant off my computer!...too late. It's the four elephants of the apocalypse! --Ned Flanders. @TO@, I don't care about the damn elephants on your foot! @TOFIRST@ should go back to jumping the elephant mans bones. A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of... A mouse is an elephant built by a committee. A mouse is an elephant built by Japanese. A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese. A Mouse is an Elephant built in Japan. A Mouse is an Elephant designed by the Japanese. A sheep: is a tampon for an elephant. A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound. Abrams's Advice: When eating an elephant, take one bite at a time. AD&D Famous Last Words: Those Orcs couldn't hit an elephant at thi- Ada is like a waltz of drugged elephants. ADDITIONAL TAGLINES? Send a self-abused, stomped elephant, to ==> [ ]. Am I an elephant? I'm gray and wrinkled! An elephant graveyard is no place for a young prince. Oops! --Scar. An Elephant in the tooth is worth 3.1415927 in the oven. An Elephant is a mouse built by Ford. An elephant is a mouse built by the Japanese. An Elephant is a Mouse built by the U.S. Senate. An elephant is a mouse built to gov't specs! An elephant is a mouse built to gov. specs. An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications. An Elephant is a Mouse built to government specs. An elephant is a mouse built to government. An Elephant is a mouse built to MIL Specs. An elephant is a mouse built to Mil-spec. An elephant is a mouse built to mil-specs. An elephant is a mouse built to military specifications. An elephant is a mouse for OS/2. An elephant is a mouse using OS/2 ... An elephant is a mouse with an operating sys. An elephant is a mouse with an operating system. An Elephant Is Just A Mouse Built To Gov't Specs! An elephant is the Windows version of an armadillo. An elephant never, umm, err... oh. An Elephant. A mouse built to government specs. An Elephant: A mouse built to government specifications. An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications. --L. Long. An Elephant: A mouse Built to Government Standards An Elephant: A mouse Built to US Government Standards. An invisible elephant? --Dana Scully. An invisible elephant? --Scully. And away he'll schlep on his elephant Shep while Bella and Ursula. And remember, humor comes in Taglines; elephants come in quarts! Aren't you glad elephants can't fly? Arrogance : An ant crawling up an elephants leg with intent to rape! As funny as a crazed diarrhetic elephant. As funny as...a crazed diarrhetic elephant. As the elephant said to the naked man, how do you eat with that? But where's the self-abused, stomped elephant seal of approval? Can elephants fly? Can you throw styrofoam peanuts to styrofoam elephants? Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch. Celebrate Hannibal Day. Take an elephant to lunch. CHILL OUT: Ohura is NOT an elephant. CHILL OUT: Uhura is NOT an elephant. Coming to you in my next message ... ELEPHANT(S). Confucius say: Women and elephants never forget an injury Conservative elephants, Nixon was innocent! Conservative elephants, Nixon was innocent! (And Nixon's *alive*, too!) Copiers are as afraid of staples as elephants are afraid of mice. Cross an elephant with a beaver and get a Hoover Dam. Cross an elephant with a dairy cow and get Peanut butter. Cross an elephant with a duck and light bulb & get a huge electric bill. Cross an elephant with a frisbee and get a hernia. Cross an elephant with a kangaroo and get big dents in the ground. Cross an elephant with a mouse get very large holes in the baseboards. Cross an elephant with a mouse get very large holes in the. Cross an elephant with a sheep get enough wool to knit a skyscraper. Cross an elephant with a skunk and get very few friends. Cross an elephant with a Volkswagen get a little car with a big trunk. Crow: Man, my corn is as high as an elephant's eye! Def: Elephant: A mouse Built to Government Standards. Def: Womb: the sound an elephant makes passing gas. Did anyone get the number of that elephant? --Tom Foley. Do not kiss an elephant on the lips today. Don't breath this stuff - you'll see pink elephants! Don't breath this stuff - you'll see pink elephants! --Riggs. Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today. Don't stop to stomp ants when the elephants are stampeding. DOS...Windows...OS/2. An elephant is a mouse using OS/2 ... Dr. Smith insults Robot: Elephantine Adam. EGA: Extinct Graphics Adaptor. A white elephant in 16 colors. EIB: Elephantine Indolent Braggart. Elephant (buying computer): Lots of memory, no mouse. Elephant (n) 1. Mouse, built to Government specifications Elephant (n.) - Mouse built to government specs. Elephant - A mouse built to government specifications. Elephant - A mouse Built to Government Standards. Elephant - Mouse Built to Government Specs. Elephant - Mouse built to government standards. Elephant --- Mouse built to Government Specs. Elephant : a mouse built to government specs. Elephant , we're democrats Mabel --Sheriff J. W. Pepper. Elephant Graveyard - Washington, DC. Elephant in the fridge? Where? Look, footprints in the Jello! Elephant spit, we're democrats Mabel. --Sheriff J. W. Pepper. Elephant's Dong by Miles Long. Elephant: A mouse built to Government specifications. Elephant: A mouse built to government specifications. --Heinlein. Elephant: A mouse built to government specifications. --RAH. Elephant: A mouse built to government specs! Elephant: A mouse Built to Government Standards. Elephant: A mouse built to MilSpec. Elephant: A mouse built to MS-DOS specifications. Elephant: A mouse built to US Govt Specs. Elephant: a mouse: built to US Government specs. Elephant: Mouse built to Congressional specifications. Elephant: Mouse built to government specifications. Elephant: Mouse built to government specs! Elephant: Salamander designed to Mil-Spec. --- Fastecho 1.45a * Origin: The Bears Den. $25.99 per tagline. (1:2630/140) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F4500015 Date: 04/04/98 From: BARRY BLAES Time: 04:02pm \/To: WOLFGANG ERNICKE (Read 2 times) Subj: Beavis and Butthead Tags 'Fire!, Fire! Fire!' --Beavis.... or was that Koresh? 