--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: D5W00013Date: 05/26/96 From: JOHN PUMMILL Time: 01:14pm \/To: NANCY MCVICKER (Read 2 times) Subj: JP> I am ready... NM> In my childhood, I watched a playmate be seriously injured NM> after he flew NM> over the handlebars of his bicycle and split his skull on NM> the edge of NM> the curb. It was a very long recovery, and he had residual NM> effects for NM> many years afterward. NM> Had bicycle helmets for children been available in our town, NM> most kids NM> would have been wearing one after that. Instead he COULD have been wearing a helment and transferred the bulk of the blow to his neck/spinal cord... (seen this one at an ABA BMX race in the late eighties) My point and yours ?? Nothing. You can take prevention but it is not a cure. What we are talking about is the bulk of small injuries known as bumps, bruises, and scrapes... something we dealt with as kids. NM> We were *not* sheltered. We were a bunch of latchkey kids NM> who rode miles NM> from our homes, roamed freely through the woods, climbed NM> trees, waded in NM> the rivers, and were expected to watch over our younger NM> siblings while NM> our parents worked. Exactly, do you allow your children the same chance to grow up ?? Most do not anymore. NM> I might wonder if you also oppose seatbelts, as most NM> children of a NM> previous generation managed to live without them? With the junk that is produced today... I reccomend at least a 8 point cage and a set of 5 point harnesses. (that was auto related sarcasm) I took the time to put seat belts (lap) into the 63 and we will do both 68s. The rest of the cars have the later model restraint systems. I am against child seats in air bag equipped vehicles as there is much danger involved here. I also advacate the use of seat belts when operating a lift truck. Now, for the record your attempt to connect bicycle helments and seat belts is quite rediculous. The average bike wreck ends in scrapes and bruises and is nowhere near the impact of two 3600+ pound vehicles slamming together at say 20 miles per hour. NM> Needs have not changed. But the awareness of risk factors NM> has. What you NM> don't know *can* hurt you. ...and when we were young our parents knew NONE of this and there was no lesson called "life" that we had to learn on our own... --- FMail 0.94 * Origin: The Pit... Have You Dropped In Lately ?? (601)393-0512 (1:123/30) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: D5W00014Date: 05/26/96 From: AUDRA MCMASTER Time: 10:27am \/To: REGINA FINAN (Read 2 times) Subj: school RF> You have the right to request his records in RF> writing and they have a certain amount of time to give it RF> to you. I would RF> sincerely look into these records as if they are lying to RF> the board their is no telling what is in the records also. I did. I went to the school and asked to see his records. I made a copy of what was in the folder and believe me there was literally nothing in his records. RF> Good Luck. Thanks. --- FMail 0.94 * Origin: The Pit... Have You Dropped In Lately ?? (601)393-0512 (1:123/30) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: D5W00015Date: 05/26/96 From: AUDRA MCMASTER Time: 10:30am \/To: NANCY MCVICKER (Read 2 times) Subj: 50 ADD Tips NM> I'll repost it sometime this week, after I get a chance to NM> edit and correct some errors. Ok, thanks I'll be watching for it. --- FMail 0.94 * Origin: The Pit... Have You Dropped In Lately ?? (601)393-0512 (1:123/30) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: D5W00016Date: 05/26/96 From: AUDRA MCMASTER Time: 11:03am \/To: NANCY MCVICKER (Read 2 times) Subj: Help! * NANCY MCVICKER was last heard rambling about: NM> ...are examples of your yourself doing this... NM> >trying to FORCE your parental behavior on others. Hold on. I've stayed out of this discussion up until now. David is my child and I don't like to spank him or send him to his room or anything else. But like has been said many times before "What works for your child does not mean it will work for mine". David is a very head strong child. He has a very strong temper and when he decides that he wants something he tries to get it at any cost and sometimes what he does calls for a spanking. 95% of the time David is just sent to his room, grounded, has his bike taken away or has his toys taken away. No one is trying to force our parental behavior on others. There is a line between what a child should and should not get away with. No child should be able to hit his or her parent (especially when the child is only 7 and is almost as big as his mother). What happens when the child is twice as big as the parent and decides to beat the shit out of the mother? I guess the mother is just suppose to sit there and take it sense it is so wrong to spank the child. Would you? I doubt it. I am 27 years old and 5'2''. David is 7 and VERY strong when one of his temper tantrums kick in. There is no way in hell I will sit there and let this child hit on me. What happens when the child is 17 and decides to beat up his mother. I know you would send him to jail. The spanking of him now is will more than likely keep that from happening. I don't know about you but I don't like the idea of sending my child to jail. I watched my mother do it and I don't want to go through those emotions. No one is pushing anything on you. We just happen to believe that in drastic times, drastic measures are called for. We DO NOT beat our child and never would. NM> Also: ADD is not synonomous with "bad behavior". Many of the NM> symptoms of ADD have nothing to do with "badness" I am ADD he is ADHD with a severe mood disorder. Plus he has some other problems. No ADD is not synonomous