--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3L00004Date: 03/16/97 From: DESIREE LOUVRE Time: 07:00pm \/To: REGINA FINAN (Read 1 times) Subj: any ideas????? -=> While eating Chocolate, Desiree had this to say: <=- RF> Also, either he dislikes his brother alot or (and this is the one I RF> suspect) he is trying desperately to keep his brother from making the RF> same mistakes as himself. He is probably trying to make him a better RF> person than himself. Not that I agree to what he is doing mind you. No it's more like he likes the feeling that authority gives him... even though his father and I didn't relinquish any. RF> If it were me, I would probably give him ultimatums. First off, you RF> say he is going to school. Is this high school? You may try writing RF> a contract with him telling him to abide by the rules or get out. I RF> am a firm believer in this rule at that age. My children all know RF> they have to move at 18. Unless they are in school. If they are not RF> (even if they quit at 16) they will then need to get a job and pay RF> rent and so forth. I intend not to be easy on them as the world RF> outside is not easy. We had been all through this one too! :( RF> forth. They have to make the choices at that age. We may hate them, I can never say that no matter how mad I have been with David that it has never come down to hating him. I have gotten awfully angry with him, but no different than if Cory was 18 right now and pulling the same things with a younger sibling. RF> we may feel they are making the biggest mistake there is, but we have RF> to let them go. At David's age he is hurting the little one more than Ron has a problem with this... I told him to look at it as a new door. RF> he knows, and he is old enough to take the consequences for his RF> actions. Let him know this. Earlier today I took the kids and went out while Ron talked with David. They were able to resolve some things and come to and understanding and remain friends. Ron decided it was time David was on his own, so April 15th or thereabouts he will be moving out with his girlfriend into their own place. The two of them have been planning this for a while. The blessing is that both Ron and I like his girlfriend and she seems to have a good head on her shoulders. Time will tell. As for myself... I'm feeling rather overwhelmed right now. RF> This is only my opinion, it may seem harsh, but sometimes harsh RF> lessons make the best children. Good Luck. It's not harsh. And thankyou. Take care, Desiree ... If you don't run your own life, somebody else will. ___ Blue Wave/386 v2.30 [NR] --- Maximus/2 2.01wb * Origin: TASH Online Disability Resource 604 856-3661 (1:153/316) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3L00005Date: 03/16/97 From: DESIREE LOUVRE Time: 06:54pm \/To: BOB MOYLAN (Read 1 times) Subj: Behavior -=> While eating Chocolate, Desiree had this to say: <=- BM> Desiree Louvre (On 12 Mar 97) was overheard expounding to Regina BM> Finan DL> only for one hour. His father has the theory that Cory needs to vent DL> his hyper-ness through the sega! I only see it as stimulating him DL> overmuch. BM> Which way does he flop after playing with the Sega? Is he more BM> active/mouthy, the same or less? (not based on just one or two BM> "observations") He gets more mouthy and physically active. This is why I believe it is not an outlet for his energy. DL> This is not what he needs. Which is why I like the Sim City DL> idea. (We picked up Sim Earth last weekend, have you seen it yet? DL> It's really neat!) With SC Cory would be forced to slow down, DL> concentrate, plan... etc. instead of him getting all revved up DL> and being disruptive. BM> I'd like to hear about how this goes with him. I'm not sure that BM> anyone with true ADD/ADHD can be "forced" to concentrate or plan BM> ahead in anything unless it is of really high interest to _them_, in BM> which case their interest in it wouldn't require any external BM> coercion. I'd be looking for solid signs that he is interested and BM> if not be ready for the possibility of "revving up". As a matter of fact, his doctor thought this was an excellent idea. He was never really all for the Sega anyway. I will let you know how this goes though. Right now Cory and his sister are playing Hexxagon... another strategy game. They both really like the game. Desiree ... Never attack a dragon with a pointy stick. ___ Blue Wave/386 v2.30 [NR] --- Maximus/2 2.01wb * Origin: TASH Online Disability Resource 604 856-3661 (1:153/316) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3L00006Date: 03/15/97 From: DESIREE LOUVRE Time: 07:31am \/To: RAYMOND MARTIN (Read 1 times) Subj: well... -=> While eating Chocolate, Desiree had this to say: <=- RM> Well how about sending him to JobCore ...they will give If Canada had military schools like the ones there we would have sent him a long time ago. And because his father and I aren't *legally* married yet (August 2nd) then we couldn't send him to my father to do the arrangements for this to happen. My father lives in Philly. RM> him a place to stay and an education...while he is in RM> school he will also earn money... RM> I would love to talk to him.. If I believed *anyone* could talk some sense into him, I would more than happy relay a message... but (lately) he has been quite ballistic. I don't know what his father said to him about dealing with Cory (the 7 year old with ADHD) but since then he's not been talking to either one of us, and didn't come home last night. This is typical when he is mad... but it doesn't work... maybe if he was 13 it would... for a mminute. April is fast approaching! :) Take care, Desiree RM> ! Origin: The Wizards Realm BBS 1-713-946-7315 1:106/7315 (1:106/7315) BTW... where are you writing from??? ... Smile they said, it could be worse. So I did and it was. ___ Blue Wave/386 v2.30 [NR] --- Maximus/2 2.01wb * Origin: TASH Online Disability Resource 604 856-3661 (1:153/316) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3L00007Date: 03/17/97 From: RAYMOND MARTIN Time: 01:54am \/To: DESIREE LOUVRE (Read 1 times) Subj: well... *** Quoting Desiree Louvre to Raymond Martin dated 03-15-97 *** > -=> While eating Chocolate, Desiree had this to say: <=- > > RM> Well how about sending him to JobCore ...they will give > > If Canada had military schools like the ones there we would have sent > him a long time ago. And because his father and I aren't *legally* > married yet (August 2nd) then we couldn't send him to my father to do > the arrangements for this to happen. My father lives in Philly. > > RM> him a place to stay and an education...while he is in > RM> school he will also earn money... > RM> I would love to talk to him.. > > If I believed *anyone* could talk some sense into him, I would more > than > happy relay a message... but (lately) he has been quite ballistic. I > don't > know what his father said to him about dealing with Cory (the 7 year > old > with ADHD) but since then he's not been talking to either one of us, > and > didn't come home last night. This is typical when he is mad... but it > doesn't work... maybe if he was 13 it would... for a mminute. > > April is fast approaching! :) > > Take care, > Desiree > > RM> ! Origin: The Wizards Realm BBS 1-713-946-7315 1:106/7315 > (1:106/7315) > > BTW... where are you writing from??? > > I am calling from Houston...:) If he is not comming home then go ahead and pack up his stuff and change your locks...then make him sign a behavior contract to get back in...that way if he does not follow he will hwve to face the results... Stafflex@Juno.com --- T.A.G. 2.7c Standard * Origin: The Wizards Realm BBS 1-713-946-7315 1:106/7315 (1:106/7315) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3M00000Date: 03/17/97 From: MARYANN KOCHANKO Time: 08:56pm \/To: DESIREE LOUVRE (Read 1 times) Subj: any ideas????? > Actually, his father and he had it out today, and David will be moving > in with his girlfriend April 15th or thereabouts. It's time, his father > told him. Well, hang in there only 4 more weeks to go. Just hold on to your principles, not always easy. MaryAnn --- FMail 1.0g * Origin: (1:267/124.1) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3N00000Date: 03/16/97 From: MARK PROBERT Time: 04:48pm \/To: MOONSHADOW (Read 1 times) Subj: Re: ad(h)d MOONSHADOW was thinking about Re: ad(h)d and keyed into cyberspace: M> M> Hello Jacky! Glad your here! I can take all the advice you can M>offer. I have a 10yo daughter who is ADD/ADHD and I can't get her M>teachers to help her at all. In fact they tell her to lay her head on M>the desk and just rest, they don't care if she does anything. They M>have already told her she has flunked fourth grade. What kind of M>advice can you give me and what kind of words of encouragement can I M>give her? Thanks for your time! :) If you live in the US, is this child classified special ed? If not, why not? If she is, then YOU as the parent have the right to reconvene the committee that classified her. Discuss this with the committee. If that does not work...go to the