'Stop in the name of all that does not suck!' --Butt-Head. 'Those are flat.' -Beavis 'Whoa! Topless tribeswomen!' -Butthead 'Yeah...but they're still cool!' -Butthead *Now* we're getting somewhere. --Beavis. ...then it would RULE! --Butt-Head. 2400 Baud SUCKS! --v.bis and Butthead. 2400 SUCKS! --v.bis and Butthead. 30 seconds of Beavis and Butthead is like 30 hours of the 3 Stooges. A butthead? I just thought you had bad breath. A flatuating butthead. --Tom describing a jerky guy. A MARINE CAN STAND *ANYTHING*! --Mr. Buzzcut. AAARRGGHH! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! --Beavis. After these messages, Beavis and Butthead play nice. Ahhh, AHHHH, I am Cornholio, aaaa aaa aaaahhhh AHHHHHH! --Beavis. America's Beavis and Butthead: Clinton and gore. Anal-cranially inverted. --butthead. And what's more, I don't *give* a rat's ass. --Butt-Head. Are you Beavis or Butthead? Are you threatening me? --Beavis. Assimilation is cool. huh-huh-huh. --Beavis of Borg. Assimilation is cool. Huh-huh. Huh-huh-huh. --Beavis of Borg. Assimilation is Cool..hehehehehehehehe. --Beavis of Borg. B&B = Beavis and Butt-Head. Barney episodes we'll never see: Barney, Beavis and Butthead. Barney. Haha. haha. hmm. haha. haha. He's looking at you Beavis. Beavis & Butt-head: Road kill on the Information Superhighway. Beavis & Butthead: MST3000 for morons. Beavis and Butt-head of Borg: Resistance sucks! Beavis and Butt-Head: Mystery Science Theater 3000 for morons. Beavis and Butt-head: Taglines are c00l! Uhh-hu-hu-u-hu... BEAVIS and BUTTHEAD are actually based on most of MTV's viewers. Beavis and Butthead for Primetime! Beavis and Butthead must die... Beavis and Butthead of Borg: Resistance sucks! Beavis and Butthead on VH-1! What a concept! Beavis and Butthead vote Democrat. Beavis and Butthead, the hottest show in town. Beavis and Butthead: MST3000 for morons. Beavis and Butthead: MST3K for morons. Beavis Gump.....He said box. Uh huh huh uh huh. Beavis has a magic Johnson- It disappears into his hand. --Butt-Head. Beavis I have seen the top of the Mt., and it is good.. Beavis is not dog food! .. huh uh huh He's worm food! Beavis of Borg. Assimilation is cool. huh-huh-huh. Beavis of Borg: He said assimilate! Heh, heh, mm, heh... Beavis of Borg: You said A$$-imilate. heh heh hehheh. Beavis of Borg: You said ASS-imilate. huh huh huhhuh. BEAVIS! What is your major malfunction? --Buzzcut. Beavis, And Butthead Kick ASS, huh huh huh Moderators Suck, Huh Huh! Beavis, are you sure you're ready for this? --Butt-Head. Beavis, don't ever take that tone with me! --Butt-Head. Beavis, I thought you were daddy's little cutie? Beavis, I'm a little disappointed in you. --Butt-Head. Beavis, lets beat up @TO@ and take all his candy. Beavis, pull my finger. Beavis, you gotta get a whiff of this! --Butt-Head. Beavis, you wuss, you never drank a beer! Beavis: he, he... NO CARRIER is cool... he, he! Best Democratic candidates in 96? Beavis and Butt-head. BEVIS and BUTTHEAD are actually based on most of MTV's viewers. Bill and Al are the Beavis and Butthead of Washington, D.C. Bill Clinton's best friend is named Beavis. Blame Beavis and Butthead, they made me do it. Bother said Pooh as Beavis kicked him in the gnads. Bother said Pooh, as Beavis and Butthead roasted Piglet. Bother! said Pooh, as Beavis and Butt-Head began to roast Piglet. Bother! said Pooh, as Beavis and Butt-Head roast Piglet. Bother! said Pooh, as Beavis and Butthead roasted Piglet. Bother! said Pooh, Beavis and Butthead are barbecuing Barney! Bother! said Pooh, Beavis and Butthead are roasting Piglet! Bother, said Pooh as Beavis and Butt-Head began to roast Piglet. Bother, said Pooh as Beavis and Butt-Head roast Piglet. Bother, said Pooh as Beavis and Butt-Head roasted Piglet. Bother, said Pooh as Beavis and Butthead torched him. Bother, said Pooh Beavis and Butthead are barbecuing Barney! Bother, said Pooh Beavis and Butthead are roasting Piglet! Bother, said pooh, as Beavis & Butthead roasted Piglet. Bother, said Pooh, as Beavis and Butt-Head began to roast Piglet. Bother, said Pooh, as Beavis and Butt-Head roast Piglet. Bother, said Pooh, as Beavis and Butt-Head roasted Piglet. Bother, said Pooh, as Beavis and Butthead are roasting Piglet! Bother, said Pooh, as Beavis and Butthead roasted Piglet. Bother, said Pooh, as Beavis and Butthead torched him. Bother, said Pooh, as Beavis kicked him in the gnads. Bother, said Pooh, Beavis and Butthead are barbecuing Barney! Bother, said Pooh, Beavis and Butthead are barbecuing Bunny. Bother, said Pooh, Beavis and Butthead are roasting Piglet! Bother, said Pooh, Beavis and Butthead R roasting Piglet! Bother, said Pooh,Beavis and Butthead are roasting Piglet! Break'n the law, break'n the law. --Beavis and Butt-head. Breakin the Law, Breakin the Law, huh huhh. --Beavis and Butthead. Breakin' the Law, Breakin' the Law! --Beavis and Butt-Head. Breakin' the Law, Breakin' the Law... huh huh. --Beavis & Butt-Head. Breakin' the Law, Breakin' the Law... huh huh. --Beavis and Butt-Head. Brother, said Pooh, as Beavis and Butthead roasted