--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: DBG00002 Date: 07/11/96 From: MATRIKA Time: 11:04am \/To: KITTY JONES (Read 1 times) Subj: Just a wondering! re - still getting angry - I do frequently too. In fact I am really upset now. I have a friend who needs AL-Anon or Coda or ACOA or SOMETHING, but doesn't go to it. Yesterday she gave some advice on our marriage to my husband on the phone, which was unsolicited - calling, allegedly for me, when she KNEW I wasn't going to be home. When I came home and called her back, she couldn't remember what she had originally called for, interestingly enough; however, she also gave some unsolicited advice on our marriage to me. . Normally I would blow up over this; however, today I have program and I can take into an account that this woman comes from an extremely dysfunctional background and may honestly not know any better. I find it interesting she did this after spending a weekend - long one - with her mother too. I have learned that I am not the only person to "have a disease" or to be emotionally a wreck - alcohol and drugs help, but are not mandatory. . I can also talk honestly with my husband in a quiet, calmer way about what I see happening - he is the pursued and not the pursuer, he is never alone with her either - and we can come up with schemes to avoid the situation. Such as, if I am home and he is not, screen all calls and not answer any from her, for one thing. It is a gift of sobriety to be able to communicate in my marriage at times and not always scream like a Banshee. (GRIN) . Instead of rushing off and writing her a hate letter, I can think before writing and speak to her (by mail) as I would like to be spoken to - nothing does pay off like restraint of pen and toungue AND KEYBOARD! (GRIN) . To ME, getting angry isn't the problem, but it's what I do with it. I have learned to use anger in constructive rather than destructive ways. I learned a trick from a self-help book I read. In dealing with anger I ask myself what purpose is anger serving in my life? If it isn't serving any, I usually find I can let go of it today - not always though. (AND That took time AND PRACTISE to get to, believe me) . Healthy ways of venting anger, such as beating on a pillow, writing a letter I don't send and burying it under an oak or birch tree, using a stone - preferably one in my collection that means something to me - I hold it in my hand, rant and rave and holler and imagine the stone now has all the anger, then throw it into a river, lake, the ocean or whatever, are all some things that work. So does hard exercise or going for a brisk walk. Sharing it at a meeting, here, on the phone or wherever also helps calm em down. . Oh, when I walk I often, silently, repeat the Serenity prayer over and over again - or some other spirituatl phrase like LET GO and Let God(ess or whatever) - until I'm calmer, it's like a very ACTIVE version of the eleventh step and this has worked for me when nothing else did. It got me through a horrible time in my life about five years back. I was 3 and 1/2 years - 4 and 1/2 years sober during this transition and crisis. I don't think I would have made it, if I hadn't learned to do this. . I believe feelings are neither right nor wrong, it's what I do with them that can be labelled "good" or "bad". --- TriToss (tm) Professional 10.0 - #66 * Origin: Keystone BBS * Shrewsbury, MA * 508-753-3767 (1:322/743.0) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: DBG00003 Date: 07/10/96 From: TIM DILL Time: 08:41am \/To: ALL (Read 1 times) Subj: Resignation Hi All, I regret to announce that I must resign my position of Asst. Moderator of the Recovery Echo... Over the 4th of July Weekend I agreed to take over the empty Co-Moderator space of 12_steps as there was a resignation. I hereby open my slot to election by the echo at large and until I have a duly elected replacement I will act as the Asst. Moderator here... the elected Asst. Moderator will get the echo keys and password to the E-listing via netmail or email and a copy of the current echo rules (such as they are) Once that is done I will update the E-listing to reflect the change of Moderatorship..... The election will run until the end of July and upon the 31st if there is no elected successor I will appoint one... Nominations are open now and I will tally the votes and publish the results. Good luck to you all and it's been a joy to be of service... Tim Dill Asst Moderator Recovery Echo Emeritus --- PPoint 2.00 * Origin: Trudging the road in Brooklyn N.Y. (1:116/3000.13) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: DBH00000 Date: 07/12/96 From: AL P. Time: 08:23pm \/To: ALL (Read 1 times) Subj: hello Hi. I am new here, just trying out life online. Have another good one, everybody! Drop me a line! Al --- Maximus 2.01wb * Origin: The Alano Club (604)739-1188 (1:153/840) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: DBH00001 Date: 07/12/96 From: RICHARD WARD Time: 05:59am \/To: TIM DILL AND ALL PARTICIPANTS (Read 1 times) Subj: Resignation On (10 Jul 96) Tim Dill wrote to all... TD> Hi All, I regret to announce that I must resign my position TD> of Asst. Moderator of the Recovery Echo... TD> I hereby open my slot to election by the echo at large TD> and until I have a duly elected replacement I will act I replied to Tim's resignation and his mention of 'election' when I received his message. I thanked him and said that as MODERATOR I would take care of looking for an assistant. There is no ELECTION process in effect (taking place) now. Anyone who would like to discuss being Asst. Moderator of this echo is welcome to do so in FidoNetMail 1:102/749.7 or preferable by InterNet at either address. FrRichWard@AOL.com or OSJD West@AOL.com ... Questions? Comments? Resentments? --- PPoint 1.92 * Origin: Steps of DC West! Long Beach, CA (1:102/749.7) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: DBI00000 Date: 07/13/96 From: RICHARD WARD Time: 09:47am \/To: AL P. (Read 1 times) Subj: hello On (12 Jul 96) Al P. wrote to All... AP> Hi. I am new here, just trying out life online. Hi Al, hope you enjoy 'life online'. ;-) AP> * Origin: The Alano Club (604)739-1188 (1:153/840) Where is this Alono club located? Richard ... Kindness is loving people more than they deserve - Joubert --- PPoint 1.92 * Origin: Steps of DC West! Long Beach, CA (1:102/749.7) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: DBI00001 Date: 07/13/96 From: TIM DILL Time: 06:46am \/To: JEFF HUNTER (Read 1 times) Subj: RESIGNATION -=> Jeff Hunter was mumbling to Tim Dill about RESIGNATION <=- > Over the 4th of July Weekend I agreed to take over the empty > Co-Moderator space of 12_steps as there was a resignation. JH> JH> Who is the moderator in your new echo, perhaps it is time to JH> turn it back on. Linda Glover..... Tim... ... "And this is the machine that goes ping!" ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 [NR] --- Silver Xpress Mail System 4.00F2 * Origin: Promises BBS, Nashville, TN. (615) 367-4410 (1:116/3000) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: DBI00002 Date: 07/13/96 From: TIM DILL Time: 06:53am \/To: RICHARD WARD (Read 1 times) Subj: REPLY TO YOUR FIDONETMAIL -=> Richard Ward was mumbling to Tim Dill about REPLY TO YOUR FIDONETMAIL <=- RW> I would appreciate the suggestions in private. FrRichWard@AOL.com or RW> OSJD West@AOL.com on Internet. Check your email..... Tim... ... Questions? Comments? Resentments? ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 [NR] --- Silver Xpress Mail System 4.00F2 * Origin: Promises BBS, Nashville, TN. (615) 367-4410 (1:116/3000) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: DBI00003 Date: 07/13/96 From: TIM DILL Time: 07:01am \/To: LINDA GLOVER (Read 1 times) Subj: A PLACE WE ATE -=> Linda Glover was mumbling to Tim Dill about A PLACE WE ATE <=- LG> Yep, just about where I thought it might happen...DARN!!! Wea'all wadda'ya mean darrn? Ole Annalee is jest setting on the bed a reedin some trashy novel of some sort and mase'f ah'ma reeding an riting on this here eco.... LG> Should have LG> warned you about the spirit of Cousin Jeb and Cousin Daisy. They LG> haunt that stetch of road and jump into the bodies of otherwise smart, LG> hip, knowing souls passing through. Us fokes dinna need no warnin, I was here in Tim's boby from long ago... after all the poor boy was esstationed in Louisiannie for some time.. waz gret to get back... LG> They especially like the passing LG> through type...gives them a better chance at spreading the myth. Myth? Hell wuman desehere folks ainna no myph.... LG> TP who is probably looking at LG> this with you :-)!!!!) Topic police? Hell wuman I _IS_ the topic police round heah! after all this here is the recovery eco.... TimBob.... ... "He got me invested in some kind of fruit company." ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 [NR] --- Silver Xpress Mail System 4.00F2 * Origin: Promises BBS, Nashville, TN. (615) 367-4410 (1:116/3000) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: DBJ00000 Date: 07/12/96 From: LINDA GLOVER Time: 07:28am \/To: MATRIKA (Read 1 times) Subj: Re: A place we ate > re - Jeb and Daisy - You know we DO have a Multiple Personality > Disoreder echo on Fido> GRIN! > Sorry, it was there! Don't be sorry...your comment was funny. I think, to some degree or another, most recovering alkie qualify for a MPD echo...the person before is usually totally different than the sober person. Or at least, that's my story!!!! Linda --- DB 1.54/004780 * Origin: The Bearly Bored HST 573-581-6717 1:289/1 (1:289/1) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: DBJ00001 Date: 07/13/96 From: SOBER SWEDE Time: 10:46am \/To: ALICE WINN (Read 1 times) Subj: New Here Hi Alice, -=> Quoting Alice Winn to All <=- AW> Hi Everyone..I just happened to d/l a packet of mail from a local AW> board and was really happy to find this area. I'm a recovering addict AW> - it'll be four years in September. When I first stopped using I Welcome. Nice to see a new "face" here. I'm Andrea, aka Sober Swede around here, an alcoholic and I also have 4 years. Got my coin last month. AW> became really involved with NA and I thank all those members who AW> reached out to me. After going to meetings regularly I realized that AW> while a structured program is important for some, I got to a point AW> where I began to feel that my life was not progressing. The stronger AW> I became the less comfortable I felt at meetings. A lot of people AW> seemed to me to be stagnating and not really interested in moving I hear ya. I found that going to other meetings was a help there. Meeting new people and hearing other points of view on problems or things in life we all get into at different times. I got almost bored with meetings and didn't see a strong reason for going. At this point I go to 1 meeting a week and seem fine with that. I guess this is an individual thing and each has to run his/her own life according to what works. I like to get to one meeting a week but some days I work overtime, and am just too tired to go out. If I felt the need, felt as if I was slipping and needed the support I'd be at more meetings, I'm sure. But right now I'm cool with the way things are. I get criticized for not going to more meetings but this is my call, not theirs. As long as I'm staying sober, as long as I'm confident that I CAN STAY sober I don't see the necessity of running to 5-10 meetings a week as some do. Each to his/her own. As long as it's working. AW> ahead in the new life being clean offered. My life is full now and AW> I'm busy all the time. I will never forget where I came from and am AW> grateful for the start and help I got. Is this the way things worked AW> for anyone else?? I would love to hear from you.. Like you, I'm very busy with working full-time now (didn't do that before and have lots to do besides that. I also feel that keeping a positive attitude trying not to become too tired out or stressed, and just looking at the good side of things seems to keep me on top of my life and problems that may occur. And they do! :) Nice to hear from you. Keep writing. Andrea ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 [NR] --- WILDMAIL!/WC v4.10 * Origin: The Rochester Exchange 716-359-9468 Rochester NY (1:2613/203.0)