school board. Go to the newspapers. ===>Mark Probert<=== mark.probert@juno.com --- * CMPQwk #1.4 * UNREGISTERED EVALUATION COPY * Origin: PC BBS : Massapequa, NY : (516)795-5874 (1:2619/110) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3N00001Date: 03/15/97 From: REGINA FINAN Time: 12:42pm \/To: DESIREE LOUVRE (Read 1 times) Subj: Re: Punishment -=> Quoting Desiree Louvre to Regina Finan <=- DL> We have been thinking now about private schooling. At my son's last DL> review meeting it became evident that the public school system couldn't DL> feed him academically fast enough. I fear that if he is continued to DL> slow down in this way he will get bored and lose interest. So far he DL> *loves* school and actually has a fit if he has to stay home sick! I think my daughter would have been that way. She was starting to get bored. The school district really didn't have a gifted program. They would have had to promote her a grade and that is not what she would have needed. Now the school district I am in now does. They have another school they ship the kids to. RF> But because we insist on them seeing that they fight tooth and nail. RF> The year 2000 is only 3 years away. I don't think you are going to RF> see massive improvements, but I will say I do see some changes taken RF> place. I think it is going to take another 10 years until that RF> generation of educational bureaucrats are replaced by the more RF> knowledgable and aware educators. DL> I'm hoping it doesn't take that long... but by then our children will DL> be conditioned by the present school system. I have decided I will do DL> all I can through and with CHADD to change the school system, sooner DL> rather than later. With the organization in the city I would presume that they will be able to help. We have an advocate group here. Not exactly in the city, but near. They are looking for more volunteers. I wanted to join, but things right now just got too busy. I do want to join though. There training program is for two months, twice a week. You become a parent advocate for schools, hospitals, and support person to do some in home support. I think all they would probably need to teach me is about the law and I have most of that down myself. I am a support person already to a few. My husbands laughs as I get on the phone and sometimes have to talk a parent down from all the stress for 2 hours. Not that he laughs at them just that I give so much and I generally hate to talk on the phone. I only stay on the phone that long for support. Otherwise I am off the phone in 5 minutes. DL> With alot of work by parents is the only way it can change. Yeah, when I gave up on the school system and decided to homeschool I was still pretty naive on how to fight them. I'm not now. In some ways I wish I hadn't given up, but then again I love homeschooling my kids so maybe I would have ended up doing it anyway. Regina ... All I need is a Wave and a board to surf it on. --- * Origin: Nite Lite BBS (1:2410/534) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3N00002Date: 03/15/97 From: REGINA FINAN Time: 08:10pm \/To: DESIREE LOUVRE (Read 1 times) Subj: Re: Cory -=> Quoting Desiree Louvre to Regina Finan <=- DL> Hi there, DL> We just got back from the doctor a few hours ago. He is coming off the DL> meds he is on now. At least spring break is next week. We're DL> going to get a new base line for him... I suspect that since we have to DL> wean him off the clonidine (this will take about 9 days) and then the DL> Nortryp- tiline ,which will take longer... it's going to be a bumpy DL> ride! Cory was on the Nortriptyline for 13 months and the Clonidine for DL> 8 months. Long enough to know if they will continue to work... DL> fortunately, this time Cory exhibited some of his behavior in the DL> doctor's office! I would rather the doctor *see* his behavior DL> for himself. But all in all he did rather well anyway. The bus ride Well thats good. At least the doctor knows its not just your imagination. Which is what it feels like when you tell someone things about your kid and then they go and make you a liar and behave so well. DL> was quick and it was still early enough in the day. We have no idea DL> yet what he will be going onto next but we discussed the prozac and DL> that is a possibility. (Partly be- cause it works so well for me.) DL> There isn't much literature regarding children and the use of Prozac. I DL> think Cory's doctor will contact the ADHD research team up at Simon DL> Fraser University to see what info they have. Some of