Piglet. BURGER WAR! --Beavis and Butt-Head. Bush/Quayle disappear from public view, and Beavis & Butthead appear... Bush/Quayle disappear from public view, and Beavis and Butthead appear. But Mrs. Dickie, Beavis and Butt-Head are complete imbeciles. --Daria. But Mrs. Dickie, Beavis and Butthead are complete imbeciles. But under these circumstances, it sucks. --Beavis. Butt-Head, Butt-Head! Come quick! Bare ass on TV! --Beavis. Butt-Head: Beavis - he's got the Playboy Channel! Butt-Head: Beavis has a magic Johnson- It disappears into his hand. Butt-Head: Beavis is not dog food... Huh uh huh... He's worm food! Butt-Head: Beavis, are you sure you're ready for this? Butt-Head: Beavis, don't ever take that tone with me! Butt-Head: Beavis, don't you *ever* tell me to shut up. Butt-Head: Beavis, we need to start a band. TODAY. Butt-Head: Beavis, you gotta get a whiff of this! Butt-Head: Damn it Beavis! Pull your pants up! Butt-Head: Does this mean that Beavis'll hafta shave his butt? Butt-Head: Excuse me, Beavis. I have to go spank my monkey. Butt-Head: Hey Beavis, I hear disco is making a comeback! Butt-Head: Hey Beavis, you know we could like, go to jail for this? Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis - she's thinking about our weiners. Butt-Head: How old are you, Beavis? Butt-Head: huh huh huh Settle down, Beavis! --- Fastecho 1.45a * Origin: The Bears Den. $25.99 per tagline. (1:2630/140) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F4500016 Date: 04/04/98 From: BARRY BLAES Time: 04:02pm \/To: WOLFGANG ERNICKE (Read 2 times) Subj: Beavis and Butthead Tags Butt-Head: I'm pretty cool, Beavis, but I can't change the future. Butt-Head: It's over my head. - Beavis It's under my butt. Butt-Head: Manly yes, but Beavis likes it too! Butt-Head: Oh yeah? How old are you Beavis? Butt-Head: Settle down Beavis. You're gonna soil your drawers! Butt-Head: Shut up Beavis. Don't make me kick your a** again. Butt-Head: That's pretty smooth, Beavis. Butt-Head: You know what sucks, Beavis? Butt-Head: You're a butt-monkey, Beavis! Butt-Head: You're a dumbass, Beavis. Butt-Head: You're a dumb[butt], Beavis. Butt-Head: You're a little too good at that, Beavis.... Butt-Head: You're a pervert, Beavis! Butt-Head: You're full of good ideas today, Beavis! Butt-Head: You're pretty stupid, Beavis. Butt-Head: You've gotta have the right tool for the job, Beavis. Butthead : Men who feel themselves (ha.ha.huh). Butthead Butthead! Come here quick! Bare ass on TV! Butthead Butthead! Come here quick! SQUID baseball on TV! Butthead Butthead! Come here quick! SQUID baseball on TV! huh huh huh. Butthead has left COOL lets talk about him... HUH HUH HUH. Butthead of Borg, Prepare to be assimilated ass-munch. Butthead of Borg. Uh-huh-huh-huh Assimilation's cool. Butthead of Borg: Assimilation is cool. huh-huh-huh. Butthead of Borg: Resistance sucks! Butthead of Borg: Resistance sucks, you will torch cats. Butthead of Borg: ShutUP Beavis or I'll assimilate you. Butthead virus would be annoying! uh huh huh uh Your system. BUTTHEAD! Butthead! Butthead! Come here quick. Bare ass on TV! Butthead, a Borg. Duh-Uh, Resistance sucks. Butthead, Butthead! Come here quick! SQUID baseball on tv! huh huh. Butthead, Butthead! Come quick! Bare ass on TV! Butthead, look! That's the chick from 902103638574239 ! Butthead, you're pretty smart sometimes. --Beavis. Butthead: BURGER WAR! Butthead: Check it out! There's something cool coming up. Butthead: Men who feel themselves (ha.ha.huh). Butthead: That guy', asswipe. Butthead: That guy's chin looks like a butt. Butthead: What seems to the problem? Beavis: My thingy itches! Butthead:That guy's chin looks like a butt. Butthead:Uhhhh..huhhuhuh..you said ism. Buttheads do have a redeemable feature: Mortality. Buzzcut: BEAVIS! WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION? C'mon Butthead, change it! Change it, Butthead! This sucks! C'mon Butthead, change it. Change Butthead. This sucks! C'mon Butthead, change it. Change it Butthead! This sucks! C'mon, you buttheads! --Crow. Can I get some nachos? No! Are you sure this is heaven? --Beavis. Can we be in your will? --Butt-Head. Cartoons now just suck! --Beavis. Cease, in the name of everything that does not suck! --Butt-Head. Cease, in the name of everything that doesn't suck! --Butthead. Change it Butthead, change it. Change it Butthead! This sucks! Change it! Change it, Butthead! This sucks! This Sucks! Change it, Butt-Head! This sucks! This Sucks! --Beavis. Change it, Butthead! - No way suffer, dude! Change it, Butthead, this sucks! Change it! CHANGE IT! Charity sucks. --Butt-Head. Check it out Beavis, he's got a drive-thru head set. Check it out Beavis, he's got a drive-thru headset! huh huh huh. Check it out Beavis, he's got a drive-thru headset! huh huh. Check it out Beavis, he's got a drive-thru headset. Check it out Beavis, it's one of those laboratory retrievers! Check it out. There's something cool coming up. --Butt-Head. Check out my butt! --Beavis. Choke your own chicken, dude! --Beavis. Choking is cool man, he hu huh huh - Beavis and Butthead. Choking is cool man, he hu huh huh. --Beavis. Choking is cool man, he huh huh huh. --Beavis. Christ is cool! --Beavis Clinton and Gore - The Beavis and Butthead of politics Clinton and Gore - The Bevis and Butthead of politics. Clinton and Gore - Washington's answer to Beavis and Butt-head. Clinton and Gore: Beavis and Butthead do DC. Clinton/Gore - DC's version of Beavis and Butt-head Clinton/Gore - the Beavis and Butthead of politics. Clinton/Gore elected then Beavis & Butthead appear. Coincidence? Clinton/Gore elected then Beavis and