--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F4500001 Date: 04/03/98 From: GOTTFRIED GIDALY Time: 10:09pm \/To: ALL (Read 2 times) Subj: Taglines --------------------------------------------------- [Begin Tags] How could something so small, bite so hard? How can you get a cow into a frying pan? Use shortening How clever Worf! Eat any good books lately? - Q How can I be over the hill when I never got to the top? How can they cut the power, man? They're animals! How can we be sure it's really Al Gore? How come the kamikazi pilots wore helmets? How about that guy I groined in the knee -- Tom Servo How can I insert disk #3 when only two will fit? How can a grown man be so mechanically incompetent?!-Hoolihan 2 Hawk How come men got nipples? How about a new conference for FIDO, called WHINE_AND_CHEESE? How come pizza gets to your door faster than the police? How can you be deaf with ears like those? - McCoy How could anyone be so stupid?! - Jake How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares? How can they be jamming us if they don't know...we're..coming How about Dead Cat logic? How come the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are called "The *One* True God" How can you give thanks for food this bad? - Hawkeye to Fr. Mulcahy How could you be so stupid? - Taylor How big are your members? --Wayne Campbell (Wayne & Garth) How about a bumper sandwich, booger-lips? How about a nice game of chess? Joshua from War Games How did YOU know THAT? Bashir to Sisko How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to How deep would the ocean be if sponges didn't live in it? How come you're bent over like that? ... My wife grabbed my pillow! How come women never remember to leave the seat up? How about the guys at Phoenix (Phoenix BIOS)? How could your mother mate with a Romulan?!?!? - Worf How Toy-et-ic can you get? - F! How are Olympic style Games judges selected, is their work reviewed? How am I supposed to defend myself when I can't see a thing!? - Sito How come you do me like you do, do, do! How about a box of dehydrated chocolates? - Hawkeye How can you have any pudding, when you haven't eaten your meat? How can I cheat? There are no rules. -- Hawkeye How can you be so mean to someone so meaningless? How come there's no F1 on my remote control? How about '101 Ways To Start A Fight'? How about a 7-day wait period on buying Congressmen? How about Taming Tigers by Claude Tibbits How can men be so juvenile?? How badly do you want it ? How can you tell when you are out of invisable ink? How can you tell when a salesman is lying? When his lips are moving How can you spot lying politicians? Their lips move How am I supposed to be creative with 40 year old rebuilt engines? How come CAT'S never land on their FEET when I play with em' ? How dare you hit me in the head! You know I'm not normal! How come pizza gets to your house faster than the Federation!? How come Mr. Moderator hasn't flamed me yet? How can you tell if a blond writes mysteries? She has a checkbook How can you work when the system's so crowded? How come the artificial horizon shows a little plane upside down? How am I driving? --- 1-800-EAT-SHIT How can I love you if you won't lie down? - M. Aniac How did Ed McMahon get MY home address? How about a slice of life, how about some human trade? How did I get along WITHOUT DESQview? *Milwaukee, WI How come there's only one Monopolies Commission? How dare you accuse me of being BIOSed! How about some music? Banjo Man How a blond becomes more intelligent: dyes her hair Brunette How about *them* apples? - M. Nesmith, HEAD How can I prove I'm not crazy to people who are? How an engineer writes a program: Start by debugging an empty file How about a tip? No messages in the recipes echo How about a braile nympho? How can you taste my wine til you empty your cup? How come only your friends step on your new white sneakers? How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up? How am I driving? Call 1-800-TAG-LINE How about a Catwoman/Dennis Bowers Cross-over? How did Bill and Hillary meet in college? By dating the same woman How could you plow under your major crop? Whats a crop? How brave you are. We'll see how fast you'll be running. -- Amos How a caveman took a wife. How deep is that ocean? About that deep! How come they don't show boobs? huh huh huh - Butthead How come a wrong number is never busy? How are our rather quarrelsome guests? Picard How can I miss you if you won't go away How about a big hug? -- Q How To Beat A Murder Rap: Scott Free How come they call 'em APARTments when they're attached? How can you be so near and not see everything? - 10K Maniacs How could I write Col. Wojohowitz in hieroglyphics? -- Al How did the blond kill the bird? Threw it off a cliff How can I challenge myself when I know I'm only bluffing? How come you can send sounds using MIME? How can I escape its irresistable grasp? - Pink Floyd How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police? How can you add one to infinity? How about... I'm not getting old - I'm just chronologically challenged How can I love you if you won't lie down? How can I be 50+, I still like rock 'n roll! How can you be in two places at once, you're nowhere? How did Bill and Hillary meet? They were dating the same man [End Tags] --------------------------------------------------- Message sent by SqTool version 12 --- SQtools * Origin: -GG/W18- (2:313/37.79) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F4500002 Date: 04/03/98 From: GOTTFRIED GIDALY Time: 10:10pm \/To: ALL (Read 2 times) Subj: Taglines --------------------------------------------------- [Begin Tags] How come pizza gets to your home faster than the police? How about punishing the makeup people? Crow T. Robot How a REAL programmer works: COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE How brave you are. We'll see how fast you'll be running - Tori Amos How can there be self-help `groups'? Stephen Wright How can you make a spacesuit look like evening wear? * Lister's Conf How about your very own Harlan Ellison? - Freakaziod How about a little light, Margaret? - Trapper How did Wicket cross the road? Ewok-D! How about "Complete Idiot's Guide to Moderating."