the meds that DL> were mentioned in this echo are not avail- able in Canada yet... so we I always thought the states were slow at approving meds. Well maybe the research team may have a better answer for him. I'm not real crazy about the prozac. It is only cause of some of the things I heard. They may not even be true, but the doctor suggested my daughter go on it last year and she refused. She deals with herself without anything. DL> can't even try those. It seems that Ritalin is fast *not* becoming the DL> drug of choice anymore and more and more doctors are turning to DL> anti-depressants. The one Cory's doctor did mention was Zoloft. Gotta I new a few people who took that and said it didn't do anything for them, but they weren't taking it for ADHD they were taking it for depression. DL> get out my handy books, reference and cross reference. Alot of it will DL> depend what the half life is... the longer the half life (in the past) DL> the more likely it would help for a longer period of time for Cory. We DL> also discussed the punishment issue in regards to children with and DL> without ADD/ADHD. It seems that I have 100% backup of his doctor in DL> this regard for Cory (with the school). DL> Well, gotta go. My little munchkin will be home any minute! :) :) Thats good it helps to know you have a professional on your side. And mines home and its not been a good day. Smart mouth day, noooooooo two days now. Gosh I can't keep track anymore. DL> Take care, You too. Regina ... A feature is a bug with seniority. --- * Origin: Nite Lite BBS (1:2410/534) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3N00003Date: 03/18/97 From: WALTER FIVE Time: 06:22am \/To: SARA KONOPINSKI (Read 1 times) Subj: Punk *** Quoting Sara Konopinski to All dated 03-05-97 *** > Does anyone here live in Austin Texas? > > *!* Michiana Mail Center > * Origin: CW Technical Support - South Bend, IN - (219) 272-8129 > (1:227/129) No, but I'm in Houston, two hours away, and I get in to Austin from time to time, why? Ciao! Walter Five --- T.A.G. 2.7c Standard * Origin: The Wizards Realm BBS 1-713-946-7315 1:106/7315 (1:106/7315) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3N00004Date: 03/15/97 From: LUCIA JAMESON Time: 11:11pm \/To: DESIREE LOUVRE (Read 1 times) Subj: Re: any ideas????? -=> Quoting Desiree Louvre to All <=- DL> Hi all... DL> I wonder if anyone has any suggestions for this problem we've been DL> having in regards to the way our 18 year old bosses around my 7 year DL> old who is ADHD. Boy, does this sound familiar. The main difference is that our teenager has ADHD. What does Dad think about all this? Has he sat down with your 18 yr old and made it clear that he needs to stay out of the middle of things? When Jesse (the 17 1/2 yr old) butts in when I am dealing with Kris (the 11 yr old) I normally tell him calmly (or sometimes not ) that the situation is between Kris and me and that he is not invited into the middle of it. Then I ignore him and go back to Kris. Sometimes he doesn't get the "hint" and I have to tell him to leave the room until we are finished. Now I have found that Kris will sometimes try to get into the middle when I am disciplining Jesse. When that happens I do the same thing...tell him that the situation is between Jesse and me and that he is not invited into the middle of it. He is usually faster on the uptake than Jesse, but that might be because he is not ADHD. We still have problems with Jesse getting bossy with Kris, but it hasn't been too bad lately as Kris has learned that he can tell Jesse to take a hike and then steadfastly ignore the verbal background noise. He will also get up and leave the room and leave Jesse talking to himself. DL> Any suggestions... other than kicking out the 18 year old. He's DL> planning on moving out with his girlfriend sometime in April (if the DL> relationship lasts that long), but in the meantime, he will still be DL> here throwing his weight around. Again, it is hard for him to throw his weight around if you and your husband refuse to put up with it. If you advise him that he must follow your rules if he wants to continue living at your house, would the 18 yr old move or try to behave? I hope this helped...at least in letting you know that you are not the only one with this type of problem. You will even find it in families without ADHD kids. Cheers, Lucy Jameson ... Got to go! Dinner's fighting & the kids are burnin --- Blue Wave/QWK v2.10 --- InterEcho 1.11 * Origin: The Cheshire Cat BBS, Huber Heights OH, U.S.A. (1:110/1035)