Butthead appear. Coincidence? Clinton/Gore elected; Beavis & Butthead appear. Coincidence? Clinton/Gore elected; Beavis and Butt-head appear--coincidence? Clinton/Gore is to the presidency as Beavis & Butthead are to cartoons. Clinton/Gore is to the presidency as Beavis & Butthead are to television. Clinton/Gore is to the presidency as Beavis and Butthead are to cartoons. Clinton/Gore is to the presidency as Beavis and Butthead are to television. Clinton/Gore--DC's version of Beavis and Butt-Head. Close only counts in horseshoes & lemonade, or something. --Butthead. Close only counts in horseshoes and lemonade or something. --Butthead. Come out with your pants down! --Beavis. Come to Butt-Head. --Butt-Head, to attractive women. Coming this Spring Barney meets Beavis and Butthead. Coming up next: Beavis's acapello rendering of Ave Maria. Coming up on MTV... Beavis and Buttafuoco! COOL! THIS RULES! - Beavis and Butthead on Urotsukidoji COOL! THIS RULES! --Beavis and Butthead on the Invid Invasion. Cool.. yeah... fire! fire!... yeah... cool... --BEAVIS. Could you like shut up and give us some money? --Butt-Head. Credit cards are cool. --Beavis. CRINGE! Kewl! Heh heh heh! It rocks! Huh huh! --Beavis. Cross-posted from alt.tv.beavis.butthead.this.sucks.huh.huh.huh.huh.huh. Cross-posted: alt.tv.beavis.butthead.this.sucks.huh.huh. Crowley ala Beavis Do what thou wilt be the whole of my butt CyberBrats...Beavis and Carpalhead. D***it, I just took a leak on some dog turds! --Beavis. Damn it Beavis! Pull your pants up! --Butt-Head. Damn it, Beavis, if there's one thing I know, it's chicks. --Butt-Head. Damn it, Beavis, pull your pants up! Damn it, Beavis, you are messed up! --Butt-Head. Damn, we're smooth! --Beavis. Darn, we're smooth! --Beavis. Death by..uh Saw off his tweeter! --Butthead 'n Lorena Bobbitt. Death by..uhhh... Saw off his tweeter! --Butthead 'n Lorena Bobbitt. Depeche Mode is French for 'We're wussies.' --Butthead. Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrhea cha cha cha. --Beavis and Butt-Head. Diarrhea cha cha chaa, Diarrhea cha cha cha. --Beavis and Butt-Head. Diarrhea cha cha chaa, Dirareaha cha cha cha. --Beavis and Butt-Head. Did it, like, get quiet? --Butt-Head. Did you know that BBS stood for Beavis and ButtheadS? Disguise your voice Shut up, Beavis... --- Fastecho 1.45a * Origin: The Bears Den. $25.99 per tagline. (1:2630/140) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F4500017 Date: 04/04/98 From: BARRY BLAES Time: 04:03pm \/To: WOLFGANG ERNICKE (Read 2 times) Subj: Coffee Tags Basic Food Groups: caffeine, chocolate, grease, salt, sugar 'Bother!' said Pooh as he put the coffee in the microwave... (A)bort (R)etry (F)ail (G)o fix the coffee? (A)bort (R)etry (G)o get coffee (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (F)ix the coffee? (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (G)o fix coffee? (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (G)o fix the coffee (A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (M)ake coffee? (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)o fix the coffee? ******* All the asterisks and twice the caffeine! **************** *REAL* BBSers never substitute sleep for caffeine. *SIP* oops! ...mental note: get coffee colored shirts. *~~<=THIS is your brain on drugs with a side order of toast and coffee. ...and this only my TENTH cup of coffee ... ...but probably quite unable to drink the coffee ... ...high on coffee and rather sticky. --Mutant Raccoon. 3 Things I can't stand: wet toilet paper, cold coffee and. 3 times your coffee was too hot and you burned your tongue. 4 food groups: Coffee, Alcohol, Sugar, and Sex. 4 food groups: Coffee, Black Rum, Root beer, and Sex. 4 Food Groups: Coffee, Chocolate, Ice Cream, Coffee 4 Food Groups: Coffee, Chocolate, Sugar, and Jolt. 4 food groups: Coffee, Chocolate, Sugar, and Sex. 4 Food Groups: Pizza, Coffee, Chocolate and Sex. 7 cups of coffee, 6 hour flight. Drats, no empty cans.. Spill some acid? - Nope, @TOFIRST@'s coffee. Spill some acid? - Nope, Navy coffee. @TOFIRST@ never drinks coffee when captured by Cardassians. @TOFIRST@! you cooked the coffee pot! --Max Sterling. @TOFIRST@'s so nervous, he keeps coffee awake. @TOFIRST@, Wake up and smell the coffee! @TOLAST@'s Summer Camp: Counselors on Prozac, kids on caffeine! A coffee break for Sisyphus! A coffee cup gets lighter the longer you hold it. A day without Genealogy is like a day without coffee. A filter of coffee cups. A flying saucer is the result of a nudist spilling his coffee. A flying saucer is what results when a nudist spills his coffee. A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee A jar of coffee a day keeps the sleep away. A little too much coffee this morning? A low-fat, high stress diet .... coffee and fingernails. A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems. A mathematician is a person who turns coffee into theorems. A mathematician is just a machine for turning coffee into theorems. A morning without coffee is like sleep. A morning without coffee is like something without ... something else. A Old Timer remembers when: a coffee break was your lunch hour. A Old Timer remembers when: coffee was a grind and paying for it was not. A phaser on stun is like a morning without coffee. A programmer is a machine that convert coffee into programs. A programmer: A machine for converting coffee to software. A)bort, R)etry, F)ail, G)o fix the coffee? A)bort, R)etry, G)o fix the coffee? A.M. FAULT: Insert Coffee and Press Any Key. Able to put sugar in coffee with both hands. Ack! There's too much blood in my caffeine stream! Actually, the