--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: DA100009Date: 05/29/96 From: MICHAEL LODICO Time: 11:11am \/To: KAREN LONG (Read 2 times) Subj: RE: [2/2] SCHOOL On 19 May 96 01:46am, Karen Long wrote to Audra Mcmaster: >>>> Part 2 of 2... Hi Karen I was reading the msg. when I came across yours. I thought I was reading about my sons experience in school and what my wife and I went through with the IDIOTS in the school. What finally stopped the B...S... with them was when my wife got her R.N. degree. A few suttle hints about they could be charged with emotional abuse seemed to wake them up. BTW if your son has a doctors order to the school nurse to dispense his medication and she fails to give it you can file a complaint with the Nursing Board of Registration and her license could be in jeopardy. Also from what you described it sounds like you could hire an attorney for your son and go after the teachers that he has had, the principle, and the school board for emotional abuse that he has received at their hands. I don't believe there is a state that doesn't cover this type of abuse under the child protective laws and it is considered as a criminal act. The attorney could also pursue this as a civil complaint and seek monetary damages to defray the costs. I believe this is the reason that a lot of us are looking at and doing homeschooling because we won't tolerate the abuse from the school systems anymore. see ya Mike ... Power corrupts. Absolute power is for dragons + weremals. * Evaluation copy of Silver Xpress. Day # 304 * Silver Xpress V4.01 --- PCBoard (R) v15.22/5 * Origin: Pipeline BBS * Glasgow, KY * Fidonet (1:3615/51) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: DA100010Date: 05/30/96 From: AUDRA MCMASTER Time: 09:08pm \/To: NANCY MCVICKER (Read 2 times) Subj: Help! NM> That's correct. So now will you please stop your snide NM> comments about NM> the children of parents with opinions other than yours? You should take your own advice. NM> I haven't said one word about how you discipline your son. Short memory span huh? Just because we spank our child doesn't mean we abuse him. We wouldn't ridicule you for the way you deal with your child and you should try the same thing. What works with David works and what works with your child works for you. We are NOT trying to PUSH our way of dealing with this on anyone. NM> Perhaps you should be more careful in choosing your words, NM> to avoid NM> creating such misunderstandings about what you really do NM> believe. And I will throw your own advice right back in your lap... NM> The term "Attention Deficit Disorder(s)" covers the entire NM> range of ADD. NM> ADHD is a subset of ADD. Yes, it is a subset but is ALOT different. I can see how David is and he is ADHD and then I look at me and I am ADD and we are very different. NM> As I said, I have not made one single comment about how NM> *you* choose to NM> discipline *your* son. Nor have I made any about how *I* NM> discipline *my* NM> children. You are so full of shit. Stop trying to weasle your way out of the conversation that you started. NM> Stop making false assumptions and jumping to conclusions, NM> and you'll be NM> better able to communicate. As I said take your own advice and stay out of how we deal with David if you disagree with us. Unless you can say what you have to say without ridiculing us for the way we deal with David. --- FMail 0.94 * Origin: The Pit... Have You Dropped In Lately ?? (601)393-0512 (1:123/30) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: DA100011Date: 05/30/96 From: AUDRA MCMASTER Time: 09:33pm \/To: ALL (Read 2 times) Subj: Help! This is to all of you who have been reading the messages concerning us paddling David... I tried to stay out the discussion even though it was about David. But some things were said that were uncalled for and that is when I stepped in. I'm not trying to piss anyone in here off. We all have different ways of dealing with our childen and we are not trying to push our ways on anyone. We are here to learn. We talk to all of you to learn what works with you so that we can try different ideas and we share what we do with you. I understand that alot of you don't approve of the spankings. But every child is different. It works with David and alot of the time just the threat of a spanking works. I don't like to paddle my child. He is very special to me. I rarely do spank him. I'm not in here to fight with you over how I deal with my child. I am here to learn more about ADHD and the different ways to deal with it. Please remember... All childen are different and react differently to what you do. What works with one child doesn't mean it will work with them all. The key is to try different things until you find what works best and that is what I am doing. Sorry if I have pissed any of you off but somethings that were said were uncalled for. --- FMail 0.94 * Origin: The Pit... Have You Dropped In Lately ?? (601)393-0512 (1:123/30) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: DA100012Date: 05/29/96 From: REGINA FINAN Time: 11:25am \/To: JOHN PUMMILL (Read 2 times) Subj: Help! -=> Quoting John Pummill to Regina Finan <=- JP> Okay, we use many different forms of disclipine. If there is violence JP> or something that is non-acceptable social behavior the paddle is JP> used. (it is a last resort and often the only thing that does work) JP> The impression jumped on is that this has been David's main form of JP> disclipine, it has not. I am all for new ideas on what does work with JP> different children, sending him to his room does not work as