? :-} How can I prove my sanity to people who have none? How come DOS never says "excellent command or file name"? How did Zen Monk order a hot dog? "One with everything." How brave you are. We'll see how fast you'll be running - Drow Mage How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks! How can wrestling refs miss so many illegal holds? How did @TO@ get into my tagline? How about you, Doctor? Are you ready? -- Paris How can the give it to Rojet? O'Brien How come Cat Food doesn't come in BUTT Flavor? How can I get Hillary to manage MY commodities account? How did Debra Winger way to Hollywood? How To Steal A $1,000,000 NanoBucks...Email: Unahacker@anonymous.net How could anything alter reality for $9.95? How can you apologize to the dead? How come I can never find Troi when I'm angry at her? How about if we surround the White House and play loud rock and roll? How come Call Waiting doesn't? How did John Bobbitt pay for his medical bills? Through severance pay How about a little sugar for the Todd Monster? - Joel How convenient. - Nurse Chapel How come my taglines are funny, but yours STINK? How about *that* Mr. Fung? - Sheck How am I looking? I'm looking better than nice! * Cat How better else to spend a weekend? How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all? How come pizza reaches your door faster than the police How about punishing the makeup people? - Crow How about Barclay as director of the Ministry of Silly Walks? How about sucking in your shoulders? - Hawkeye to Trapper How are you today? Fine--I'm feeling very gruntled How come our cat runs the house but pays no bills? How did I get here, and WHO are YOU??? How about a search on fools and wisdom? How about a little fire, Scarecrow? Crow T. Robot How could I leave this behind? How about some from Video Girl Ai? Or Kimagure Orange road? How come my cats run the house but pay no bills? How can you tell when sour cream goes bad? How can you tell when yogurt goes bad? How about you buy me a water? - Garibaldi How alike are the groans of love to those of the dying How come FLAMMABLE and INFLAMMABLE mean the same thing? How am I supposed to know what a rhetorical question is? How come they made up all the rules before I got here? How can you say that, you're not dead! How did BattleMechs get into this dungeon? How could this much fun be legal? hehe How can I backup my hard drive? I can't find it's *!@$ reverse switch! How can you support all of that weight out of the water? How can you take seriously a machine controlled by a mouse? How can I convince you I am mortal? - Q DIE! - Worf How can you respect a machine controlled by a mouse? How come we drive on parkways & park on driveways? How come the AT&T symbol looks like the Death Star How did I get here from there? How can I ever thank you enough? Well, you can't How did a fool and his money get together anyway? How about a tip? - Yakko Don't eat lead. - Flaxseed How about that Schumacher, eh! How close are you going to it? Point blank range How could your ear wax poetic? How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her How deep is the ocean? How did the "Keep off the Grass" sign get in the yard? How come this jacket they gave me doesn't have sleeves? How a little love and good company improves a woman! How can Superman pursue truth, justice, and the American Way at once? How come women don't write freeware? How We Got to Bethlehem - by Don Keys How come I always get to be at the bottom of the page? How about a nice game of chess? How dear of you to let me out of jail. Katharine Hepburn How come sleeping dragons never tell the truth? How dare you presume I'd rather be thin How about... I'm not old - I'm just chronically challenged? How about some Roger Waters taglines? How about a Fish Finder How can I prove it to you? Die! How can you be in two places at once, when you're nowhere How about a 14 day waiting period for buying Congressmen? How could it profit us to harm the captain? Thelev How can you forget me? I'm unforgetabeble! - The Cat How can a chemical substance provide an escape? Wesley Crusher How appropriate. You fight like a cow How can I soar like an eagle when I'm surrounded by turkeys? How can I be dead? I had 20 hit points. An arrow can do 8, max How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving How about I buy you a drink? - Dodger How awkward! Jay Sherman [End Tags] --------------------------------------------------- Message sent by SqTool version 12 --- SQtools * Origin: -GG/W18- (2:313/37.79) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F4500003 Date: 04/03/98 From: GOTTFRIED GIDALY Time: 10:13pm \/To: ALL (Read 2 times) Subj: Taglines --------------------------------------------------- [Begin Tags] How can anybody be enlightened? Truth is after all so poorly lit How can you be so deaf with those huge ears? How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves? Fell out of the tree How dare you presume that I'm heterosexual! How about an Appolo Juice with extra bubbles? How dare you come in and defile my secret domain?!? -Charles How come dictionaries don't have indexes? How can it be? Oh dainty duck! Oh dear! * Shakespeare How did Superman find out he was bulletproof? How come a 10-year old kid finds a dope pusher and the FBI can't? How come only the most sensible people agree with us? How can you buy or sell the sky, the warmth of the land? How can I make this a tagline-oriented message? Got any taglines How can I disprove lies that are stamped with an official seal?"