Aliens' acid blood was cafeteria coffee Actually, the Aliens' acid blood was Navy coffee... After no fat, sugar, salt, caffeine, what's left? Aha! A coffee maker that fits in a 1/2 height slot! Ahead warp 9: there's coffee in that nebula! Alcohol Wars : Coffee, Juice, Water : The Dark side are they... Alcohol, Caffeine, Nicotine, Chocolate: The 4 Food Groups Amazing what caffeine and no sense of self-preservation can do Amazing what coffee and no sense of self-preservation can do. Ambidextrose: Able to put sugar in coffee with both hand Ambidextrose: Able to put sugar in coffee with both hands. Ambidextrose: Able to put sugar in coffee with either hand! Ambidextrose: Able to put sugar in tea or coffee with either hand. And a reminder: Don't do drugs! Just say no to caffeine! And then she pours me a damn cup of coffee. --BJ. And THIS is your brain on drugs with a side order of toast and coffee. And this only my TENTH cup of coffee ... And we're out of coffee. SCREAM! Another pot of coffee down the programming hatch! Another sour coffee cup. One more piece of cardboard pie. Any religion that rejects caffeine worships a false god. Any religion that rejects coffee worships a false god. Any religion that rejects coffee worships a false god. --Unknown. AOL Disk: Conversation piece for coffee table. Appease the Moderator Monster. Send coffee! Arab coffee: Thick coffee, traditionally served in tiny cups at gunpoint. Around the world in 80 _minutes_ with coffee! Around the world with coffee. As you can tell, i like Dr. Pepper! it's my coffee. At 16 cups of coffee a day, sleep becomes irrelevant! Avoid drinking coffee at 5o'clock. Back off on the coffee when you can't even hold the cup anymore. Back off on the coffee when you can't hold the cup anymore. Bad day: The health inspector condemns your coffee maker. Bad or missing coffee, user halted. Ban assault coffee. Bart's Blackboard - Coffee is not for kids. Basic Food Groups: caffeine, chocolate, grease, salt, sugar. Basic food groups: caffeine, sugar, fat and alcohol. Be a coffee-drinking individual... espresso yourself! Been there, Done that, Got the T-Shirt and Coffee Cup. Berman's Bible: Sid Coffee And Bream. Better cut back on the caffeine, my friend. --Sheriff Buck. Better than coffee? a childs hug first thing in the morning! Black coffee's not enough for me, I need a better friend. Black coffee, blue morning. Black gold - not oil, but coffee! Black gold - not oil...COFFEE! Blended Coffee... today's and yesterday's. Bluewave ready..goto caffeine source? Y/N? Bother! said Pooh, as he finished the jar of coffee. Bother! said Pooh, as he mopped up the spilt coffee. Bother! said Pooh, as he put the coffee in the microwave. Bother! said Pooh, as he strangled Roo for knocking over his coffee. Bother! said Pooh, as Roo knocked over his coffee. Bother! said Pooh, when he discovered weevils in the coffee jar. Bother!' said Pooh as he put the coffee in the microwave... Bother, said Pooh as he sopped coffee from his keyboard. Bother, said Pooh, as he put the coffee in the microwave. Bought a decaffeinated coffee table - you can't even see a difference. Bought a decaffeinated coffee table. You can't even tell. Bought a decaffeinated coffee table; You can't even see a difference. Bought a decaffienated coffee table; You can't even see a difference. --- Fastecho 1.45a * Origin: The Bears Den. $25.99 per tagline. (1:2630/140) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F4500018 Date: 04/04/98 From: BARRY BLAES Time: 04:03pm \/To: WOLFGANG ERNICKE (Read 2 times) Subj: Coffee Tags Life's too short for bad coffee. Living on Ramen, Vitamin C, and Caffeine... Love & scandal are coffee's best sweeteners. Love and scandal are coffee's best sweeteners Love on a coffee table -- a many-splintered thing. Love on a coffee table ... a many a-splintering thing. Make another pot of coffee. I'm gonna read mail Make another pot of coffee...I'm gonna read the mail! Make another pot of coffee...I'm gonna' read my mail. Make coffee from freeze-dried fundies! Man does not live by coffee alone. Have a Danish! Man does not live by coffee alone. Have a Doughnut! Mathematician: a machine for converting coffee into theorems. Maybe I should cut back to 12 pounds of caffeine a day? Maybe you just need a little more coffee. McDonald's of Borg: Coffee temperature is irrelevant. Meet me at the coffee shop, we can dance like Iggy Pop. --RHCP. Message brought to you by sufficient coffee indigestion. Message brought to you by sufficient coffee ingestion. Mindless ramblings brought to you courtesy of a lack of caffeine. Mindless ramblings brought to you courtesy of much caffeine. Miriya! you cooked the coffee pot! --Max Sterling. Monday special, two valiums with a coffee chaser. Mornings are really going to be rough around here without coffee! --Max. Mountain Q. Q discovers caffeine. Multitasking: downloading and drinking coffee. My apartment's so small, I can have cream but not sugar in my coffee. My coffee tastes like mud! Yep, it was ground this morning. My God... It's full of coffee! Never drink black coffee at lunch. It will keep you awake in the afternoon. Never drink coffee that has been anywhere near a fish. Never drink coffee that's been anywhere near a fish. New Opcode #23: CPTCB - Call Programmer and Take Coffee Break. New Year's Resolution: Donate my coffee pot to the Mormons. Newest PSYCH Disease: Caffeine Deficiency Disorder. Newest PSYCH Disease: Coffee Cup Deficiency Disorder. No filter in the coffee maker. No Revelation 3 coffee, please, Rev. 3:16, hot preferred. No, Bill, you don't snort Colombian coffee through a dollar