-----------------------ps a lot of prayer helps---------------------- ----------------------------celtic druid----------------------------- --- ViaMAIL!/WC4 v1.30 * Origin: Permian Basin Play Room BBS 1:3808/11.0 Midland, Tex 1:3808/11) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3H00007Date: 03/12/97 From: DESIREE LOUVRE Time: 08:20am \/To: REGINA FINAN (Read 1 times) Subj: Re: Behavior RF> I don't care much for Sega and the like. They usually only make RF> destructive type games. Sim City is pretty good because it uses their RF> creativity. Well, Cory is allowed the Sega now *only* if he is co-operating, and only for one hour. His father has the theory that Cory needs to vent his hyper- ness through the sega! I only see it as stimulating him overmuch. This is not what he needs. Which is why I like the Sim City idea. (We picked up Sim Earth last weekend, have you seen it yet? It's really neat!) With SC Cory would be forced to slow down, concentrate, plan... etc. instead of him getting all revved up and being disruptive. DL> meds... Cory's behaviour has been steadily deter- iorating since before DL> Christmas. Here we go again. I dread the weaning off period. :( DL> Cory is on Clonidine for ODD as well as Nortriptyline for the ADHD. DL> Lord knows what will be next since we have tried Ritalin (3 times), DL> Pemoline, Imipramine, and Thioridazine. The problem Cory has had with DL> alot of meds is that he is hypersensitive to begin with, alot of the DL> meds exagerate this condition... which is why the Nortriptyline was DL> chosen. It doesn't play havoc with these sensitivities. Do you know of RF> My children are on nothing. Like kids on meds they have their good RF> days and their bad. Jeremy is also ODD but he is slowly getting the RF> picture on what I expect. Actually he is becoming better lately. Of RF> course, its probably just a phase and he will probably show his colors RF> anytime now. GRIN! I know what you mean. Usually Cory's really good days are punctuated my *extremely* bad days... and no set pattern to them. If there was a pattern of some description we could prepare. ;) But then again if there was one we could probably figure out how to avoid the bad days/weeks all together! :\ DL> any children who are taking prozac? What were the results? It is an DL> option because I am on it and it has worked wonderfully for me for 3 DL> years now. RF> I don't know of any, but I heard and mind you this is only rumor, RF> that if their is a streak of violence in your personality that prozac RF> is not the choice drug. Then again I know of two adults taking it Really? hmmmm... I saw a book in the drugstore last week written by a doctor about Prozac. I think I'll buy it... doesn't hurt to have more reference books around... like I *need* more! I'm getting quite the library now. RF> with violent streaks and it works great. Go figure. Try to remember RF> that winter is a bad time for these kids. Even though they can go out RF> some it still isn't good enough. Seasonal depression is usually noted RF> in the winter months so his behavior could be because of the winter. This year we were watching for it. He always starts to worsen just before Christmas and it builds and builds until about April. I wasn't sure last year... but since I have SAD then there is a great possibility that my son does too. :( RF> I can't tell what state you are in by the origin line. I would have RF> to look it up in the nodelist, but if the state has real winter I bet RF> this is his problem. Believe it or not sunshine plays a role in our I live in Burnaby, British Columbia (it's right beside Vancouver). RF> mental stability. And no matter what kind of things there are to do RF> in the house it is not the same thing. I know. This is why I have been taking the prozac... at least one of the reasons. My depression is biological and I'm pretty sure as I became a teen the ADD progressed to manic like. It was horrible. I knew something was wrong but I just didn't know *what*. Three years ago when I finally went to the doctor we started to straighten some of this mess out. I spent the first 11 years in Calgary, Alberta. Winters were long but the difference between there and BC is the amount of sunshine. Alberta, even in the winter gets a heck of alot more sun than we do here. I loved the winters when I was very young, and remember the blindingness of the sun on the snow. Now I *feel* such a ontrast between the sunny and cloudy days... it gets worse as I get older. But this spring hasn't been too bad... yet. I'm one of those people (with SAD) who at one point in the summer gets really bad for