--FM How could you turn me into this after you just taught me how to kiss How can it be described in one line or less? How can I fix it if I can't make it break? How come I get all the hard questions? - O. North How can you say that you wish you were Italian? How can I learn from my misteaks? I never make any! How bad do you want it? Not bad enough. - Don Henley How could this sort of thing _possibly_ happen?! - Bashir How come the pizza dude gets to your house faster than the police? How can I miss you if you don't go away? How can an 8 year old boy be a threat to national security?"-FM 1x04 How bad is it? - Kirk How d'you do, I see you've met my...faithful handyman How did I know we'd wind up talking about sex??? How can I take an interest in my work when I don't like it? How could I be out of money? I still have checks How did a fool and his money get together in the first place? How come Windows finds General Protection Fault - but not his army? How am I supposed to be creative with a 39 year old rebuilt engine? How big does that music make it sound? Tom Servo How are you getting on with your Stylophone? How did Noddians spell their land, if their alphabet had "no D"? How can you be so deaf with such huge ears? How am I supposed to beg, with all that pressure? How can I prove I am not crazy to people who are? How about a helicopter with an ejection seat? How did BEN SANSING get into my tagline? How come smoking cures bacon but kills people? How can you tell a happy sperm ? Egg on its face ! How can you make a Violin sound more like a Viola? Miss a lot of notes How can I be out of money if I still have these checks? How about some more "KEY" Tags? How come nowadays the word "honesty" is generally preceded by the phrase "old-fashioned" ? How clean you are! How can you tell when you have run out of invisible ink? How can the water endure it? What sky have the stones dreamed?(Pablo Ner How about washing his underwear in jalapena pepper juice? How did YOU get on the other side of the SCREEN? How about a bit of warming up? -- White Flame How come Bill never speaks when Hillary's drinking water? How can I concentrate with a enemy cloak ship hidden on my Home World? How about Cargo Bay 2? Kim How come the registration section never has a bug? How can we have a fuel problem when we haven't got any? How come the greatest of shows air on the lamest of stations? How are Clinton & JFK alike? Neither has had any brains for 30 years! How can I fly Like an Eagle, when I'm surrounded by Turkeys? How come the Death Star looks like the AT&T logo? How about something a little less severe? - Col. Potter How To Tune Up Your Auto: Carl Humm How about some jalapena peppers in your peanut butter? How did the Wicked Witch of the West take a bath? How To Make Cornmeal Pancakes: Johnny Cake How are an Amiga and a Skoda similar. They both break down frequently How could something that took that much work only last 10 minutes How could I forget you...you're too weird How convieeeeeeent! How can you say that the Martians are coming? How am I ever going to decide? - Tom on freezers How did How about them apples How could Brigham Young be against sex? How could she? You are a Changeling. Changeling How are you supposed to...? Jake You'll get the hang of it. Ben How about that ... local sports team!? -- Monty Burns to his workers How could you...I'm a woman! - Catwoman, BATMAN RETURNS How could they possibly have Federation technology? Janeway How can you tell when Clinton's lying? His mouth's open! How deep is the valley? How come my clock only makes 'toc's? Tom asked mystically How did the guy inventing cottage cheese know it was done? How can you taste my wine until you empty your cup? How about a tip? - Yakko No messages in the TAGLINES echo How did Bill and Hillary meet? They dated the same woman! How about a anti-dog owner? How come OUR automatic doors are quieter than Enterprise? How about 'Biggles Combs His Hair'? How can a chemical substance provide an escape? -- Wesley How could I be mad at such an April-fresh bundle of snuggly goodness? How come I see so many blondes who die their roots black? How can you tell when sour cream has gone bad? How did the Marine try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff How bout them Cowboys! SuperBowl XXVII & XXVIII How can I prove to you that I *AM* mortal? - Q DIE - Worf How can you expect to soar with dragons if you haven't seen Gargoyles? How bizarre, how bizarre [End Tags] --------------------------------------------------- Message sent by SqTool version 12 --- SQtools * Origin: -GG/W18- (2:313/37.79) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F4500004 Date: 04/03/98 From: GOTTFRIED GIDALY Time: 10:16pm \/To: ALL (Read 2 times) Subj: Taglines