--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D5P00010 Date: 05/17/96 From: ANDREW DETTMAN Time: 12:38am \/To: JUDITH LABONTE (Read 1 times) Subj: Breaking the Rules!!! ~ Hello Judith Labonte, keep coming back... Monday, 13 May 1996 14:44:00, Judith Labonte wrote to Andrew Dettman Subject: Breaking the Rules!!! JL> least if they have a G A one, I have not yet seen it - and would JL> like to as I know little or nothing about that group. . Zaynab - I JL> don't know if that's her real name or a handle - is the moderator JL> of that echo and a wonderful lady who also has a rather ecclectic JL> spiritual program. Your posts remind me of her posts there and JL> otherwise, so I was sondering if you too had chatted at each other. You say the sweetest things! Eclectic eh, now that's a word to conjure with....'choosing the best from diverse sources' and all that kinda stuff! I had to look it up in my book of Spells really! Hope that you're all well over there across the Big Puddle! I am extraordinarily pleased to share my first AA birthday of May 15th with you and to thank you all for being there for me on these echoes and thus supporting my recovery. Though my life depends on God alone, still the support of everyone I've talked with whilst in AA has been the securement of my understanding, without which my standing-under God may well revert to simply under-lying-down again! There was a Fellowship meeting tonight in Hull which had Step 9 as the theme and I would like to share with you a little of that which I was abled to meet with understanding concerning the notion of making an amend. I love words so much that at times they are kind to me and open themselves through letters letting themselves be moved thus granting me a poetic insight which helps me to under-stand.......as I get older they are like a kind of cosmic 'Zimmer frame'! The spirit of a word sometimes lets me add a dash to it. I often added a dash of all kinds of things to my drinks but my dashes nowadays are much more fun! So, the word amend allows me to present it as 'am-end'. For me now it is clear why I could never say that I was sorry whilst I was trapped in my previous patterns of behaviour and mis-understanding. The 'am-ness' that I was in when ever I used the term 'I am', like 'I am going to the pub', 'I am sorry', 'I am going to pay you back', 'I am.......etc, etc, etc,' was part of my overall view of myself which had a foundation of alcohol abuse to varying degrees of intensity which I could not end. So my 'am-ness' in any department of my life could not end, so all of my behaviour was habit ridden and unreliable. Even when I wanted to end a part of my behaviour in whatever area, I was always prone to slipping back whatever regretful promises I used to try to force a change and end habits which were hurting myself or others. Eventually, even though still drinking periodically, some of my 'am-ness' was changed by the Grace of God and in the areas where I knew for certain that the end of the behaviour and misunderstanding could be made permanent, then I could go to those people I knew had suffered through my actions and say to them that '....that way of behaving AM-ENDED in me!!!' Hope you'll forgive the Negro Spiritual element in my expression.....gi'me five! So, when I came to be brought into AA, after my Sponsor had stepped me through the first five steps and I had taken six and seven with the God of my understanding, I now see that I can go to those people specifically hurt by my drinking and make a clear statement that as far as possible my drinking AM-ENDED and that that which I did offensively whilst drunk has also ended. Oddly enough, when I got home from tonight's meeting I looked up the word 'amend' in the dictionary and I find that the word derives from an alteration of the Latin 'emendare', to free from faults: ex- removal, out of + menda, mendum- defect, fault. So, when we ask in Step six and seven to have our defects and shortcomings removed, it is through the magic of making true amends that this is actually achieved by the God of our understanding through the very structure and Power of the words that we respond to in our Programme being actively employed in our action. I feel that amends should be made once as the guidelines suggest and that for every AM-END that is truly shared then we can expect an AM-START in the growth of a new life in all its fullness. Thanks again for being there for me and love to you and yours. Best wishes, Andrew. .!. It is far safer to be feared than loved. Machiavelli --- Terminate 3.00 * Origin: From a Bus Stop at a high Point..... (2:2502/28.4) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D5P00011 Date: 05/19/96 From: PUSSIN BOOTS