about 3 weeks. I've resigned my- self to the fact that I will probably be on prozac or some other med for the rest of my life. Unless I move to New Mexico or someplace similar! Anyway... Cory has a psychiatrist appointment on friday. Lots of stuff to bring up, and figure out. It's not coming fast enough. BTW... we finally have a Chapter of CHADD opening up here in Burnaby. As it turns out Cory's psychiatrist will be one of the consulting doctors! (CHADD chapters are all over the lower mainland, that is what Greater Vancouver and all of it's outlying areas are called) but Burnaby never had one. Just one more thing to fill my non-existant free time. But for Cory I will always make the time, somehow. :) RF> I know several people using these methods and it has proved helpful. RF> Good Luck. Thanks. :) I wish his father could see that as clearly as I do. RF> ! Origin: Nite Lite BBS (1:2410/534) BTW... where are you writing from? Take care, Desiree ... All stressed out, and I'm out of chocolate! ___ Blue Wave/386 v2.30 [NR] --- Maximus/2 2.01wb * Origin: TASH Online Disability Resource 604 856-3661 (1:153/316) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3H00008Date: 03/13/97 From: STEPHEN KIRKPATRICK Time: 12:56am \/To: JOHN PUMMILL (Read 1 times) Subj: Expiration Warning On 03-08-97 07:08, John Pummill said to Stephen Kirkpatrick about Expiration Warning: SK> where the heck did you come up with this idea? If you would SK> do something as simple as read down a few lines from here you'll SK> see that I told Bob, amongst other things, "Heaven only knows I've been SK> wrong before though.......and close to dead wrong at that." JP> Just the tone to the messages. bit of truth there, John, thank you.....but for reasons that I'm taking up with Mark and Bob via email. JP> We are a small group here who have some children that require a JP> great deal of attention. By the time we have dealt with our kids, JP> the schools, neighbors, etc. the last thing any of us want is another JP> fight HERE. I sure won't disagree with you there. SK> It would seem, with all due respect, that your layman's SK> diagnosis is based in part on guesswork and/or assumptions. JP> Based on what you gave out. A theory can only come from the input data you have a valid point here. Thank you. JP> Fortunately David is not that mischievous or violent. JP> He did get the mania from his mother as did Mack in fair part. JP> and living the first five years of his life in a violent JP> atmosphere did not help. lot of similarities here John..... SK> view whatever it may be. Where have you come to the SK> conclusion that I find "everyone else inferior in their SK> opinions and education??" I'm getting pretty interested SK> in your sources here John. JP> Remember it is EASY to get off on the wrong electronic foot. certainly true. Heaven knows, as I've mentioned before, I have made, and do make mistakes. I may be a perfectionist....but in no way am I perfect....not even close. Just as importantly, I know I'll never achieve perfection. I wouldn't have admitted that twenty-five years ago. Like most people, I've grown up a little since then. ___ * PW * --- Maximus 3.01 * Origin: New Orleans P.C. Club (1:396/17) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3H00009Date: 03/13/97 From: STATELINER Time: 11:12am \/To: STEVE KRUZICH (Read 1 times) Subj: Re: Card Games SK> I am ADHD myself, and never had medication for it till I was 32 yers old. SK> until i was 30 i couldn't focus on my life and make the necessary decisions SK> to propell myself towards a successful career. I just could not see the tr SK> for the forrest so to speak. I know that since i started meds, I went from SK> a 18,000.00 year salary to 45,000.00 a year salary in a little over three SK> years. Just wondering, if life can change for ADHD people without the use of Meds.. Or is meds just the last alternative? I believe I have some problems with ADHD but would really like be able to control them without drugs. Not that I am against drugs. Just had a doctor, switch my daughter drugs 3 times in ess then a year, only to find out that she may not even need them. Yes we fired him.. She doesn't suffer from ADHD however, she has similar problems. ctually she has the opposite problems, her concentration is too strong at times. hich I had that problem ;-).. Anyway!!!! SK> The point of all this is that Having to deal with problems of self esteem, SK> the numberone problem with the ADHD. Hell, the concentration problem seems SK> mild to me compared to the psychological trauma that comes with it. This SK> destruction of self esteem comes from constantly