bill. No, my child, you don't snort Colombian coffee through a dollar bill! No, your fighter doesn't gain any bonuses from drinking coffee. Nonsense. There is no such thing as too much coffee. Now that have my coffee, I am ready to watch radar. Now THAT'S coffee... Now you know why I plug the coffee maker into the UPS. Nudist spills coffee... Flying saucer alert! Nurse please pour this coffee into an IV bag. Of course, coffee *is* one of the major vitamins Office Automation (n) Networked coffee. Oh, my tattered rags are caught on your coffee table. --Homer. Old days: Wine, Women, Song. Now Days: Coffee, Computers, CD's. Old Timer remembers when: a coffee break was your lunch hour. Old Timer remembers when: coffee was a grind and paying for it was not. One brain on drugs, with toast and coffee please. One Nation, with Liberty, Large Fries, and a Coffee to go! Ontology heck! Morning COFFEE recapitulates philogeny! Operator out of coffee...taglines may become irrational. Originator out of coffee, which explains the irrational taglines. Originator out of coffee: recipes may become irrational. Originator out of coffee: Taglines may become irrational. OUCH! The coffee's too hot! Tom yelled heatedly. Out of Coffee Error: Sysop Halted... Out of Coffee, Operator Stopped. Overflow error in COFFEE.POT: FILTER.BAT not found. Oxymoron: Decaffeinated coffee Pablo and Gibsons coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit. Pass The Cinnamon Rolls and Another Cup Of Coffee Petroleum and coffee had no value a few centuries ago. Picard always drank tea. Kirk always drank coffee. Any questions? PICK-UP LINE: Would you like to have morning coffee with me? Plergb hfarizz ungemby AND COFFEE! - _How Much for Just the Planet_ Plergb hfarizz ungemby, and COFFEE. Plergb hfarizz ungemby, AND COFFEE. --McCoy. Plot a course, there's coffee in that nebula! - Janeway Powered by coffee, pizza, and chocolate Product contains NO caffeine or sugar. Not for internal use! Programmer (n.) A device for converting coffee into computer code. Put down the doughnut! Put down the coffee! --Crow T. Robot. Put on a pot of coffee, I've got messages to read! Ransom demand will be met. Just return the coffee pot. Real programmers chew coffee beans. Reality is a manifestation of caffeine withdrawal. Reality is for people who can't find the coffee pot at 3:00am Red eye special - A double espresso with a shot of coffee. Remember that in times of crisis, it's coffee people always turn to. Ross Perot looks like the Pillsbury Dough Boy on caffeine. Rubbers in the mail. Rubbers in the coffee... --Murtaugh. Rule #5: Everyone must buy coffee for @TOFIRST@. Rule #5: Everyone must buy coffee for Jenny. Screw the mug, give me a caffeine I.V.! Secret vice of the ghods #8 - snickerdoodle coffee beans. Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence. Serving coffee on an aircraft causes turbulence. Severe Error 102: Insufficient Coffee, Operator Halted. Sex and coffee: a great combination, if you can find a big enough mug. Share.Exe not loaded... Unable to Share Coffee. It's All Mine. Sito never drinks coffee when captured by Cardassians. Sito never drinks coffee when she's captured by Cardassians. Slander, like coffee, is usually handed to you without grounds. Sleep (n): Bodily function that signals lack of caffeine. Sleep (n): what you do when you run out of Caffeine. SLEEP 1: A poor substitute for caffeine. Sleep is a poor substitute for caffeine. Sleep is a poor substitute for coffee. Sleep is a totally inadequate substitute for caffeine. Sleep is an inadequate substitute for caffeine. Sleep is an inadequate substitute for coffee. SLEEP is for people who can't find the coffee pot.... SLEEP [n]: primary symptom of CDD (Caffeine Deficit Disorder). Sleep, n: An inadequate substitute for caffeine. SLEEP: A poor substitute for caffeine. Sleep: An inferior replacement for caffeine. SLEEP: The karmic payback for inadequate caffeine intake. Sleep: What you do when you run out of caffeine. Sleep? Did you run out of coffee or something? Sleep? Isn't that a completely in adequate substitute for caffeine? Sleep? Isn't that an inadequate substitute for caffeine? Sleep? Isn't that some inadequate substitute for caffeine? Smell the coffee. So things are worth the extra money... Like Coffee. --- Fastecho 1.45a * Origin: The Bears Den. $25.99 per tagline. (1:2630/140) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F4500019 Date: 04/04/98 From: BARRY BLAES Time: 04:05pm \/To: WOLFGANG ERNICKE (Read 2 times) Subj: Ardvark Tags **File D:\SX\TAGLINES.TAG  Aardvarks roasting on an open fire... *  Aardvarks roasting on an open fire... *Four hours* to bury an Aardvark? Yes - it wouldn't keep still. @TO@ and the Space Aardvarks. @TOFIRST@'s Vet and Taxidermy: Either way, you get your aardvark back. Aardvark - Strenuous labor. Aardvark a mile in my shoes...and have! Aardvark a mile in my shoes...and I have! Aardvark A Million Miles For One of Your Smiles. Aardvark comes before aardwolf. Aardvark my car, but I can't see over the steering wheel! Aardvark Preserve. No Hunting, Trapping, or Shedding. Aardvark Preserve. No Hunting, Trapping, or Snedding allowed. Aardvark Preserve. No Hunting, Trapping, or Snedding. Aardvark's Aquarium -- We all live in one fish bowl. AARDVARK: Difficult labor. Aardvark: Strenuous labor. Aardvarking my baby back home. Aardvarking Through Georgia by S. M. Stirling. Aardvarks can lick the mayonnaise out of the bottom of the jar. Aardvarks comes before aardwolves. Ah...oh, I know! Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying. Al's Vet and Taxidermy: Either way, you get your aardvark back. Alas, poor Aardvark, I knew him well! All I ask is a Tall Ship, and an Aardvark to steer her by... An Aardvark in A Strange Land. --RAH. An aardvark is an encrypted Texas armadillo. An Aardvark is not just for Christmas An Aardvark is not just for Christmas anymore. An Aardvark is not just for Christmas! Another Aardvark bites the dust. As advertised in the pages of _Aardvark Shopper_. BBS: Been there, done that... aardvark ate my t-shirt. Be my aardvark, or I will kill you. Be...all that you can be.... in the AARDVARK reserves! Beam me up, Scotty, there's no intelligent aardvarks here. Been there, done that, got the Aardvark! Been there, done that... aardvark ate my t-shirt. Bother! said Pooh, as the aardvarks trampled him. Bother, said Pooh as the aardvarks trampled him. Bother, said Pooh, as the aardvark's breath knocked him out cold... Bother, said Pooh, as the aardvarks trampled him. Busier than a one-eyed aardvark watching two ant hills. But be warned, the aardvark is loaded. But I can't read. CAN'T READ? Sit DOWN! SIT! SIT! Ethel the Aardvark. But I don't like aardvarks. Shutup and eat your dinner. C:\pet C:\pet\aardvark C:\aardvark\ignore\human. Can you imagine a roast aardvark without an apple in its mouth? Center For Advanced Aardvark Juggling! Contest not open to aardvarks or their families. Deormity. It's not just a job. It's an aardvark. Dial `A' For Aardvark- an Alvark Hitchmoose film. Do you have Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying? Does your aardvark fly by herself? No, I fling her. Don't go away, little aardvark... Don't point that aardvark at *me*! Don't you step on my blue suede aardvarks! Energize! said Picard and this pink aardvark appeared... Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying. Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying. --Monty Python. Ethel the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying... the Musical! Ethel the Aardvark was hopping down the river valley ... Ethel the Aardvark was hopping down the river valley... --Monty Python. Everybody wants to be an aardvark! Fifty ways to leave your aardvark. File grabbers - Raiders of the Lost Aardvark. For a reply, send a self-abused, stomped aardvark to. Four hours* to bury an Aardvark? Yes - it wouldn't keep still. G'day mate, throw another aardvark on the barbie! Gah! Color! --Cerebus the Aardvark. Get my aardvark fixed? Why? Is he broken? Getcher scorecards! Can't tell the aardvarks without yer scorecards! Gotta run, hear the FIDO barking at the female aardvark. Gotta run, my sister can't control her aardvark. Gotta run. The aardvark needs mowing. Gotta run... @TOFIRST@'s loading the aardvark. Happy aardvark! Has anyone seen the aardvark lately. Have it YOUR way. --Aardvark King. Have you ever had an aardvark sandwich? The Guess Who. Have you ever noticed how maligned aardvarks are on BBSes. Have you hugged your aardvark today? He who dislikes aardvarks was an ant in his former life. He's dead Jim, get his...With Mallets toward none, and aardvarks for all... Heard on Noah's ark: Sailing is fun, but scrubbing decks is aardvark. Heard on Noah's ark: Sailing is fun, but scrubbing the decks is aardvark. Here come ole' aardvark, he come groovin' up slowly... Hold 'em by the nose, and kick 'em in the Aardvark! --Gen Patton. How much is that aardvark in the window? How much vark could an aardvark vark if an aardvark could vark vark? How to measure an aardvark? use an aardstick! Hurry on down to Hardee's, where the aardvarks are charcoal-broiled! I didn't do it; nobody saw me; you can't prove it; the aardvark lies! I disagree with your aardvark, but I'll defend your right to own him! I inaardvarkedly noticed you had said something... I keep my aardvarks numbered for just such an emergency. I used to be an aardvark, but I got too antsy. I work in the city. My name's Tuesday. I carry an aardvark. I'd just as soon kiss an aardvark! I'd love to but I'm teaching my aardvark to yodel. Ich bin ein Aardvark! If you hold an aardvark to your ear you can hear a moose... In the beginning was the word. And the word was Aardvark. In The Beginning, There Were Aardvarks. Is your aardvark missing? Check my tires. It is better to kiss an avocado than to kiss an aardvark. It was the best of aardvarks and it was the worst of aardvarks... It's an Aardvark thing you wouldn't understand. Kraft Macaroni and Aardvark- it's moosier! Leftist, Marxist, Aardvarks Unite! Let him have it. It's not wise to upset an aardvark. Life, liberty and the pursuit of aardvarks. Look It Up In Your Funk & Aardvark. Look, in the sky, it's a bird... it's an aardvark... it's SUPERMOOSE! May the fleas of a thousand aardvarks infest your erogenous zones! MC&D: This is *NOT* a Test my brand-new aardvark echo... Newbie flambe in a light aardvark sauce... Mmmm, MMM! No, No, Noah! I said ONE ARK and TWO AARDvarks! --God. No, No, Noah! I said ONE ARK and TWO AARDvarks! God, Genesis Chap 6. --- Fastecho 1.45a * Origin: The Bears Den. $25.99 per tagline. (1:2630/140) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F4500020 Date: 04/04/98 From: BARRY BLAES Time: 04:07pm \/To: WOLFGANG ERNICKE (Read 2 times) Subj: Red Dwarf Tags "Fidonet just IS. It's a Zen thing." --Holly Sullivan. 'I'm sure Doctors surgeries are packed with the dead'. --Rimmer. 'I'm sure Doctors surgerys are packed with the dead' Rimmer: Fut.Echos (sign) Nodnol selim 85 It's written in Bulgarian. --Dave Lister. *I'm* space crazy! --Lister. *That* will really help the centuries fly by. --Rimmer. *This* is fun? Are you mad? --Rimmer. ...or I may have to eat you. --The Cat. 140,000 rehydratable chickens? --Rimmer. Check. --Lister. 