Time: 12:24pm \/To: DAVE ROSENDALE (Read 1 times) Subj: does local echomail work? DR> PB> actually that's pretty good...cyber is wonderful...we can send DR> PB> messages and have meetings and still not have to leave our DR> PB> chairs...have a good one DR> Cyber is great, until I get my phonebill! :) it can get to be a bit pricey sometimes...that's why I generally stick to local BBS...have a great day take care MB --- FMail/386 1.0g * Origin: The 3L's BBS - Latham, NY (1:267/124) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D5P00012 Date: 05/12/96 From: KITTY JONES Time: 05:28pm \/To: JEFF HUNTER (Read 1 times) Subj: Re: multi-program recove JH>For some people daily AA meetings aren't an option because they JH>don't exist. Round here there are two meetings a week that are JH>accessiblewould need a 'babysitter' to be able to attend. JH>Sounds familiar to me, I have not always lived where there even were JH>any AA meetings, meetings around the clock were unthinkable! JH>Yet people still recover where meetings are sparse or non-existant JH>some with enormous amounts of time. Wonder how? ;-) JH>I believe they get a grip on themselves and their Higher JH>Power and stay sober because they want soberity more than JH>they want to be drunk. I see JH>no other explaination. JH>I cannot get out to meetings anymore, then I discovered these echos JH>and the maillists on the net and I have more AA at my fingertips JH>than I ever had in person in this twelve or so years of soberity! I JH>love these echos, we can express just what we wish to convey, JH>respond when we wish, and hang on to a favored message for future JH>reference. None of the above is possible in a face to face JH>situation. Hi Jeff! :)) I'm an alcoholic and my name is Kitty. :) I am so glad you wrote that message as I really needed to read that today. You see, I haven't been to meetings in months except for on here and the other nite a man called to ask me to speak at his home group, I told him I didn't think I should and explained why, but he said please, I ended up speaking for him last nite and after the meeting, people started getting on my case about the way I'm doing my program, it's upset me alittle, but in another way, I AM sober, I have NO desire to drink or drug, so I must be doing something right, right? One man there tried to guilt me into joining his home group saying I need the people in the rooms, not the computer, I couldn't get him to understand that the PEOPLE on the computer ARE PEOPLE, the only difference from going to a meeting and facing people, we are on the computer where for me I'm more comfortable and I can share more as I'm very shy. I'd really appreciate your feedback on what I just wrote. Thanks :) ___ * POW 1.1 On Trial * GLYSDI --- Maximus/2 3.01 * Origin: PC Emporium BBS * Boca Raton, FL * 407-994-3690 (1:3638/5) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D5P00013 Date: 05/16/96 From: KITTY JONES Time: 07:32pm \/To: MARK SAWYER (Read 1 times) Subj: The EZBBS is shutting down Hi Mark :) I'm an alcoholic and my name is Kitty. I'm sorry to hear about the bbs shutting down, but you have to do what you have to do. :) I do hope though that somehow you will be able to continue on the AA conferences. :) GLYSDI Kitty --- Maximus/2 3.01 * Origin: PC Emporium BBS * Boca Raton, FL * 407-994-3690 (1:3638/5) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D5P00014 Date: 05/19/96 From: JEFF HUNTER Time: 10:39am \/To: SHADOWCAT (Read 1 times) Subj: Re: Reply to your reply... Hello Shadowcat, > One thing you said in your post was LOL. YOu said it 3 times. Maybe I'm > dumb, but people always use these abbreviations I don't recognize. I'm > always asking for clarification... so, what does LOL mean. I'll probably > groan and wonder why I didn't clue into it, but please answer. Laughing Out Loud. ROTF behind it means, Rolling On The Floor; sometimes someone will add nas HS for holding sides; etc... > Hope you find some nice, small meeting to enjoy :) > It's to each of us our own, and there's enough in the program for lots > of us to find something that's gonna work for us :) Very true, there is surely a spot for everyone, and what works wonders for one may not work at all for another. Yours, in recovery... Jeff --- DB 1.58/003790 * Origin: The Rain Forest * Denver,CO * (1:104/901) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D5P00015 Date: 05/19/96 From: JEFF HUNTER Time: 10:42am \/To: SHADOWCAT (Read 1 times) Subj: Re: Reply to your reply... Hello Shadowcat, > One thing you said in your post was LOL. YOu said it 3 times. Maybe I'm > dumb, but people always use these abbreviations I don't recognize. I'm > always asking for clarification... so, what does LOL