--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F1X00007 Date: 01/27/98 From: OLIVIER COLLARD Time: 08:33am \/To: ALL (Read 2 times) Subj: bitch.txt Salut All, == Begin [bitch.txt] ==== "But I believe in peace, bitch" "Life's a bitch, and life's got lots of sisters." ((((((((((((((((I'm A BITCH)))))))))))))))) 51% Angel ..... 49% bitch.. So don't push me! 51% Bitch, 49% Sweetheart - Don't Push your luck... 51% Sweetheart. 49% Bitch. Don't Push Me. A slut does everyone, whilst a bitch does everyone but you! Being a bitch is a tough job, But someone's got-a do it! BITCH! -+-Oh, excuse me... Ms. Bitch BITCH(n):woman who speaks her mind & isn't a horny bimbo. BITCH- (B)eing (I)n (T)otal (C)ontrol, (H)oney! BITCH--Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented and Charming Human being!! BITCH: Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented & Horny BITCH: Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Charming and Horny. C'mon you gruesome son of a bitch. Come and get me. Elitist Bitch Club....only Goddesses need apply! Even certified pushy feminist bitches have their weak moments. Guess what, kid...life's a bitch and so am I. I can go from zero to bitch in 2.1 seconds! I don't have PMS, I'm really a BITCH!! I have PMS and ESP. I'm a bitch that knows everything. If I didn't bitch, who would? If life's a bitch, why aren't women in charge? It's a bitch being God. But it beats working. It's Not PMS. I'm Always Bitchy! Life is a bitch. Then your tits sag. And THEN you die! Life's a Bitch ... and she's using a spiked dildo. Life's a BITCH and so am I, so get the hell outta my way! Life's a bitch and then Bwave eats your mail packet. Life's a bitch and then you die! Life's a bitch, but some of the puppies are cute ... Life's a bitch, then you have to deal with The Phone Co.! Life's a bitch, time's a bastard, and death finishes it. Life's a bitch. Then you marry one. Then you die. Life's a virgin. A bitch is too easy...! Mother Nature is a Bitch. My inner child is a sick little bitch! My inner child is also a twisted little bitch! Never annoy a woman when she's bitchy. Or in a good mood. Only a bastard like him could love a bitch like me. Only a bitch like me could love a bastard like him. Party like a bitch from hell! She doesn't have PMS, she really IS a bitch! She's a real Bitch! No, she's just in heat. The biker chick's mating call: - "Is that blonde bitch gone yet?" Woman with PMS & ESP: Bitch who knows everything! == End [bitch.txt] ==== Olivier. ___ STGtag 2.00.Alpha2+ _NEW_ ... Famous Last Words #49: "Let's not worry about that now..." --- GoldED/386 3.00.Beta2+ * Origin: Olivier Collard, STGsoft Headquarters, Charleroi B (2:293/3219) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F1X00008 Date: 01/27/98 From: OLIVIER COLLARD Time: 08:33am \/To: CHRISTER TJERNQVIST (Read 2 times) Subj: Re: STGtag catalogue Salut Christer, Le 26 Jan 98 00:16, Christer Tjernqvist crivait Olivier Collard: CT> I'm a bit slow... But can you post these taglines for me, please? OC>> #insult.txt 007.txt babylon5.txt beer.txt bitch.txt Ok, I just posted the first line today. OC>> borg.txt calvin_h.txt combat.txt confuciu.txt cow.txt OC>> dontsay.txt highland.txt homos&bi.txt insult.txt kungfu.txt OC>> mama.txt moderat.txt monty_p.txt murphy.txt pickup.txt OC>> pms.txt sex2.txt sexwar.txt sex.txt OC>> simpson.txt x-files.txt But you'll have to wait a bit for the next ones... CT> Or email 'em to me; CT> tjernkraft@bigfoot.com I can't or my local fido-InterNet gateway manager will kill me for sure ;) Olivier. ___ STGtag 2.00.Alpha2+ _NEW_ ... Le coeur peroit ce que l'oeil ne peut voir. --- GoldED/386 3.00.Beta2+ * Origin: Olivier Collard, STGsoft Headquarters, Charleroi B (2:293/3219) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F1Y00000 Date: 01/26/98 From: LUKE FISCHER Time: 08:05pm \/To: CARL ELPHICK (Read 2 times) Subj: Klingon Taglines -=> Quoting Carl Elphick to Luke Fischer <=- CE> Don't call me dumb but is there another series of Star Trek called CE> Klingon? I have only seen TNG, DS9 and Voyager. No... :) I just want some tags that people have made of Klingon things. People in the Klingon echo are talking, they want a series of Klingons, it might be neat. hehe -=/\=- -=/\=- -=/\=- -=/\=- -=/\=- -=/\=- -=/\=- -=/\=- -=/\=- Luke Fischer Rom-Tom@Juno.com SysOp of Dragon's Lair members.aol.com/admshuni FedSimFleet JOIN! ST-FSF@Juno.com ... Treknology: Lore was just a Data beta. --- Blue Wave/TAG v2.20 [NR] * Origin: Ham-Net BBS (315)682-1824 * TAG Alpha * Node 1 (1:260/375) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F1Y00001 Date: 01/28/98 From: HEATHER LENNOX Time: 04:41pm \/To: PATRICK BASISTER (Read 2 times) Subj: T-Matic /!Generate While getting drunk, Patrick Basister poured off his chair and said to me: T-Matic /!Generate PB> good use. Anyway, here's your key: 459661269. Just place it in the PB> T-MATIC file and enjoy. :-) It's ok! Simon gave me the key. PB> (Just trying to help out) :-) Much thanks though... Seeya... * AmyBW v2.14 * ... "Feather #2 and when you get time, coffee black". --- Renegade v5-11 Exp * Origin: Sidewinder! Your Military Info BBS. 649-267-3546 (3:772/210) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F1Y00002 Date: 01/28/98 From: SUE HALDANE Time: 10:58am \/To: ALL (Read 2 times) Subj: Chelsea & Dad "Chelsea's an only child cuz her dad can't be 2 places at once!!" M.O.TL. = sh.... --- TriToss (tm) 1.03 - (Unregistered) * Origin: Ivy's WALL BBS - Sheboygan, WI 920-457-9255 (1:154/170) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F1Y00003 Date: 01/29/98 From: ROB HILDITCH Time: 12:03pm \/To: HEATHER LENNOX (Read 2 times) Subj: T-Matic /!Generate G'day Heather ! 26-Jan-98 14:38:46, Heather Lennox wrote to Simon Avery Subject: Tag-O-Matic /!Generate HL> While getting drunk, Simon Avery poured off his chair and said to me: SA>> Enter this in your T-MATIC.CFG SA>> RegCode=439661269 HL> Right! Done it! Will see what happens when I next use Tag-O-Matic. I'm HL> my pet Amiga at this moment to test out a new OLR called AmyBW. Seems HL> sweet. Appears to be better than Q-Blue. AmyBW is much nicer than Qblue, but the ultimate is SPOT it is point software for the Amiga and is better than anything I have seen on any platform. I am now using Terminate on a PC it is ok but nowhere near as nice as Spot :( HL> Much thanks for your help. HL> I'm over here :) ... DSR: Detonate Status Register ~~~ Tag-O-Matic V.13 (14478 Taglines) Owned by Rob Hilditch --- Terminate 5.00/Pro robby@ace.net.au robby@picknowl.com.au * Origin: Rob's Place (3:800/469) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F1Y00004 Date: 01/28/98 From: OLIVIER COLLARD Time: 08:23am \/To: ALL (Read 2 times) Subj: cow.txt Salut All, == Begin [cow.txt] ==== . Wreck the malls with cows on Harleys. . * <- Tribble * <- Cowboy Tribble with lariat 3 Game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow. @TO@ crushes grape jelly in her neck until the cows come home. @TO@ crushes grape jelly in his neck until the cows come home. @TO@, CowTipping Conference Moderator A cow eats without a knife. A cowchip is paradise to a fly! A priest gets defrocked; does a farmer get uncowed? A self-made man? Yes - and worships his creator. - Cowper (1731-1800) A steak a day keeps the cows dead. A Texas bisexual is a cowboy who likes cattle & sheep. AFFIRMATIVE ACTION(n): B&W cows eat green grass, give white milk. All I ever do is milk this damn cow, Tom uttered continuously. All we like sheep - and cows are pretty nice too Amish safe sex: Painting an X on the cows that kick. An udder failure: Cow that doesn't give milk. And pulling back on the stick makes the cows smaller. And they robbed