being in trouble for SK> everything you do, Other kids treating you like your a freak, constantly SK> gaining disapproval from your teachers and leaders. That one is major. I SK> speaking from experience. So if people around that person were educated to the fact that this person needs to have his self-esteem boosted, wouldn't that help. Like teach the teacher how to be more human like. Bet we could wipe out half of the self-esteem problems just my giving teachers better tools to teach with. Yeah we did teach many a teacher how to deal with our daughter. Begining to see enormous changes in the teachers. I believe we the parents have to step forward when the educators need education. Then the teacher could teach those student who treat other students like freaks, how to react differently. Of course this would depend on acceptance of this new insight on society in general... Good luck!!! However, anything is possible.... STATE@JUNO.COM --- GEcho 1.20/Pro * Origin: |17Special Friends BBS *Call Today* (602)838-0712 (1:114/508) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3I00000Date: 03/13/97 From: DESIREE LOUVRE Time: 08:08am \/To: RAYMOND MARTIN (Read 1 times) Subj: any ideas????? -=> While eating Chocolate, Desiree had this to say: <=- > > Any suggestions... other than kicking out the 18 year old. He's > planning > on moving out with his girlfriend sometime in April (if the > relationship > lasts that long), but in the meantime, he will still be here throwing > his > weight around. RM> Well what you need to do is lay down the law...does he use one of your RM> cars...take the keys away if he does not change his No. We only have one... and it is a company vehicle, and since David isn't all that responsible in the first place his father has not bothered to teach him how to drive... and would never give him the car keys. RM> ways...try to get help from a counciler...and when it comes RM> down to it let him know that if he does not change his ways RM> soon he will have to leave...that way you are not kicking Done this... he got his own room, etc... but he seems to think his rights supercede everyone else's. RM> him out he will do it him self because of the way he is RM> acting...does he have a job? This has been a big problem... he refuses to get one, and how he will live if/when he and his girlfriend move out together will be interesting! I suspect he will get a crash course in life/responsibility. Quite frankly it will look good on him. If he *was* working he would be home even less than he already is. When he was 16 he worked with his father making (sit down for this one) $15/hour!!! A month later he lost the job. It wasn't that it was too difficult (peeling vinyl off walls and general cleanup... vaccuming and sweeping and such) he was just too comfortable because his father and the boss are friends (sort of) too. His father has stopped giving him allowance because he refuses to do any chore (not like he *should* get allowance for cleaning his room and picking up after him- self). Anything we ask him to do he expects money for. But yet he won't get even a part time job! And he is of the opinion that without grade 12 he can walk into a $10/hour job... like his father did, but that was almost 30 years ago. I'm stumped. Desiree ... Madness takes its toll - please have exact change ___ Blue Wave/386 v2.30 [NR] --- Maximus/2 2.01wb * Origin: TASH Online Disability Resource 604 856-3661 (1:153/316) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3I00001Date: 03/13/97 From: DESIREE LOUVRE Time: 11:55am \/To: REGINA FINAN (Read 1 times) Subj: Punishment DL> Yes, it is sad. Don't you think that coming into the year 2000 that DL> the school system needs to (finally) adapt to ALL special needs RF> There is a rise of parents homeschooling now and I feel that the RF> school system is now starting to feel threatened. Not just because RF> parents are starting to pull their kids out of school, but because we RF> have choice education here (in Michigan at least). You can put your RF> children in another school district. This is making some of the Unfortunately, here in Burnaby, a parent has no choice... unless of course they want to move to another school district. :( RF> school districts start to wake up. When I pulled my kids out, I RF> didn't even get a reply to my letter I had sent them. Zippo. No RF> concern, no questions, nada. But I found out that 3 or 4 more parents RF> did the same thing. Their money is based on how many kids are there. I don't think that is the way it is here. The district is allotted so much money for the year. If one school doesn't need so much