mean. I'll probably > groan and wonder why I didn't clue into it, but please answer. Laughing Out Loud. ROTF used behind it means, Rolling On The Floor; sometimes someone will add an HS for holding sides; etc... Then there are cutsy things like STC... (Scaring The Cat!) Let your imagination be your guide. > Hope you find some nice, small meeting to enjoy :) When the need arises, and well before things get quite desperate, something will come along. > It's to each of us our own, and there's enough in the program for lots > of us to find something that's gonna work for us :) Very true, there is surely a spot for everyone, and what works wonders for one may not work at all for another. Yours, in recovery... Jeff --- DB 1.58/003790 * Origin: The Rain Forest * Denver,CO * (1:104/901) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D5P00016 Date: 05/09/96 From: ANDREW DETTMAN Time: 12:09am \/To: JUDITH LABONTE (Read 1 times) Subj: Breaking the Rules!!! ~ Hello Judith Labonte, keep coming back... Friday, 3 May 1996 19:38:00, Judith Labonte wrote to Andrew Dettman Subject: Breaking the Rules!!! JL> By the way, if you ever get a chance to talk to Zaynab on the JL> ACOA or ACA echo, I think you'd enjoy the discussion - she also JL> shares a similar viewpoint of the Higher Power, mystical yet JL> practical. Would love to, but I'm not sure what ACOA or ACA means!! It's taken me long enough to get this Fidonet thing working, is the Internet what you're talking about? Best wishes, Andrew. .!. Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors. --- Terminate 3.00 * Origin: A Point of shelter, waiting at a Bus Stop..... (2:2502/28.4) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D5P00017 Date: 05/11/96 From: LINDA GLOVER Time: 07:19am \/To: PAT WINSTANLEY (Read 1 times) Subj: Re: multi-program recovery Hi Pat, > Not all parts of the world are as well endowed with recovery 'services' > as others. > Yet people still recover where meetings are sparse or non-existant - some > with enormous amounts of time. Wonder how? ;-) By reading the BB, 12x12, all the AA liturature I can get my hands on, heading 40 miles West of here to a meeting when I can (I try at least once a month or more...and I'm due ;-0), good friends in the program here and other electronic places and good old telephone calls when necessary!! It's not easy sometimes, but we manage :-)!!! Linda --- DB 1.54/004780 * Origin: The Bearly Bored HST 573-581-6717 1:289/1 (1:289/1) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D5P00018 Date: 05/11/96 From: LINDA GLOVER Time: 07:21am \/To: TIM DILL (Read 1 times) Subj: Re: X-country Trip Hi Tim, > I am here in NYC a week or so early... lost my place to stay last sunday > nite and left cal on monday.... most of my stuff is still in ca... even > my 'puter.. hopefully this message get's to the folks it's > supposed to get to.. > been real crazy the last coupla as soon as I get an account set up here > I will be able to reeply via bluewave.. until then I am still sober but > in Brooklyn.. ;-) Thanks for letting me know...didn't want to bother you last weekend as I knew things would be a little hectic :-)!!! Glad you made it OK...now "Wagons Ho!!" Love, Linda --- DB 1.54/004780 * Origin: The Bearly Bored HST 573-581-6717 1:289/1 (1:289/1) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D5P00019 Date: 05/12/96 From: SHADOWCAT Time: 02:38am \/To: ANDREW DETTMAN (Read 1 times) Subj: ACOA Hi Andrew: As I look into my crystal ball, I imagine I see a lot of answers to your posting about what ACOA is. Adult Children of Alcoholics or Adult Children Alanon. There are specific Alanon meetings for those who are adult chilren of alcoholics, which is different from ACOA the specific program which has it's own WSO and different process than alanon. ACOA very specifically welcomes those who feel that they are adult children from any kind of dysfunctional background. For a lot of us, what was really going on in our "family of origin" was either blocked, or unclear as we were growing up, so we often find our way into other 12 step programs before even identifying that a parent's alcoholism might even have been a factor in how we got to the point we got to before finding recovery. In my life, my family was in denial about my mother's alcoholism - until I was over 30 and in recovery myself and became the "whistle blower". The most important factor of "all these programs" for me is that they all adapt the same 12 steps... because no matter what leads someone into recovery, the same 12 steps (though perhaps slightly adjusted) work... if you work 'em... but I know you know this :) Take care! "Shadowcat" --- Maximus 2.01wb * Origin: The Alano Club (604)739-1188 (1:153/840)