his evil cow. Are RAM chips better than COW chips? Hmmm, it depends. Aren't you glad that cows don't fly? As Gandhi once said, Holy Cow! BART (Brat'us Don'thaveacow'us) Beef up your life.... Have a cow, Man! Bovilexia: The urge to yell 'Moo!' every time you pass a cow. Boy, that Data is slicker than cow snot! - Guinan Brought to you by the Cowlifornia Milk Cooperatives But my sysop doesn't carry the cow-tipping conference! But the cow CHIP is organic. Cow hearing his master's voice. Cow Miscarrys, now is Decaffinated! Cow pats: pioneer frisbees. Cow tag: This tag line is udderly ridiculous. Cow Tipping; Is that when you give your waiter a steak? Cow with 2 legs missing = Lean Beef. Cow's breath attracts mosquitoes and tsetse flies! Cow: A machine that makes grass palatable for humans. Cowa Bunga, Dude. Cowabunga I'll take the Marshmallow pizza Cowboy Mike's Original Red Hot Ricochet Barbecue Sauce! Cowboy Neal was at the wheel of the bus to never-ever land CowboyDos 4.0 - What the hell kinda command was THAT, pardner? CowboyDos 4.1 - up ope ead 'em up and ove 'em out! Cowboys ain't easy to love. Cowboys DO IT in herds. Cowboys DO IT on a horse. Cowboys DO IT with cowpokes. Cowboys DO IT with spurs on. Cowboys handle anything horny. Cowboys stay in the saddle longer. COWGIRLS like to ride bareback. Cows are sacred in India, in the US we have the homeless. Cows DO IT in leather. Cows DO IT udderly. Cows have lousy job security. Cows in orbit: The herd shot around the world CowTipping Conference Moderator Cross a Cow with a chicken and you get EggNog! Debunk: Where de cowboy sleeps, usually in debunk house. Decalfinated: Cow who just had an abortion. Deja moo: I've seen that cow before. Deja moo: nagging feeling you've milked this cow before. Deja Moo: the feeling that there's been a cow there before. DERANGE: A place where de cowboys ride. Do brown cows give chocolate milk? Do you suppose cows say Hey, don't have a Joe!? Does anyone carry the cow-tipping conference? Does homo milk come from Gay cows? Does instant milk come from powdered cows? Don't have a cow, man! Try a moose instead! Dopefish are cool. They're like cows. Enraged cow injures farmer with ax. Everyone as they loveth, some people kiss cows. For sale: 1 ceramic cow skull - actual size, very real looking $15. GAY RANCHERO: A cowhand who rides sidesaddle. Getting kicked in the nads by a cow sucks! - Beavis Ground Beef - A Cow With No Legs! Happy as a hog eating cow manure - well lick my lips! Harriet, the cows are smoking again... - Joel Robinson He bellows like a cow standing on her tit. He's like a cow that goes dry - udder failure. Headline: Enraged Cow Goes After Unsuspecting Farmer With Gun. Headline: Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax Heather: Get drunk and tip cows. Hey @TOFIRST@, you comin' with us cow tippin' or what? Holy cow! That's a big family! - Mike Nelson Holy cow! This IS my cat! How many wings does a cow have? -Tacky the Penguin How much do you tip a cow anyway? Howdy Rush! Tripple cow-pie dittos from Inbred, Alabama! I ain't a real cowboy, but I'm one helluva stud. Jon Voight I am Bart of Borg: Don't assimilate a cow, man! I know about cow patties. I like milk because it comes from cows. I love cows! I milk cows, said Tom moodily. I see a Sacred Cow and BANG - I think - Hamburger! I was thirteen before I realized cows weren't blurry. I'd rather dance with the cows til you came home.- Groucho Marx I'd rather suck a cow's udders than play the bagpipes. I'll go crush grape jelly in my neck until the cows come home I'll mangle metaphors until the cows come home to roost! I'll mix metaphors until the cows come home to roost! I'm a cowboy ... on a steel horse I ride! I'm building up my problems to the size of a cow! - Miles I'm goin' down to Cowtown...(Dallas) I'm going to see the cow beneath the sea. I'm not really a cowboy. I just found the hat. I've seen little cows. They haven't got eyelashes. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? If cows could fly, everyone would carry an umbrella. If cows could fly, you'd appreciate seagulls. If COWS have HORNS why do they MOO instead of HONK? If your cow doesn't give milk dairy farming just isn't for you! Indians worship the cow. You worship an ass - yourself! Is the last cow on earth the utter udder? It doesn't matter how much milk you spill, just don't lose the cow. It was so cold the cows gave ice cream. It's a cow!, he uttered. It's time to let you babies grow up to be cowboys. Its a cow!, he uttered. Just me and you...we could bill and cow...no...bull and cow.- Groucho Leather is waterproof - ever see a cow with an umbrella? Like a cow in tall grass, I'm udderly tickled to be here. Looks like a fish, moves like a fish, steers like a cow. Lumpiest couple of cowboys I've ever seen. - Crow T. Robot Make like a cow and mooo-ve. Make like a cow pie and hit the trail. Manure comes from a bull. Womanure comes from a cow. Me boom-boom cow long time! - J.Mirolli MOM'S HINT #334: Let them play cowboy. Mommas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys. Mountain cows! Nothing scarier! - Crow T. Robot Move Bossy! Sorry ma'am, thought I was walkin around a cow. Murphy Brown had a baby, Dan Quayl had a cowe. My cow aborted, now she is decalfinated. My cow died so I don't need your bull anymore. My every path is shrewn with cowpats from the devil's own satanic herd. My heroes have always been cowboys. My Heros did not kill Indians, they killed Cowboys! My heros have always killed cowboys. My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore. My only cow died, so I don't need your bull. Never do the achy-breaky with a fat woman in cowboy boots No matter how you dress a cow, it still gives milk ! Obey the COWGOD! Oh! To be an Interface Cowboy in Hyperspace.!!! Pigs can fly, cows go baaaa, and Nuclear Power is *safe*? Q. What do you call a three-legged cow? A. Lean beef. Ranchers do it with cows and sheep. Ride 'em cowgirl! Heeeeeeeee Haaaaaaaaaaaaw! Sacred cows make good hamburgers! Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger. - Abbie Hoffman Should I put the cow on the catapult now? so cold the cows gave ice cream. So hot the brown cow gave hot chocolate. Some people call me the Space Cowboy Spent the afternoon flinging cow flop frisbees. Steers don't grow up to be cow boys. Stick to your talent and the cows will be well tended. The Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don't. The cow ate bluegrass and mooed indigo. The Cow Blew Up on the Launching Pad. The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for human use. The cow is now a widow, because you shot the bull. The heart of a cow can never be put down my throat. The life and times of Lulu, Mrs. O'Leary's ill-fated cow.-G Larson The purple cows just left! And they took my sanity! The sacred cows have come home to roost with a vengeance. Three game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow. To keep your milk sweet, leave it in the cow. URA Redneck if you think cow tipping should be an Olympic sport. URA Redneck If you've ever worn a cowboy hat to church. Usenet is mad at the cows. Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. Welcome to the 1st annual cow toss and bug eating contest. What the gods get away with, the cows don't. When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses? When NT catches on, cows will fly. - Dvorak, April 1994 Where are the cowboys? I was promised cowboys! - Bashir Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Yo'momma can wrestle a cow to the ground. Yo'momma so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 95." Yo'momma so ugly I've seen cow pies I'd rather do it with. You hairdressing little cowpokes! - Mike Nelson == End [cow.txt] ==== Olivier. ___ STGtag 2.00.Alpha2+ _NEW_ ... How much must we practice sex before it is safe? --- GoldED/386 3.00.Beta2+ * Origin: Olivier Collard, STGsoft Headquarters, Charleroi B (2:293/3219) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F1Y00005 Date: 01/28/98 From: OLIVIER COLLARD Time: 08:24am \/To: ALL (Read 2 times) Subj: confuciu.txt Salut All, == Begin [confuciu.txt] ==== CONFUCIUS SAY: A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose. CONFUCIUS SAY: A girl's best asset is her 'lie-ability. CONFUCIUS SAY: A man with hands in pockets feels foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts. CONFUCIUS SAY: All blonde not blonde, by cracky. CONFUCIUS SAY: All men eat, but Fu Manchu. CONFUCIUS SAY: America Good Place to Put Chinese Restuarant. CONFUCIUS SAY: Australia Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant. CONFUCIUS SAY: Baby conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard. CONFUCIUS SAY: Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard. CONFUCIUS SAY: Baby ill-conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard. CONFUCIUS SAY: Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!! CONFUCIUS SAY: Baseball wrong . . . man with four balls cannot walk! CONFUCIUS SAY: Before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter. CONFUCIUS SAY: Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk. CONFUCIUS SAY: Better to be pissed off than pissed on. CONFUCIUS SAY: Better to sleep with chicken than choke it. CONFUCIUS SAY: Bike don't run by itself, it too tired. CONFUCIUS SAY: Bird in hand makes it hard to blow nose. CONFUCIUS SAY: Blonde who fly upside down have crack up. CONFUCIUS SAY: Boy and girl who go camping together have naughty intent. CONFUCIUS SAY: Boy and girl who go camping together sure to have naughty intent. CONFUCIUS SAY: Boy fool with girl in wrong period get caught red handed. CONFUCIUS SAY: Boy who diddle little girl do diddly squat. CONFUCIUS SAY: Boy who play with himself pulls boner. CONFUCIUS SAY: Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand. CONFUCIUS SAY: Boy with hole in pocket feel cocky all day. CONFUCIUS SAY: Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders. CONFUCIUS SAY: Cat who walk on keyboard wind up in Chinese wok! CONFUCIUS SAY: Chemist who fall in acid get absorbed in work. CONFUCIUS SAY: Crowded elevator smell different to midget. CONFUCIUS SAY: Do unto others what you think is funny. CONFUCIUS SAY: Don't drink and park, accidents cause people. CONFUCIUS SAY: Don't quote me with stupid accent. CONFUCIUS SAY: Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, smart man spread limb. CONFUCIUS SAY: Elevator smell different to midget. CONFUCIUS SAY: Even greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert. CONFUCIUS SAY: Exotic dancer get appluase, call girl just get clap. CONFUCIUS SAY: Find old man in dark, not hard! CONFUCIUS SAY: Fly who sit on toilet rim get pissed off. CONFUCIUS SAY: Fly who sit on toilet seat get pissed off. CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl at bachelor pad for snack get tit-bit. CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy. CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl who douche with vinegar walk around with sour pussy. CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl who fly upside down have crack up. CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl who go to bachelor pad for snack get tit-bit. CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl who is wallflower at party is dandelion in bed. CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl who lay on ground have piece on earth. CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl who marry detective must kiss dick. CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl who sit on brother-in-law's knee, make hard for sister. CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl who sit on jockey's knee gets hot tip. CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl who slides down banister nude gets splinters, by crackey! CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl with back to fire warming whole of her body. CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl with little red bike peddle ass all over town! CONFUCIUS SAY: Girl's best asset is her `lie'-ability. CONFUCIUS SAY: Girls should not marry basketball players--they dribble before they shoot. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who chases car will get exhausted. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who crosses ocean twice without washing is dirty double crosser. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who dies with most taglines wins. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who eat cookies in bed will wake up feeling crumby. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who eat too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who eat ice cream in car is a sundae driver. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who fart in church sit in own pew. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who fishes in another man's well often catches crabs. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who let woman on top is fucking up. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who masturbate in front of cash register come into money. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who outrun cheetah is fucking fast on his feet! CONFUCIUS SAY: He who outrun cheetah is very fast on his feet! CONFUCIUS SAY: He who pass gas in church sit in own pew. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who pull out too fast leave rubber behind. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who puts face in punch bowl get punch in nose. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who rapes a man's daughter, draws and quarters his son, and buries his wife alive in an anthill should not exp CONFUCIUS SAY: He who refuses to listen is lying. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who sit on upturned tack shall surely rise. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who sniffs Coke drowns. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who stand on toilet is high on pot. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who stands in corner with hands in pocket doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who stands in corner with hands in pocket feels nuts. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who stands on toilet seat is high on pot, and he who sniffs Coke drowns. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who stick head in open window get pane in neck. CONFUCIUS SAY: He who stick head in oven gets baked bean. CONFUCIUS SAY: He with no taglines is deprived. CONFUCIUS SAY: Hockey player on ice have big stick. CONFUCIUS SAY: House without toilet is uncanny. CONFUCIUS SAY: I didn't say that! CONFUCIUS SAY: If chain still swinging, seat will be warm. CONFUCIUS SAY: If you park, don't drinkaccidents cause people. CONFUCIUS SAY: If you turn oriental around, he become disoriented. CONFUCIUS SAY: If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient. CONFUCIUS SAY: Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy. CONFUCIUS SAY: Is good for girl to meet boy but better for boy to meat girl. CONFUCIUS SAY: Is stuffy inside fortune cookie. CONFUCIUS SAY: It take square ass to s*** a brick. CONFUCIUS SAY: It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. CONFUCIUS SAY: It take a lot of balls to make a football team. CONFUCIUS SAY: It's okay to meet girl in park, much better to park meat in girl! CONFUCIUS SAY: Janitor who clean by day clean bidet today. CONFUCIUS SAY: Keeping it in family sure sound incestuous. CONFUCIUS SAY: Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing. CONFUCIUS SAY: Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent. CONFUCIUS SAY: Lady who live in glass house, dress in basement! CONFUCIUS SAY: Man and mouse alike, both end up in pussy. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole woman have more. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man kicked in testicles is left holding bags. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man piss in wind, wind piss back. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man should never straddle barbed wire fences. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man that has sex with hole in ground has piece (peace) on earth. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man trapped in pantry have butt in jam. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man trapped in sewer eat s*** and die. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man trapped in whorehouse get jerked around. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who abuse computer get bad bytes! CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who argue with wife all day get no peace (piece) at night. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who bounce woman on bed spring this spring have offspring next spring. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who buy drowned cat must pay for stinking wet pussy. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who chase cars get exhausted. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who drive like hell bound to get there! CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who eats photo of father soon spitting image of father. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who fall in vat of molten optical glass make spectacle of self. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who fart in church sit in own pew. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who fight with wife all day get no piece (peace) at night! CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who finger girl having period may get caught red handed. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who fly upside-down have crack up. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who fly plane upside down have crack up. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who get hit by car get that run down feeling. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who get paid pick up chick. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who go to bed with diarrhea wake up in deep shit. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with smelly finger. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who go out with flat chested woman feel shallow. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who has hand down mans pants, not feeling himself today. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who has woman on ground has peace (piece) on earth. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who have circumcision lose a bit of foresight. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who is jacking into a peanut butter jar is fucking nuts. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who jump through screen door likely to strain himself. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who jump through window screen, strain self. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who kisses girl's behind gets crack in face. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who lay girl on hill not on level. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who lay woman on ground have peace (piece) on earth. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who lifts stones off woman get rocks off. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who live in glass house should dress in basement. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who live in glass house with no basement, stinks! CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who lose key to apartment not get new key. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new key. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who lose key to girlfriend's house get no new key. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who marries girl with no bust has right to feel low down. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who masturbate into cash register soon come into money. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who masturbate only screwing himself. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who meows ate pussy. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who mess with steamroller flat out lose! CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who paint toilet not necessarily shithouse painter! CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who polish knob play pocket pool. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who pull out too fast leave rubber. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who pull out too soon get hit in rear end. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who pushes piano down mine shaft get A flat miner. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who put cock on stove have hot rod. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who put cream in tart not really a baker. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who put face in punchbowl get punch in nose. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who put foot in mouth get athlete's tongue. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who put hand in pocket feels cocky all day. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who put head in dryer bound to get sock in mouth. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who put rooster in freezer overnight have frozen cock. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who read woman like book prefer braille! CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who run behind car get exhausted. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who runs behind car gets exhausted. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who scratch butt should not bite fingernails. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who screw girl on hillside not on level. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who screws near graveyard is fucking near dead. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who sit on hot stove will rise again. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who sit on tack get point. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who sleep in cathouse by day sleep in doghouse by night. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who sleep with old hen finds it's better than pullet. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who smoke pot choke on handle. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who snatch kiss when young kiss snatch when old. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own ands. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who stand on toilet high on pot! CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who stands on toilet seat is high on pot. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who step in it often say it. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who stick face in punchbowl get punch in nose. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who suck nipples make clean breast of things. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who suck tit get bust in mouth. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who take lady on camping trip have one intent. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out! CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who walk middle of road get run over by bus. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to angkok. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man who walk through door sideways is going to Bangkok. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man with athletic finger make broad jump. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man with athletic fingers make broad jump. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man with forked tongue not need chop sticks. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man with hand in bush not necessarily trimming shrubs. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man with hand in pocket having a ball. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man with hands in pockets feel cocky. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man with hole in both pockets not feel too cocky. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man with holes in pockets feels nuts. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man with no legs bums around. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man with one chopstick go hungry. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man with tool in woman's mouth not necessarily a dentist. CONFUCIUS SAY: Man with unchecked parachute jump to conclusion. CONFUCIUS SAY: Many men smoke but Fu Manchu. CONFUCIUS SAY: Men who put cream in tart not necessarily bakers. CONFUCIUS SAY: Never eat yellow snow. CONFUCIUS SAY: Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed. CONFUCIUS SAY: Never trust men with short legs, brains too near bottom. CONFUCIUS SAY: Never trust woman who uses phrase eager beaver. CONFUCIUS SAY: No difference between man and mouse, both end up in pussy. CONFUCIUS SAY: Nothing, because he's dead! CONFUCIUS SAY: Okay for s*** to happen, will decompose. CONFUCIUS SAY: Okay for schoolboy to masturbate long as not against rincipal. CONFUCIUS SAY: Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it. CONFUCIUS SAY: Passionate kiss like spider web, lead to undoing of fly. CONFUCIUS SAY: Pentecostal who pass out get laid in church. CONFUCIUS SAY: People having gift for gab know not how to wrap it up. CONFUCIUS SAY: People who quote me are fools! CONFUCIUS SAY: Preserve wildlife, pickle a hedgehog. CONFUCIUS SAY: Put rooster in freezer to get stiff cock. CONFUCIUS SAY: Quit quoting me, you blubbering twit! CONFUCIUS SAY: Rape no good, woman run faster with dress up, than man can with pants down. CONFUCIUS SAY: Ring on her finger = ring in your nose. CONFUCIUS SAY: Rook before you reap! CONFUCIUS SAY: Sailor who gets discharged from navy leave buddies behind. CONFUCIUS SAY: Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk. CONFUCIUS SAY: Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on desk. CONFUCIUS SAY: Secretary not permanent till screwed on desk. CONFUCIUS SAY: Secretary who confuse food processor with word processor, mince words. CONFUCIUS SAY: Show off always shown up in showdown. CONFUCIUS SAY: Small fly on top of big toilet, high on pot! CONFUCIUS SAY: Soldier who goes to bed horny wakes up with discharge in hand. CONFUCIUS SAY: Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts. CONFUCIUS SAY: Stand on toilet, get high on pot. CONFUCIUS SAY: Stop quoting me! CONFUCIUS SAY: Support bacteria, it's the only culture some people have. CONFUCIUS SAY: The early worm has a death wish. CONFUCIUS SAY: There no such thing as rape, woman run faster with skirt up than man with pants down. CONFUCIUS SAY: Those who make love in strawberry patch have butt in jam. CONFUCIUS SAY: Those who quote me are fools. CONFUCIUS SAY: To make egg roll, push it. CONFUCIUS SAY: To prevent hangover, stay drunk. CONFUCIUS SAY: Too damn much! CONFUCIUS SAY: Too darn much! CONFUCIUS SAY: Too goddamn much! CONFUCIUS SAY: Virgin like balloon, one prick, all gone. CONFUCIUS SAY: Virgin with thimble on finger never feel prick. CONFUCIUS SAY: Virginity like balloon, one prick, all gone. CONFUCIUS SAY: Wallflower at party is dandelion in bed. CONFUCIUS SAY: War not determine who's right, war determines who's left. CONFUCIUS SAY: Wash your face in the morning, neck at night. CONFUCIUS SAY: Watched Tandy Never Boots! CONFUCIUS SAY: When baby cry, give bust in face. CONFUCIUS SAY: When in doubt, whip it out. CONFUCIUS SAY: When lady say maybe, she mean yes. CONFUCIUS SAY: When lady say no, she mean maybe. CONFUCIUS SAY: When lady say no, she mean maybe; when lady say maybe, she mean yes; when lady say yes, she no lady. CONFUCIUS SAY: When lady say yes, she no lady. CONFUCIUS SAY: While others are inside sitting down, you will be outstanding. CONFUCIUS SAY: Why did Confucius always speak in English? CONFUCIUS SAY: Why do Chinese philosophers always try to Confucius? CONFUCIUS SAY: Wife for life is better than wife for strife. CONFUCIUS SAY: Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. CONFUCIUS SAY: Wise man never hide in woman's closet after eating baked eans. CONFUCIUS SAY: (With cold) Man who kwitisize moduwator get node bwoke. CONFUCIUS SAY: Women and elephants never forget an injury. CONFUCIUS SAY: Women fake orgasm, men fake foreplay. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman is like jazz music, 3/4 jazz time and 1/4 rag time. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman run faster with skirt up than man with pants down. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman seek equality with man; no ambition. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who cook beans and peas in same pot not good cook. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who cook beans and peas in same pot not sanitary. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who cook beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who cook carrots and peas in same pot not sanitary. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who cook carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make-believe ballroom. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who douche with vinegar have sour puss. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who eat banana get cream in mouth. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who fly plane upside down always has crack up. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who fly plane upside down have crackup. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who fly plane upside down have hairy crack up! CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets tit-bit. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who not practice sex before marriage sentenced to an indeterminate length. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who put detergent on top shelf jump for Joy. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who ride bicycle in city pedal ass all over town. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who shaves legs have no hair, by cracky. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who slide down bannister make monkey shine. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who spend much time on bedspring have offspring. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who springs on springs this spring gets offspring next spring. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who turn back on lover get screwed over. CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman who wear G-string, high on crack! CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman with bleached blonde hair have black hair, by cracky! CONFUCIUS SAY: Woman with cold hands have fire under skirt. == End [confuciu.txt] ==== Olivier. ___ STGtag 2.00.Alpha2+ _NEW_ Ta soeur est tellement nave que quand on lui a dit que les cigognes apportaient les bbs, elle s'est mise une chemine dans sa petite culotte. --- GoldED/386 3.00.Beta2+ * Origin: Olivier Collard, STGsoft Headquarters, Charleroi B (2:293/3219) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F1Y00006 Date: 01/28/98 From: OLIVIER COLLARD Time: 08:24am \/To: ALL (Read 2 times) Subj: combat.txt Salut All, == Begin [combat.txt] ==== Combat: 5 second grenade fuses will burn down in 3 seconds. Combat: All weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather Combat: Always expect your opponent to make his best move. Combat: Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing. Combat: Automatic weapons - aren't. Combat: Don't look conspicuous - it draws fire. Combat: Fortify your front, and you'll get your rear shot up. Combat: Friendly fire - isn't Combat: If it's stupid and it works, it ain't stupid. Combat: If short of everything but enemy, you're in combat zone. Combat: If the enemy can't get in, you can't get out. Combat: If the enemy is within range, then so are you. Combat: If you can't remember, the claymore's pointed towards you Combat: If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush. Combat: If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy. Combat: Incoming fire has the right of way. Combat: Interchangable parts - won't. Combat: Keep it simple, stupid. Combat: Leak proof seals - will. Combat: Military Intelligence can be a contradiction in terms. Combat: Mines are equal opportunity weapons. Combat: Never draw fire - it irritates everyone around you. Combat: Never share a foxhole with someone braver than you. Combat: No battle plan survives contact with the enemy. Combat: No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection. Combat: No inspection-ready unit has ever passed combat. Combat: Organization is the enemy of improvisation. Combat: Peace is our profession - mass murder's just a hobby. Combat: Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support. Combat: Recoilless weapons - aren't. Combat: Remember, your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. Combat: Smart bombs have bad days too. Combat: Suppressive fire - won't. Combat: The best defense is to stay out of range. Combat: The easy way is always mined. Combat: The enemy diversion you're ignoring is the main attack. Combat: The light at the end of the tunnel is a muzzle flash. Combat: The quartermaster has two sizes; too large & too small. Combat: The side with the simplest uniforms, wins. Combat: Tracers work both ways. Combat: Try to look unimportant D the enemy may be low on ammo. Combat: When in doubt - empty your magazine. Combat: You are not Superman. Combat: Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder. == End [combat.txt] ==== Olivier. ___ STGtag 2.00.Alpha2+ _NEW_ ... Famous Last Words #68: "Stand back you wimps - *I'LL* kill it!" --- GoldED/386 3.00.Beta2+ * Origin: Olivier Collard, STGsoft Headquarters, Charleroi B (2:293/3219) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 255 TAGLINES Ref: F1Y00007 Date: 01/28/98 From: OLIVIER COLLARD Time: 08:25am \/To: ALL (Read 2 times) Subj: calvin_h.txt Salut All, == Begin [calvin_h.txt] ==== "7+3." - Calvin "73." - Hobbes "A red spaceship on the monitor, your vileness." - Calvin "AGH! A SNOW SNAKE'S GOT ME!" - Calvin "All my real skills are undervalued." - Calvin "And before I got to third grade, I could retire." - Calvin "And when you add them, they magically become one new number." "And when you add them, they magically become one new number." - Calvin "Another casualty of applied metaphysics." - Hobbes "Another casualty of the seduction of art." - Hobbes "As a math atheist, I believe I should be excused from this." "As a math atheist, I believe I should be excused from this." - Calvin "As far as I'm concerned, the ends justify the means." - Calvin "At this moment, I like my anonymity." - Hobbes "Aw Mom, you act like I'm not even wearing a bungie cord.": Calvin "Aw mom, you act like I'm not even wearing a bunji cord!" "Aw mom, you act like I'm not even wearing a bunji cord!" - Calvin "Bad news Dad, your polls are way down." - Calvin "Bad news mom, I sold my soul to the devil." - Calvin "Bad news, Dad. Your polls are way down." - Calvin "Bad news, Mom. I sold my soul to the devil." - Calvin "But mom, frogs are our *friends*!" - Calvin "Calvin arriving in turbo chute 4. Clear receiving pad." "Calvin arriving in turbo chute 4. Clear receiving pad." - CnH "Calvin suddenly realizes the world has no Hue, Value, or Chroma!" "Calvin!! Get back here and get all those dead bugs out of my shampoo!!" "Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman." "Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman." Calvin's mom "Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman."-Calvin's Dad "Calvin? Who's Calvin? I'm *Stupendous Man*!" - Calvin "Can I take an ax to school tomorrow for, um, Show and Tell?" "Can I take an ax to school tomorrow for, um, Show and Tell?" - Calvin "Can I take some logs up to my room?" - Calvin "Careful, we don't want to learn from this." - Calvin "Chew electronic death, you snarling cur!" - Calvin "Childhood is short and maturity is forever" - Calvin "Childhood is so disillusioning." - Calvin "Dad! Dad! Where do you keep your guns?" - Calvin "Days like these let you savor a bad mood." - Calvin "Do you think God lets you plea bargain?" - Calvin "Don't sell the bike shop, Orville." - Hobbes "Don't we even get a few practice semesters?" - Calvin "Don't you hate it when your boogers freeze?" - Calvin "Eat feathers, fuzzball!" - Calvin "Even my *friends* don't do what I want." - Calvin "Every time I've built character, I've regretted it." - Calvin "Everything's gotta have rules, rules, rules!" - Calvin "Eww! He's giving himself two weird heads!" - Calvin "Existence is not only temporary, its pointless." - Calvin "For the townsfolk below, the day began like any other..." "Gee, dad. I wish you'd let mom drive, it's more exciting." "Genius is never understood in it's own time." - Calvin "Girls are so weird." - Calvin "Girls have more delicate heinies." - Susie Derkins "Heresy signifies no more than private opinion." - Hobbes "Hey Dad, remember our car?" - Calvin "Hey, just be grateful we're still alive" * Calvin "Hmm... How *did* they finally kill 'Frosty'?" - Hobbes "Hobbes did it, Mom!" - Calvin "Houston, we have a negative on that orbit trajectory." "Houston, we have a negative on that orbit trajectory." - Calvin "How good do you have to be to qualify as good?" - Calvin "I achieve a lower consciousness." - Calvin "I always leave the room when the talk gets philosophical." - Calvin "I don't think math is a science. I think it's a religion." - Calvin "I don't want to watch anything that has a moral." - Calvin "I guess that got pretty pathetic." - Calvin "I let my mind wander and it didn't come back." - Calvin "I like maxim's that don't encourage behavior modification." "I like maxim's that don't encourage behavior modification." - Calvin "I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification." "I need a stunt double!" - Calvin "I need to work on my salesmanship." - Calvin "I never get to do anything fun." - Calvin "I say just punch him then and there." - Calvin "I suppose if I had two X Chromosomes *I'd* feel hostile too."