--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D2P00016 Date: 02/19/96 From: RICHARD WARD Time: 09:11am \/To: JOAN RENNE & ELAINE L (Read 0 times) Subj: FOR YOUR INFO... On (19 Feb 96) Joan Renne wrote to Elaine Loveless... JR> EL>On 16 Feb 96 08:41pm, Rain wrote to Elaine Loveless: EL> EL>> Been having a few health problems, but other than that, just EL> EL>> How about you? JR> What's with us folks? I've been down and out too. EL> R> Goin' through the medical dance. JR> anything they can do about it. Makes a person feel just REAL good! NOT! Perhaps you should see your local 'nutritionist'! ;-) ... Pray Like its all up to GOD. Work like its all up to YOU --- PPoint 1.92 * Origin: Steps of DC West! Long Beach, CA (1:102/749.7) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D2P00017 Date: 02/19/96 From: RICHARD WARD Time: 09:18am \/To: HARRIET LEVY (Read 0 times) Subj: RELATIONSHIPS On (18 Feb 96) HARRIET LEVY wrote to TOAD STRANGLER... ==> A hush fell over the room when Toad Strangler said to Kitty Jones <== TS> I met my husband through a free bbs account in HL> Hmmm...This sounds very familiar. My SO and I are currently on HL> opposite ends of the country. BTW, we met right here, in RECOVERY. How lucky can ONE get? ;-) ... There's a reason for all this. HP knows the reason, even if I don't. --- PPoint 1.92 * Origin: Steps of DC West! Long Beach, CA (1:102/749.7) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D2P00018 Date: 02/17/96 From: KITTY JONES Time: 02:28pm \/To: KURT J. TISCHER (Read 0 times) Subj: Relationships suck, but. KJ> Hi Kitty... KJ> I need to bounce this off of you because you are a woman and KJ>a man can't give me a woman's answer, okay? Hi Kurt... I am here for you, bounce away. :)). KJ> I realize that this woman is confused and scared because of KJ>her ex, and what he might do. This is a really screwed up triangle KJ>we got ourselves into here. She told me that it's not that she KJ>doesn't care, but that she IS confused and needs time to sort out KJ>her feelings. I respect that, as hard as it is to accept. KJ> So, I told her that as long as she goes undecided, then I am KJ>backing out and that I would try to be there when she is ready. But, KJ>for Valentine's Day, I wanted to smooth things out between us and KJ>let her know that I care, in way that was romantic, spontaneous, KJ>light-hearted, non-threatening, and that didn't ask for anything in KJ>return. So, I went to the store and bought a Pretty Hearts KJ>Barbie Doll. I bought a funny card. Once everything was prepared for KJ>delivery, I went to her work. She was not aware that I was there, so KJ>I caught her completely off guard. I walked up and said, "Excuse me, KJ>are you Debbie?" She turned as she said, "Yes", and saw me. I KJ>immediately said, "Valentine's Express, Happy Valentine's Day!" Gave KJ>her the card & gift, blew her a kiss and was immediately on my way KJ>out the door. The whole event took less than 30 seconds. KJ> The look on her face was one of surprise, then one of KJ>sorrow, as if she was thinking, 'Oh boy, I have been treating this KJ>guy like dirt and he still cares enough to send me a Valentine. Has she said anything to you? Thank you, go away, etc.? KJ> My question to you is this. If you were in a similar KJ>situation, and a man you cared for did this kind of thing, how would KJ>you feel, what would you be thinking, and what would you do about it? KJ> I await your response. ASAP please? I'm not sure if you mean if a guy was treating me the way this girl is treating you, what would I do or if you mean if I was treating the guy the way this girl is treating you and he did what you did so I'll try to answer both ways. 1. I have had a guy treat me that way and for a long time, I was here for him until I got tired of knocking my head against a brick wall. I realized that if he really cared about me the way he claimed he did, he would have dumped the other woman completely and have me and his friends keep her away from him so he wouldn't be bothered or scared of her. 2. First, I would NEVER treat a guy (or anyone for that matter) that way. I have had guys that liked me and wanted me to go out w/them by buying me things and it made me feel funny as I felt I didn't deserve it as we weren't a couple and I have always been up front about it. The thing I would do about it is give the gift back and sincerely tell him that I want him as a friend only therefore it wouldn't be right to accept the gift. Kurt? I don't know this girl and I don't know the whole story of why she's scared of this other guy, etc. but if I were you and a man did this to me as bad as she's doing, I would go on w/my life w/out him in it. I hope I've helped. Just don't drink over this, it's not worth it. Your friend, Kitty P.S. Let me know how things are going. Thank you for letting me try to help. :)). ___ * POW 1.1 On Trial * GLYSDI --- Maximus/2 3.01 * Origin: PC Emporium BBS * Boca Raton, FL * 407-994-3690 (1:3638/5) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D2P00019 Date: 02/17/96 From: KITTY JONES Time: 02:41pm \/To: SOBER SWEDE (Read 0 