he JP> continually comes out and we spend the whole disciplinary time sending JP> him back to his room. Time out in chairs does not work as he JP> continually gets up. Time out triggers fits at school because he is JP> singled out in front of the class. If we couple coming out of his room JP> with the thought of a paddling he stays in his room. My idea of JP> punishment is the same as anyone elses. You can look at using fear in JP> many ways (as I explained to Mark). The Bible uses fear to control the JP> masses as if do you not do right you will not go to Heaven. The laws JP> of the country are the measure of fear as if you break them you are JP> punished. (do you not speed because it is not right or because you are JP> scared you will get a ticket) All in your perspective of words, JP> Regina. We do not beat David and I am quite tired of being told that JP> he is abused because he is paddled. Ok, I see your point, but please understand I am not saying you are beating him. I was trying to understand when, why and how you discipline him. Parents have to discipline according to the child. I don't like to make rash judgements. If I came accross that way I do apologize. I like to try and get the whole picture and least as much as I can. It is not my place to judge you or any one else for that matter. But since we are all human beings you will find people do have opinions. I hope things are improving for you all and wish you the best of luck. Regina ... "What?!? This isn't the Files section?!?" --- * Origin: Nite Lite BBS (1:2410/534) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: DA100013Date: 05/29/96 From: REGINA FINAN Time: 11:31am \/To: JERRY SCHWARTZ (Read 2 times) Subj: ADD GENE -=> Quoting Jerry Schwartz to Regina Finan <=- JS> On May 24 08:19 96, Regina Finan of 1:2410/534 wrote to Jerry JS> Schwartz: RF> Yes, you wish your child didn't have this affliction. But you can deal RF> with it positively. You can turn that handicap into growth and love. RF> Other teenager don't have that. They go to school, live their lives apart RF> most of time without parents attention. Jerry does your son possibly have RF> ODD? I had a daughter who couldn't tell the difference from reality and JS> No, I don't think ODD is the answer; it may be OCD, if I had to take a JS> guess. Well I usually have a hard time remember some differences between the two. My children finally got their appointments. Now I can feel alittle more secure knowing that it won't be long now. Regina ... All I need is a Wave and a board to surf it on. --- * Origin: Nite Lite BBS (1:2410/534) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: DA100014Date: 05/29/96 From: REGINA FINAN Time: 11:43am \/To: MARK PROBERT (Read 2 times) Subj: Elated so far I wanted to thank you for giving that address of the chadd org. I did get a chance to go a friends house and get the one file about school. It really helped to see it in writing. I will get others later. This has been a wonderful week in spite of the fits and problems of school. I finally got the childrens appts. Jonathon will go May 31 and Jeremy June . It was too hard to get the appts together and I wanted it done as soon as possible. So I am pretty happy about that. It means I might possible be able to find out (somewhat) what makes these two tick or tock. I talked to the children about this testing and what some of my concerens were. Jeremy 5 minutes after the fight started a fit over nothing. Well I guess to him it was something. Bad choice of words. My husband then proceded to explain to him this is what we meant. That these fits are a problem and we need to find out why he has them. He became interested in what we had to say. My husband explained how we don't like to see him unhappy and that maybe there was a way for him not to feel bad sometimes and that was what we were going to find out. He was fine again. My husband has finally came around to my thinking. He is really calm with the kids now and seems to be pretty interested in all what is going on with this. I am glad as he has a bad temper himself and it is hard for him not to yell. I hate yelling it stress' everyone out. He went to group therapy for 3 years to learn why he had a bad temper. It helped with the physical stuff. He use to beat people up as a kid. His father started taking him to work at 11 to get him out of the neighborhood. He probably has it too, but who knows. He has been extra nice to me lately too. I guess he is realizing how hard these kids can be on me. He works long hours so he oesn't see everything and many times he works at nite. So Jonathon was suppose to have another IEPC meeting May 31 for his speech. The speech teacher finally called and we decided to cancel the meeting so we didn't have to close and than reopen his case. Actually she became quite nice and helpfull (probably realize I got her because he is being tested independently). She told me Jonathon is not motivated at all. He comes in with bad body language. Giving impressions of not wanting to be there and somewhat lethargic. She said he is not always showing up anymore. And that not being responsible is an ADD symptom. Well now she finally decides to agree with me. Whoa I mite have to have a beer now and celebrate. Well I know the battle is not won yet, but at least they are giving me a week or so of peace. She said she would talk to Jonathon's teacher so I hope she explains this a little. We talked about how I am using stop and start behavior techniques and she was really pleased how much I learned. Now maybe they just mite (probably too much to hope for) be more cooperative. She will have to write in her report that we are adjorning the meeting and why. Good now her boss will know. She also said that if they reccommend anything they will bring in the necessary people for the meeting. I guess at this point I can't asked for more. But I just mite bring in an advocate to the next meeting. We will see. Thanks for all the info and help. Gosh I feel really goo today. Regina ... Go straight to the docs. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200! --- * Origin: Nite Lite BBS (1:2410/534) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: DA100015Date: 05/30/96 From: MARK PROBERT Time: 07:23am \/To: JOHN PUMMILL (Read 2 times) Subj: Help! JOHN PUMMILL was thinking about Help! and keyed into cyberspace: JP>MP> Neither. I do not speed because it is unwise to do so in the JP>MP> type of JP>MP> traffic we have around here. JP> See the point, Mr. Smarty Pants. :) Around Memphis you either do the JP>10 to 15 over the posted limit or you get run over... Where do you JP>live ?? Long Island, home of the two hour rush hour. We invented traffic jams. Long Island has the longest, and thinnest parking lot in the world-the Long Island Expressway, about 60 miles long, three lanes wide, a/k/a I- 495. JP>MP> You mean he didn't come with an instruction manual? JP> The blasted thing is written in yiddish !!! My wife speaks Yiddish. We found it very helpful several years ago when we vacationed in Europe. It allowed us to get into some Jewish Temples and other locales as there is still a real deep seated fear of anti- semitism. (Watch the way I get this back on topic...) My oldest, who is my ADHDer, is preparing for his Bar Mitzvah in September. Fortunately, our Cantor has a daughter who is ADD and had a miserable time learning to read Hebrew. He developed methods to overcome her problems, and, along with having some other ADHD students, has become quite adept at teaching them how to read Hebrew. JP>MP> And, completely off topic, do you have any idea if there was JP>MP> a verdict JP>MP> in the school prayer case that arose in Ecru, Mississippi. JP> Have not heard anything yet. Next talk with the school system I will JP>check in with them for you. Thanks. ===>Mark Probert<=== email at MSProbert@aol.com --- * CMPQwk #1.4 * UNREGISTERED EVALUATION COPY * Origin: PC BBS : Massapequa,NY : (516)795-5874 (1:2619/110) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: DA100016Date: 05/30/96 From: MARK PROBERT Time: 09:06am \/To: NANCY MCVICKER (Read 2 times) Subj: In Tears NANCY MCVICKER was thinking about In Tears and keyed into cyberspace: NM>Again, ya coulda fooled me. Seems that every time you're in this NM>echo, you spend your time either attacking the medical profession or NM>telling people that ADD is "really" something else. Like seizures NM>(I'm one of the people you tried to convince, last time you visited NM>here, that I "really" had absence seizures, not ADD), or an obscure NM>form of thyroid disfunction. NM> > But don't spread the misinformation that either there are no NM> >risks that Ritalin is not in the stimulant class of drugs. Cathy. NM>I've never made either statement, dear heart. Don't put words into my NM>mouth. I know that's one of your much-used rhetorical devices -- NM>setting up straw men and attacking them. Nancy, E-mail me, please ===>Mark Probert<=== email at MSProbert@aol.com --- * CMPQwk #1.4 * UNREGISTERED EVALUATION COPY * Origin: PC BBS : Massapequa,NY : (516)795-5874 (1:2619/110) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: DA100017Date: 05/22/96 From: LINDA MORRISON Time: 09:42pm \/To: AUDRA MCMASTER (Read 2 times) Subj: adult adders Hey Audra! I would like to share about coping with ADD as an adult. To tell you the truth, I am worn out about children with ADD. I am 40 years old. I was officially diagnosed about 4 years ago. Before that I was labled a million other things. PMS, depression, and dizzy! What a relief after I was diagnosed! I was able to stop beating my- self up about things I honestly had no control over. The self destruction alone was killing me! I have a daughter who is now 18. When she was 6 she was diagnosed with ADHD at a special clinic. Before than her behavior was blamed on poor parenting skills. She remained on medication until she was 12. After that she moved away to live with her father. He did not believe in medicating her. To tell you the truth- I have not seen or heard from my daughter for 5 years. One of her worst ADD characteristic was her self-centeredness. She had trouble coping with the fact that her younger brother (now 13) is retarded. The attention was no longer centered around her and she couldn't stand to be around her brother. She was very spiteful and would hurt him to get even. Nothing real terrible but I could not leave her alone with him. So fill me in on your ADD and your daughter's info. Thanks for answering and I look forward to hearing from you again! --- Platinum Xpress/Win/Wildcat5! v2.0G6 * Origin: EastSide System : 407-337-1274 (1:3646/6) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: DA100018Date: 05/22/96 From: LINDA MORRISON Time: 09:50pm \/To: RYAN WILLIAMSON (Read 2 times) Subj: Just diagnosed Hi Ryan- Welcome to the "real" you. I was diagnosed about 4 years ago. I felt like I was born again. I finally had an understanding as to why I did things differently than most people. What books were you advised to read? What are the "things" that you relate to in the checklist? It is never too late! --- Platinum Xpress/Win/Wildcat5! v2.0G6 * Origin: EastSide System : 407-337-1274 (1:3646/6)