3 million years in space, nothing! Then 5 suddenly show up! --Holly. 3 Million years! I've still got that library book! --Lister. 5 days to get two and from the cargo decks? --Rimmer. 6000 IQ isn't that much. --Holly. 6000 isn't that much. --Holly. 8 weeks painting the ship! --Rimmer. A Bomb! --Lister. A computer's got to do what a computer's got to do. --Holly. A duplicate me! --Rimmer. A plan with no drawbacks! --Rimmer. A spacesuit with *cufflinks*?! --Rimmer. A spacesuit with cuff links? --Lister. A truly great wine should not leave you with a foam moustache. --Lister. Aaaaaooooouuuuuwwwww! How'm I lookin'?! --The Cat. AAAAHHHH! My underpants are alive! They're shrinking! --Lister. Ace Rimmer. Space Corps. --Ace Rimmer. ACE RIMMER: Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas. Ah, I'm sorry sir--the cat's eaten it. Ah, the Pop-Up Karma Sutra, Zero-Gravity Edition! That's mine. --Lister. Ahead groove factor 5 --Holly. Ahead groove factor 5! Yeah! --Holly. All in all, today's been a bit of a bummer. --Kryten. All of this generosity has made me tired! --The Cat. All right, dudes- what's going down in groove town, then? --Holly. All we get is 'Mind-that-bus-what-bus-SPLAT!' --Rimmer. Allow me to be the first to offer my commiserations. --Rimmer. Alright, dudes- what's going down in groove town, then? --Holly. An android would never rip your head off! --Kryten. An excellent suggestion sir, with only two minor flaws. --Kryten. An IQ of 6000 isn't that much. --Holly. And *don't* say `We're going to get through this'! --The Cat. And on that day, Lister, Satan will be skating to work. --Rimmer. And we get the android version of Norman Bates! --Rimmer. Any moment now. --Rimmer. Anyone care to join me in the Quick Step? --The Cat. Anything's better than listening to an album by Olivia Newton-John. --Holly. April fools! --Holly. But it's not April! --Lister. Are you sure you're sanity chip is fully in? --Kryten. Are you sure your sanity chip is fully in? --Kryten. Arnold J. Rimmer, BSC, SSC. Bronze Swimming Certificate. Arnold J. Rimmer, BSC, SSC. Bronze Swimming Certificate. --Lister. Arnold Rimmer took the blame. --Kryten. Arnold Rimmer, I.Q. unknown. --Rimmer. As my owner, you have to die with me. --Kryten. Ascension Sunday. Ascension Sunday! --Rimmer. Assemble for inspection in 20 minutes. --Rimmer. At least he gets 24 hours notice. --Rimmer. At least in prison you look forward to getting out. --Lister. At least we got the matter panel back. --Kryten. BANG! That's it. Look out, a meteor is about to hit the ship. --Holly. Be cool! Stay slinky! --The Cat. Better dead, than SMEG. --Rimmer. Better make myself look *big*! --The Cat. Better to live an hour as a tiger than a whole life as a worm. --The Cat. Black card, Lister, this is a BLACK CARD SITUATION! --Rimmer. Black card, Lister. Black card. --Rimmer. Boiled chicken ovulations, delicious. --Kryten. Boys, you ain't close! --The Cat. Breakfast is served, sir. --Kryten. Brutal tattoo, man! What's it stand for, Heavy metal? --Young Lister. Busy restaurant needs dish dirtier. --Kryten. But @TOFIRST@, you ARE a smeghead. --Lister. But Orville, you ARE a smeghead. --Lister. But where do all the calculators go? --Kryten. Call me by the nickname I had in school. What, bonehead? --Lister. Cat! You're so gullible! --Lister. Cat: Whenever you're around. Rimmer and Lister: Around. Change of plan! Leg it! --Lister. Clear? --Holly. No. --Lister. Tough. --Holly. Come on, what are you, a man or a munchkin? --Lister. Computer senility. Such a weird condition. --Lister. Dead? But I've been only gone for 2 minutes! --Kryten. Dead? But I've been only gone for two minutes! --Kryten. Death isn't the handicap it used to be in the olden days. --Lister. Death isn't the handicap it used to be. --Lister. Details, halibut breath. --Rimmer. Do I have a head shaped like an amusing ice cube? --Kryten. Do you have a cat? --Capt Hollister. Do you have a cat? --Captain Hollister. Dog ... What's a dog? --The Cat. Don't ask. --The Cat. Don't forget to write! --Rimmer #2. Don't panic, we're going to escape! --Lister. Don't poison my sound waves. --Rimmer. Don't worry fellas Eternity can't last forever! Eek. --The Cat. Don't you remember me? --Rimmer. Drop dead, Rimmer! Already have done. Encore! Drop dead, Rimmer! Already have. Encore! Eeeerrrruuuetch. --The cat, (after eating poisoned kippers). Eight weeks painting the ship! --Rimmer. Emergency! Emergency! There's an emergency going on! --Holly. Emergency. There's an emergency going on. --Holly. Engage panic Circuits. Panic circuits engaged. AAARRRGh! --Kryten. Even with an IQ of 6000 it's still brown trousers time. --Holly. Everybody's dead, Dave; that's what 'lethal' means. --Holly. Everybody's dead... Everybody's dead, Dave. --Holly. Everybody, everybody's dead, everybody's dead Dave. --Holly. Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die. --Kryten. Everyone who is alive, please raise your hand. See, told ya, --Rimmer. Everything's backwards! --Rimmer. Everything's opposite to our universe! --Lister. F-I-S-H that's how you spell fish, Rimmer. --Lister. F-I-S-H. That's how you spell fish. --Lister. F-I-S-H. That's how you spell fish. --Rimmer. Face it - we're deader than corduroy. --The Cat. FidoNet Just *is* - it's a Zen thing. --Holly Sullivan. FidoNet, it's a Zen thing. --Holly Sullivan. FidoNet? It's a kind of Zen thing. --Holly Sullivan. FidoNet? It's a Zen thing. --Holly Sullivan. Fight that flab! --Lister. Fish! --The Cat. Enjoy your meal. --Food Dispenser. --- Fastecho 1.45a * Origin: The Bears Den. $25.99 per tagline. (1:2630/140)