times) Subj: Get Well Soon We haven't talked in quite some time. SS> I'm going in the hospital tomorrow morning for some SS>surgery. I'm getting nervous about now. Getting nervous is normal. I hope all is ok. My prayers are w/you. ___ * POW 1.1 On Trial * GLYSDI --- Maximus/2 3.01 * Origin: PC Emporium BBS * Boca Raton, FL * 407-994-3690 (1:3638/5) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D2P00020 Date: 02/17/96 From: KITTY JONES Time: 03:00pm \/To: ADAM BINDER (Read 0 times) Subj: Serenity Prayer! AB>Well there is no one hear to write too, so I suppose I will start. My AB>name is Adam and I am an alcoholic.. Been sober for 9 months now, AB>and it is really a true blessing.. I want to make friends in this AB>echo so please send me back some email!! Someone!! They say it only AB>takes 2 to have a meeting.. I have been in aa now for 5 years AB>or so in and out.. I am 26 years old and I am married, via a 4 month AB>old baby girl.. Marriage is really a struggle in recovery especially AB>when you trying to stay sober at the same time.. Are there any women AB>out there in recovery who can share with me a little bit on how to AB>get a long better with my spouse who is also an alcoholic in AB>recovery? Try going to different Alanons meeting as well as your AA meetings. I started in Alanon and it was wonderful and has really helped me w/the other alcoholics in my life. Another thing that will help you both is to stay out of each others way, what I mean by that is: Don't do her steps for her and vice a versa, don't try to be each others sponsor, etc. AB>God has trully blessed me with a spiritual experience my daughter being born I feel the same about my son being born. It was a touch delivery til they finally decided (after hours of hard labor) to do a C-section as my son wouldn't get pass my pelvic bone. It's a mircle we are both here and doing ok. That was 12 years ago. :) AB>supporting all of us on about 400.00 dollars a week. It was really AB>tough, but God saw us through it all, my needs were met thank AB>goodness. Being a single mom since my son was 3 months old, I know what you mean. I thank God every day for his blessings. AB> Went into a serious manic depressive state for about a year after that. Heck, the depression almost killed me on top of the booze.. You know how in an aa meeting people say it is getting better for them pretty quick after a few months of sobriety? Well not for me, my consequeses are still there. Creditors, emotional problems, etc.. But I am really trying to use the steps to work out my life, it is a very slow process but it is working.. I would really like to have a friend online.. I will continue sharing my experience, strength and hope later if I can get some responses.. Soon!! Adam B.. A definite Friend of Bills!! < thats my tagline > Seeya! I went into a depression last year and it was scary as I have been sober for about 3 years then and I had thought things were suppose to be alot better, not the same or worse. It took my sponsor and friends in the program awhile to help me out of that depression. Now, even though things aren't that much better (especially financially) I'm learning to live w/it and just do the best I can one day at a time. Your friend, Kitty P.S. Hope to hear from you again. ___ X POW 1.1 On Trial X GLYSDI --- Maximus/2 3.01 * Origin: PC Emporium BBS * Boca Raton, FL * 407-994-3690 (1:3638/5) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D2P00021 Date: 02/17/96 From: KITTY JONES Time: 03:10pm \/To: PAT WINSTANLEY (Read 0 times) Subj: Growing up PW>You know, this struck home for me this morning, as I am in PW>the middle of a week long battle with my 12 year old son. PW>He insists he's old enough and responsible enough to have PW>more freedom of choice about his own life. I agree with PW>him. I insist that with the freedom come responsibilities. PW>He doesn't agree with me! :-) You and your son sound just like me and my son. I feel bad for you, but am also glad that I'm not the only one going through this w/my son who will be 12 years old in a few days. It's nice to know I have someone whom I can share this with and hope you feel the same way. PW>I watch him trying to strike the right balance between the PW>two as he goes through adolescence, and in him see my own PW>problems of balance mirrored. The wild see-saw of emotions PW>during puberty isn't that different from the wild see-saw PW>of emotions when trying to overcome an addiction. PW>He still wants to be a child, but he wants to be grown-up PW>too. It's hard to learn that you can't always be the one PW>you fancy at any particular time. Or perhaps that's what PW>growing up is really about... a time and a place for PW>everything? You and I sound so much alike. I don't have any answers either and would really love to hear others w/suggestions for Pat and myself. Thanks :). ___ * POW 1.1 On Trial * GLYSDI --- Maximus/2 3.01 * Origin: PC Emporium BBS * Boca Raton, FL * 407-994-3690 (1:3638/5) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D2P00022 Date: 02/19/96 From: KITTY JONES Time: 12:01am \/To: TOAD STRANGLER (Read 