-Calvin "I think it's good that everyone becomes food." - Hobbes "I think my cerebellum just fused!" - Calvin "I think that would affect my stomach more than my heart." "I think that would affect my stomach more than my heart." - Calvin "I think we'd better get that kid to a psychologist." "I told her to expect you to deny everything." - Calvin "I wish *I* was a tiger." "A common lament." "I wish I could go to the moon." - Calvin "I wish you could too." - Dad "I'd explain it, but there's a lot of math." - Calvin & Hobbes "I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big." - Calvin "I'm a card-carrying genius." - Calvin "I'm a professional snoop." - Calvin "I'm engaged in a contest of wills! It's me against Nature!" -Calvin "I'm fine just the way I am! Why should *I* change?" - Calvin "I'm leaking brain lubricant." "I'm off to meet my doom, mom. See you after school." - Calvin "I'm related to people I don't relate to." -Calvin (& Hobbes) "I'M SIGNIFICANT!!!" .. cried the dust speck - Calvin "I'm sure they can track the Bee on radar." - Calvin "I'm sure they can track the Bee on radar." - Calvin Aug 1993 "I've changed my mind, Hobbes. People are scum." - Calvin "I've never seen a sled catch on fire before." - Hobbes "If Jiminy Cricket was here, I'd skoosh him." - Calvin "If Jiminy Cricket were here, I'd skoosh him." - Calvin "If people could put rainbows in zoos, they'd do it." -- Hobbes "If you can't win by reason, go for volume." - Calvin "Imaginary Numbers... Like Eleventeen and Thirty-Twelve." "Imaginary Numbers... Like Eleventeen and Thirty-Twelve." - Calvin "Imaginary Numbers..Like Eleventeen and Thirty-Twelve"-Hobbes "In my book, food should be nutrition and entertainment." * Calvin "Is there no villainy thou hast not committed?" "Isn't your pants zipper supposed to be in front?" "Isn't your pants zipper supposed to be in front?" Hobbes "It must be sad being a species with so little imagination." - Calvin "It takes one to Know one Mr. Tapioca-head" - Hobbes "It's a loathsome bat-webbed booger being." - Calvin "It's not as if lives hang in the balance, right?" - Calvin "It's Psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw." - Calvin "It's sad how some people can't handle a little variety." - Calvin "It's too much work! It's boring! It's slow!" - Calvin "Keep in mind transmogrification is new technology." - Calvin "Let's see them figure *that* one out!" - Hobbes "Live and don't learn, that's us." - Hobbes "Look! A thermos full of phlegm!" - Calvin "MISS WORMWOOD!" - Susie Derkins "Mom has to EARN a night's respite from me." Calvin "Mom, I sneezed and blew my head off!" - Calvin "Mom, was I ever a grub?" - Calvin "Moms and reason are like oil and water." - Calvin "Monopoly is more fun when you make your own chance cards." "Monopoly is more fun when you make your own chance cards." - Calvin "Mothers are the necessity of invention." - Calvin "My likely historical significance is a terrible burden." - Calvin "My personal gravity must have reversed polarity!" - Calvin "My upbringing is filled with inconsistent messages." - Calvin "No one understands my work." - Calvin "Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around." - Calvin "Nothing like a little virus to take the edge off a kid." - Calvin "Now give me *another* five cents and let's see what I have!" - Calvin "Now I'm here, and history is vindicated." - Calvin "Oh what the heck. I'll do it." - Calvin "Pass me an issue of Captain Napalm, will you?" - Hobbes "Personally, I'm rooting for the eye creatures." - Calvin "Please tell me I'm adopted." - Calvin "Rats. I can't tell my gum from my silly putty." - Calvin "Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension." - Hobbes "Scientific progress goes 'BOINK' ??" Hobbes "Shut up and go get me some antiseptic." - Calvin "Slugs are so chewy before you shrivel 'em up." - Calvin "Snowgoons on the horizon... Hobbes, load the CALVINATOR!" - Calvin "So who else do I add to my list of total jerks" - Calvin "Someday I'll write my own philosophy book." - Calvin "Somehow I imagined this experience would be more rewarding." "Somehow I imagined this experience would be more rewarding." - Calvin "Sometimes, if you wait, he'll top himself." - Hobbes "Spaceman Spiff is going down over the planet Gork!" - Calvin "Suffice to say, I cannot add, so ask some other kid." - Calvin "Super Hereos wear snow pants?" "When there's snow out they do." "Ta Da Da Daaaaa! I'm Stupendous Man!" -Calvin (& Hobbes) "That darn bicycle tried to kill me!" - Calvin "That's a lot more mature than I think I care to be." - Calvin "That's me." *OOF* "The human slinky." - Calvin "The creature appears hostile!" - Calvin to a moderator "The creature appears hostile!" - Calvin "The fearless Spaceman Spiff sets off to explore a new planet!" "The fearless Spaceman Spiff sets off to explore a new planet!"-Calvin "The oil tanker crashed, mom."- Calvin "The problem with people is that they're only human." Hobbes "There isn't an ounce of imagination in the whole bunch." - Calvin "There! Now we're both transmogrified! We're even!" - Calvin "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." - Calvin "They don't realize I'm a card-carrying genius." - Calvin "Things don't bug you if you don't think about them." - Calvin "This is a job for.. AACK! WAAUGHHH!! ...someone else." - Calvin "This serene metropolis lies directly beneath the Hoover Dam..."-Calvin "Tigers' tummies are solar cells." "Yeah, right." "To the inattentive and brainless layman, yes." - Calvin "Tomorrow we seize the day, and throttle it!" - Hobbes "Tonight: The Revenge of the Baby-Sat" - Calvin "Twisted Fiend! No four walls can hold STPENDOUS MAN!"- Calvin "Until you stalk and overcome, you can't devour anyone" - Hobbes "Well YOU were the one playing the cymbals!!" - Hobbes "What fun is it being "cool" if you can't wear a sombrero?" - Hobbes "What I wouldn't give to be a latchkey kid..." - Calvin "Whatcha doin'?" - Hobbes "Counterfeiting money." - Calvin "While you ponder this analogy, I'm going outside." - Calvin "Who do we know that we could sue?" - Calvin "with supendous speed, STUPENDOUS MAN is out the door!" - Calvin "Wow, I bored myself *AWAKE*."--Calvin "You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw." - Calvin 'Hobbes' loot'?? - Calvin's Mom 7+3. Calvin 73. Hobbes A map to the refrigerator. Hilarious. - Calvin A perpetual desire for power after power. - Hobbes A red spaceship on the monitor, your vileness. - Calvin AGH! A SNOW SNAKE'S GOT ME! - Calvin All my real skills are undervalued. - Calvin And before I got to third grade, I could retire. - Calvin And when you add them, they magically become one new number. Another casualty of applied metaphysics. - Hobbes Another casualty of the seduction of art. - Hobbes Another gruesome kill! -Calvin As a math atheist, I believe I should be excused from this. As a math atheist, I should be excused from this. - Calvin At this moment, I like my anonymity. - Hobbes Aw mom, you act like I'm not even wearing a bunji cord! Bad news mom, I sold my soul to the devil. - Calvin Bad news, Dad. Your polls are way down. - Calvin Bad news, Mom. I sold my soul to the devil. - Calvin Better a few rules, than Calvinball rules. But mom, frogs are our *friends*! - Calvin By my troth, I am off! - Calvin Calvin arriving in turbo chute 4. Clear receiving pad. Calvin you stinkhead: I told you not to read this. - Susie's note Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman. Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman. Calvin's Calvin: "I guess I'm a child progeny." Hobbes: "Most children are." Calvin? Who's Calvin? I'm *Stupendous Man*! - Calvin Can I take an ax to school tomorrow for, um, Show and Tell? Can I take an ax to school tomorrow for, um, Show and Tell? - Calvin Can I take some logs up to my room? - Calvin Careful. We don't want to learn from this. - Calvin Chew electronic death, you snarling cur! - Calvin Childhood is short and maturity is forever. - Calvin Childhood is so disillusioning. - Calvin Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs- recommended by Calvin. Dad! Dad! Where do you keep your guns? - Calvin Days like these let you savor a bad mood. - Calvin Do you think God lets you plea bargain? - Calvin Don't sell the bike shop, Orville. - Hobbes Don't we even get a few practice semesters? - Calvin Don't you hate it when your boogers freeze? - Calvin Eat feathers, fuzzball! - Calvin Even my *FRIENDS* don't do what I want. - Calvin Every time I've built character, I've regretted it. - Calvin Everything's gotta have rules, rules, rules! - Calvin Eww! He's giving himself two weird heads! - Calvin Existence is not only temporary, its pointless. - Calvin Face it, Dad. The season's OVER.-Calvin FLUSH!, Whee! Ha Ha Ha!, I'm done with my bath! -Calvin For the townsfolk below, the day began like any other...-Calvin Forsooth, even the zephyr hath more direction than I. Geez, I gotta have a REASON for everything?! -Calvin Girls are so weird. - Calvin Girls have more delicate heinies. - Susie Derkins Heresy signifies no more than private opinion. - Hobbes Hey Dad, remember our car? - Calvin Hmm... How *did* they finally kill Frosty? - Hobbes Hobbes did it, Mom! - Calvin Hobbes, we're dealing with a PRO!!-Calvin Houston, we have a negative on that orbit trajectory. - Calvin How good do you have to be to qualify as good? - Calvin I achieve a lower consciousness. - Calvin I always leave the room when the talk gets philosophical. - Calvin I don't see why some people even *have* cars. -- Calvin I don't want to watch anything that has a moral. - Calvin I guess that got pretty pathetic. - Calvin I just live here... - Calvin's Dad I like maxim's that don't encourage behavior modification. Calvin I need a stunt double! - Calvin I need to work on my salesmanship. - Calvin I never get to do anything fun. - Calvin I say just punch him then and there. - Calvin I think it's good that everyone becomes food. - Hobbes I think my cerebellum just fused! -- Calvin I think that would affect my stomach more than my heart. I think we'd better get that kid to a psychologist. -Calvins' Father I told her to expect you to deny everything. - Calvin I try to make everyone's day alittle more surreal. -Calvin I wish *I* was a tiger. - Calvin A common lament. - Hobbes I'm a professional snoop. - Calvin I'm fine just the way I am! Why should *I* change? - Calvin I'm leaking brain lubricant. - Calvin I'm off to meet my doom, Mom. See you after school. - Calvin I've changed my mind, Hobbes. People are scum. - Calvin I've got plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it. -Calvin I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts. -Calvin If Jiminy Cricket was here, I'd skoosh him. - Calvin If you can't win by reason, go for volume. - Calvin If you can't win with reason go for volume - Calvin Imaginary Numbers... Like Eleventeen and Thirty-Twelve. - Calvin In my book, food should be nutrition and entertainment. * Calvin Is it a volcano? An earthquake? No, it's ... it's a CALVINOSAURUS! Is there no villainy thou hast not committed, Calvin? Isn't your pants zipper supposed to be in front? Hobbes It takes one to Know one Mr. Tapioca-head - Hobbes. It's a loathsome bat-webbed booger being. - Calvin It's not as if lives hang in the balance, right? - Calvin It's Psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw. - Calvin It's sad how some people can't handle a little variety.: Calvin It's too much work! It's boring! It's slow! - Calvin Let me see your bat a minute. - Hobbes Let's see them figure *that* one out! - Hobbes Live and don't learn, that's us. - Hobbes Look! A thermos full of phlegm! - Calvin MISS WORMWOOD!!!! - Susie Derkins Mom - Calvin? Who's Calvin? I'm *Stupendous Man*! - Calvin Mom would be alot more fun if she was a little more gullible. -Calvin Mom, I let my mind wander and it didn't come back. - Calvin Mom, I sneezed and blew my head off! - Calvin Mom, was I ever a grub? - Calvin Moms and reason are like oil and water. - Calvin Monopoly is more fun when you make your own chance cards. - Calvin Mothers are the necessity of invention. - Calvin My dreams are getting way too literal. -Calvin My likely historical significance is a terrible burden. - Calvin My upbringing is filled with inconsistent messages. - Calvin Never annoy a CALVIN, I have a stuffed tiger in my pocket! NICE TRYYYY!! - Calvin's Mom Nice underpants - Hobbes No one understands my work. - Calvin Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around. - Calvin Nothing like a little virus to take the edge off a kid. - Calvin's Dr Now I'm here, and history is vindicated. - Calvin Oh what the heck. I'll do it. - Calvin Oh, nice underpants! - Susie One more nostalgic part of childhood goes THBPPTH.-Calvin Pass me an issue of Captain Napalm, will you? - Hobbes Personally, I'm rooting for the eye creatures. - Calvin Please tell me I'm adopted. - Calvin Psst. Hey, tiger, push the kid off the bed for a mackerel. - Monster Rats. I can't tell my gum from my silly putty. - Calvin Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension. - Hobbes Scientific progress goes 'BOINK' ?? - Hobbes Setting his death ray blaster on frappe, our hero sets off looking ... Shut up and go get me some antiseptic. - Calvin Snowgoons on the horizon... Hobbes, load the CALVINATOR! So, who *else* do I add to my list of total jerks? - Calvin Someday I'll write my own philosophy book. -Calvin. Somehow I imagined this experience would be more rewarding. - Calvin Something under the bed is drooling - Calvin Sometimes, if you wait, he'll top himself. - Hobbes Suffice to say, I cannot add, so ask some other kid. - Calvin Super Heroes wear snow pants?-Hobbes When there's snow out they do. -Calvi That darn bicycle tried to kill me! - Calvin That's a lot more mature than I think I care to be. - Calvin. That's me. *OOF* The human slinky. - Calvin The creature appears hostile! - Calvin The fearless Spaceman Spiff sets off to explore a new planet! - Calvin The oil tanker crashed, mom. - Calvin The problem with people is that they're only human. Hobbes There! Now we're both transmogrified! We're even! - Calvin They don't realize I'm a card-carrying genius. - Calvin Things don't bug you if you don't think about them. - Calvin This is a job for.. AACK! WAAUGHHH!! ...someone else. - Calvin This ought to be good! - Calvin This serene metropolis lies directly beneath the Hoover Dam... - Calvin Tigers' tummies are solar cells. Yeah, right. - Calvin To the inattentive and brainless layman, yes. - Calvin Tonight: The Revenge of the Baby-Sat. Trusting your parents can be hazardous to your health. -Calvin Until you stalk and overcome, you can't devour anyone - Hobbes We don't ATTEND parties, we just CRASH 'em! -Calvin Well YOU were the one playing the cymbals!! - Hobbes What fun is it being "cool" if you can't wear a sombrero? - Hobbes What horrors we visit upon ourselves in the name of science. - Hobbes What I wouldn't give to be a latchkey kid... - Calvin What's a pronoun?-Calvin A noun that lost it's amature status.-Hobbes Whatcha doin'? - Hobbes Counterfeiting money. - Calvin While you ponder this analogy, I'm going outside. - Calvin Who do we know that we could sue? - Calvin Why would anyone buy insurance from YOU?!? - Susie Derkins Yakka Foob MoG. GRuG PubbawuP Zink wattoom GaZoRk. CHuMBLE Spuzz. == End [calvin_h.txt] ==== Olivier. ___ STGtag 2.00.Alpha2+ _NEW_ ... Nul n'a jamais dit que la voie de la mchancet serait aise. --- GoldED/386 3.00.Beta2+ * Origin: Olivier Collard, STGsoft Headquarters, Charleroi B (2:293/3219)