it can't be given to another school. So one school my son went to did tons of fund raising. The parents were nickle and dimed to death... the second school which is only 7 blocks away gave us a choice of a one time (yearly) tax deductible donation of $15... guess what the parents went for! This year has been minimal for expendatures with the school... I think I sent Cory with a total of $5 since September. The other school didn't want to give my son the aide he needed, (there was also a change in Principals at the beginning of the year) and the second school hasn't a problem with this. There was no questions going into grade 2. We have been thinking now about private schooling. At my son's last review meeting it became evident that the public school system couldn't feed him academically fast enough. I fear that if he is continued to slow down in this way he will get bored and lose interest. So far he *loves* school and actually has a fit if he has to stay home sick! RF> And if they haven't woken up by now they will in a year or so. I am RF> not saying that everyone should pull their kids out of school, but I RF> am saying "the squeaky wheel gets the grease". Not neccessarily so here. There is another parent who is labelled a B@@ch because she won't take *any* crap as far as her son is concerned. Why should she??? I'm sure I have been labelled this also. (Like it breaks my heart!!!) My children are my first priority... if the school board officials can't understand this then THEY are the ones with the problem. And if other parents benefit by my assertiveness then all the much better. At least their children won't have the same institution-child hassles. DL> children? And then what about the other kids (not many of them) who DL> just enjoy causing problems but have no signs of ADHD/ADD or anything DL> else. They just like rocking the boat because it is fun. They tear DL> apart routines too but seem to be forgotten when it comes to an ADHD DL> child and the staff reacts like they have never had behavior like this DL> before! (yeah, right... there's that selective memory again!) What RF> Most kids who's behavior is questionable are considered "bad kids". Here, I have noticed a subtle difference. Bad behavior is one thing, children with disabilities is another... and more likely to get the negative attention and are quicker at being forced out of school. Cory has been labelled as eing a danger to himself... this is the furthest from the truth. He is an overactive little boy who takes (some) risks... but in general is very gentle and kind. Breaking an arm is not being a danger to himself... RF> They do not consider there is a disorder. I have found that a child RF> who behaves unappropriate and the parents do nothing or say nothing RF> are problems, those of us who care and squeak the wheel generally have RF> kids with disorders. You would think they could tell the difference. Not unless someone hit them with it! RF> But because we insist on them seeing that they fight tooth and nail. RF> The year 2000 is only 3 years away. I don't think you are going to RF> see massive improvements, but I will say I do see some changes taken RF> place. I think it is going to take another 10 years until that RF> generation of educational bureaucrats are replaced by the more RF> knowledgable and aware educators. I'm hoping it doesn't take that long... but by then our children will be conditioned by the present school system. I have decided I will do all I can through and with CHADD to change the school system, sooner rather than later. DL> drives me absolutely batty is here in Burnaby it says on the jacket of DL> the report card... "The purpose of BC's School System is to DL> enable all learners to develop their individual potential and DL> to acquire the know- ledge, skills, and attitudes needed to DL> contribute to a healthy, democratic and pluralistic society and DL> a prosperous and sustain- able economy." RF> Yes, I have seen many of the so called statements educators give. I RF> truly believe for the most part they mean it, unfortunately we still RF> have dis- crimination based on handicaps here. Hopefully it will RF> change. With alot of work by parents is the only way it can change. Desiree RF> ... "Transporter chief Louvre, beam the landing party to the bridge" Actually I'd like to beam the whole lot of them out into space! Take care. ... Never attack a dragon with a pointy stick. ___ Blue Wave/386 v2.30 [NR] --- Maximus/2 2.01wb * Origin: TASH Online Disability Resource 604 856-3661 (1:153/316) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3I00002Date: 03/12/97 From: SEAN BROWN Time: 04:00pm \/To: KETIRA (Read 1 times) Subj: Re: and my daughter heylo....My Name is Sean Brown and I also Have ADD, i can assure you in the fact that most children with ADD and ADHD do eventually grown out of it. I have had ADHD and when i think back about it, I never thought anything was wrong. Then I was diagnosed with ADD, I thought my world was falling apart. i began to lose interest with the normal world. I became very...VERY lax in my school work. I eventually became very irratable and struck out at my brother's and parents, I then started on Ritalin, and started seeing a psychiatrist. Now i am not saying you have to do all this to solve your problems with your daughter. what I am saying is that you need to help her sort out what is going on with her life: try to understand where she is coming from. try to ignore the small irritances she provides and concentrate on the larger problems like school work, have fun with your daughter as much as possible. Also: tell her some famous people that have had ADD: like Albert Einstein and other brilliant people as one advantage of ADD i have found is that you tend to have a higher understanding of some things and different ideas about how to solve a problem. I will tell you that I have an especially nasty case (?) of ADD and it is not pleasant some times. One last thing: Read some books or buy some that are about ADD and ADHD, This will help you understand what is going on inside your child's mind and have the ability to understand what is happening... Sean Brown dd700@freenet.carleton.ca --- Maximus/2 3.01 * Origin: Hyper BBS (613)257-7636 (1:163/557.2) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3I00003Date: 03/13/97 From: ROBERT_CANFIELD Time: 09:53pm \/To: ROBERT_CANFIELD (Read 1 times) Subj: Ping ping --- * Origin: 1:203/327 Node1 BBS Antelope, CA (916) 334-2053 (1:203/327) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: E3J00000Date: 03/14/97 From: RAYMOND MARTIN Time: 04:56pm \/To: DESIREE LOUVRE (Read 1 times) Subj: well... *** Quoting Desiree Louvre to Raymond Martin dated 03-13-97 *** > -=> While eating Chocolate, Desiree had this to say: <=- > > > > Any suggestions... other than kicking out the 18 year old. He's > > planning > > on moving out with his girlfriend sometime in April (if the > > relationship > > lasts that long), but in the meantime, he will still be here > throwing > > his > > weight around. > > RM> Well what you need to do is lay down the law...does he use one of > your > RM> cars...take the keys away if he does not change his > > No. We only have one... and it is a company vehicle, and since David > isn't > all that responsible in the first place his father has not bothered to > teach him how to drive... and would never give him the car keys. > > RM> ways...try to get help from a counciler...and when it comes > RM> down to it let him know that if he does not change his ways > RM> soon he will have to leave...that way you are not kicking > > Done this... he got his own room, etc... but he seems to think his > rights > supercede everyone else's. > > RM> him out he will do it him self because of the way he is > RM> acting...does he have a job? > > This has been a big problem... he refuses to get one, and how he will > live > if/when he and his girlfriend move out together will be interesting! I > suspect he will get a crash course in life/responsibility. Quite > frankly > it will look good on him. If he *was* working he would be home even > less > than he already is. When he was 16 he worked with his father making > (sit > down for this one) $15/hour!!! A month later he lost the job. It wasn't > that it was too difficult (peeling vinyl off walls and general > cleanup... > vaccuming and sweeping and such) he was just too comfortable because > his > father and the boss are friends (sort of) too. His father has stopped > giving him allowance because he refuses to do any chore (not like he > *should* get allowance for cleaning his room and picking up after him- > self). Anything we ask him to do he expects money for. But yet he won't > get even a part time job! And he is of the opinion that without grade > 12 > he can walk into a $10/hour job... like his father did, but that was > almost 30 years ago. > > I'm stumped. > > Desiree > > > ... Madness takes its toll - please have exact change Well how about sending him to JobCore ...they will give him a place to stay and an education...while he is in school he will also earn money... I would love to talk to him.. Stafflex@Juno.com --- T.A.G. 2.7c Standard * Origin: The Wizards Realm BBS 1-713-946-7315 1:106/7315 (1:106/7315)