0 times) Subj: Relationships suck, but. TS> Try to remember that you seek what you know. If all you have TS>known are ****ty relationships with guys like the one you mentioned, TS>work on NOT looking for that kind of person. It took me 3 years to TS>break away from that kind of relationship; I got to the point in my TS>life after the first date and talking to TS>the other person if it was going to be someone I wanted to see TS>again. Usually in most cases I remained friends. TS> I met my husband through a free bbs account in Oklahoma while TS>he was here in Kansas City. We exchanged mail and so forth for TS>several months and he came down to visit on his vacation. My point TS>with this is that I knew so much about him without having to worry TS>about looks and so forth. To me he is a god send for many reasons :) TS> Hope your journeys get brighter :) Hi TS, thanks. maybe that's how I'll meet a husband for me. :) ___ * POW 1.1 On Trial * GLYSDI --- Maximus/2 3.01 * Origin: PC Emporium BBS * Boca Raton, FL * 407-994-3690 (1:3638/5) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D2P00023 Date: 02/19/96 From: JANE KELLEY Time: 07:20am \/To: ANTHONY DEFILIPPI (Read 0 times) Subj: Question? AD>JK>Depends. I hit my patients with a lot of education beginning when they AD>JK>first come through the door. Some of it sticks, and if enough of it AD>JK>does, then in around 6-8 weeks I have broken through their denial. AD>maybe that's what I needed then.. it is hard to say what a person needs nd AD>doesn't need.. some people seem to be able to get through that denial AD>easier than others... and I am happy that you can break through to that AD>denial.. it isn't an easy task.. There have been studies done about how much anyone retains of what one hears. The answer is "very little". And these studies were done on college students who were allegedly sober at the time. So, those who have brains that are fogged with drugs will have lots of trouble getting any messages at all. Those same messages have to be repeated over and over again until they seep in. One time will not get the job done. I used to rotate the subjects every so often and then present some new material. The idea of presenting a new step each month in A.A. is actually a very good one, except that some folks get only once conference on this and that is the 12th step one. Another needs to be on the same bb to take care of the topics that arise. I was taught by my old timers that no question is stupid and none should remain unanswered. * SLMR 2.1a * God is a comic playing to an audience afraid to laugh. --- JCQWK * Origin: The Moody Blues BBS, Graham, WA (360) 893-3101 (1:138/155) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D2P00024 Date: 02/19/96 From: JANE KELLEY Time: 07:20am \/To: ELAINE LOVELESS (Read 0 times) Subj: Question? EL>bunch of hogwash! Having a Master's degree in special education, I've EL>taken a fair number of psychology courses myself, ever heard of EL>self-fullfilling prophecy? Well, if you tell a person something long EL>enough and hard enough, they will begin to believe it! Have had EL>students in my class that were recovering alcoholics and we've sat and EL>talked one alcoholic to another sharing our experience, strenght and EL>hope......and because I was willing to share that I was an alcoholic, EL>and let them know that I had been there and done those things too, we EL>could reach a common ground...that to me is what this program is EL>about..... Sorry, but your degree didn't begin to touch upon the subjects that I am talking about. If you want information, real information, about how the brain and body actually do interact, not just the various myths that have been perpetuated over the years, then call Cortex at (415) 949-0401. They can even tell you why being altruistic has an effect on brain chemistry and what physical benefits are the result of sharing our experience, strength and hope with each other. Then there's the passage in the Big Book that says "-that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind". In short, it isn't enough to stop drinking, go to A.A., stuff oneself full of the candy that used to be in dishes on the tables in the 1970's and lace one's coffee with sugar. It isn't enough to stop drinking and use the other substances that will lead to other addictions. And it isn't enough to ignore the real fact that many alcoholics also have severe food allergies or have other physical problems. Or, to tell a diabetic not to use insulin or a bipolar not to take lithium. * SLMR 2.1a * Short term thinking can lead to long term disasters. --- JCQWK * Origin: The Moody Blues BBS, Graham, WA (360) 893-3101 (1:138/155) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 231 RECOVERY Ref: D2Q00000 Date: 02/18/96 From: TIM DILL Time: 08:57pm \/To: LINDA GLOVER (Read 0 times) Subj: Question? On (13 Feb 96) Linda Glover was mumbling to Tim Dill... LG> No intrusion taken, Tim. Thanks! No problema.... Tim... ... "Try not. Do, or do not! There is no try!" - Yoda --- PPoint 2.00 * Origin: Nuclear Waste Software /*\ We Glow Too! (1:102/749.2)