with "bad behavior", but (most) of the time it will come with uncontrollable mood swings which can be violent. I know because I am that way and so is David. We are trying to teach him to keep his under control. We do not spank him for everything he does wrong, we try to avoid that situation. NM> Many ADD kids are very well NM> behaved, when in control of their symptoms. When in control. He is not in control and is about to be hospitalized to help him get in control. I am here to learn more about my sons problems. I don't need to be put down or instructed on how to punish him. You can think what you like. He is a very lovable and happy child who knows if he does something to deserve a spanking he will get one if not then he won't. --- FMail 0.94 * Origin: The Pit... Have You Dropped In Lately ?? (601)393-0512 (1:123/30) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: D5W00017Date: 05/26/96 From: AUDRA MCMASTER Time: 08:26pm \/To: LAWRENCE DUMAS (Read 2 times) Subj: adult adders LD> I am also an adult (36) with ADHD and am interested in LD> conversing LD> with fellow adult ADD'ers. There seems to be a certain LD> dichotomy LD> on this echo between the adults with ADD and the adults LD> with ADD LD> children but it has been my experience that, if one LD> listens hard LD> enough, we both can learn from each other. My main One of the main things to remember is that we are all alike and all different at the same time. LD> focus was to LD> discover helpful hints. I suggest vey strongly that LD> you ask for LD> the NIMH file to be emailed to you. It is fabulous. What is it? LD> I could email it to you if you don't already have it. LD> My email address LD> is: lawrence.dumas@oln.com You can netmail it to me at 1:123/30.0 Thanks. --- FMail 0.94 * Origin: The Pit... Have You Dropped In Lately ?? (601)393-0512 (1:123/30) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: D5X00000Date: 05/27/96 From: AYESHA WILLIAMS Time: 09:44am \/To: ALL (Read 2 times) Subj: Help! My mother has ADHD, how can I help her? --- T.A.G. 2.7c Standard * Origin: The Wizards Realm BBS 1-713-946-7315 1:106/7315 (1:106/7315) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: D5X00001Date: 05/27/96 From: DAN TRIPLETT Time: 12:04pm \/To: REGINA FINAN (Read 2 times) Subj: Letters To Editor RF> -=> Quoting Dan Triplett to Regina Finan <=- RF> RF> RF> RF> RF>We as parents want to help the teachers out, but for some reason RF> RF>we keep getting SHUT OUT!!! RF> RF> DT> I want what is right for all children. And I want to work with RF> DT> parents to help their child have a successful school RF> DT> experience. However it is important to remember that there are RF> DT> 25 children in a classroom and one chronic disrupter can take RF> DT> away much of the quality of learning. This is a serious RF> DT> problem and in many cases teachers are overwhelmed. The RF> DT> learning environment should not be jeopardized by one individual RF> DT> to the detriment of others. RF> DT> My goal for ALL children is to get them into their peer groups RF> DT> within the classroom and help them find success. This is RF> DT> sometimes a very difficult task. RF> RF> I think we all understand how difficult it can be when the teacher RF>has so many kids and maybe only one or two disrupters. This is why RF>it is important to get them tested and make sure what the problem is RF> before we can begin to solve the problem. Jeremy my 8 year old RF> is a perfectionist (at least he was). He wants to get his work done RF> in the allotted time he has to finish it. I get a note that his RF> handwriting is very sloppy. Well it never use to be. But now he RF> is finding it difficult to do the work and his handwriting is RF> suffering in order for him to complete his work on time. So how do RF>you solve the problem when the school system doesn't want to give RF>him extra help? He feels backed in a corner. Does he slow down or RF>continue the way he is going. And why did the teacher wait so long RF>to want to discuss this with me now? I have left messages to make RF>an appt to discuss any problems and she doesn't want to respond. I RF>told him and her to slow down. I have told her he will be tested RF>fully as soon as I receive the call for the appt. This is all I can RF>do at this point. My 11 year old has some very difficult problems in RF>school. One of his biggest problems is completing work in school RF>and bringing homework home. For example he bigs home his reading RF>book, but forgets his workbook. In the other district he went to a RF>resource room where they were teaching him to finish his work on RF>time and looking for any more major problems. We moved in the middle RF>of the school year. This school district refused to do anything. RF>They said the school district could not lable him LD and they RF>couldn't understand how the other school district could do that. So RF>all he was learning to help with his disabilities were lost. Now I RF>have to get an independent testing done to prove to the school there RF>are problems. We as parents desperately WANT to help the teachers, but RF> like I said we keep getting SHUT OUT. Where is the SOLUTION? RF> RF> RF> RF>Regina RF> RF> RF>--- RF> * Origin: Nite Lite BBS (1:2410/534) You describe a typical problem that parents and teachers face regarding policies between school districts. Some districts are quick to label kids (though I suspect their motives are honest) while other districts resist labeling (and here the motives may be honest as well). Unfortunately, kids are caught up in the middle of the philosophical quagmire regarding labeling and they (the kids) are the only ones who suffer unnecessarily. The State has passed many "guidelines" telling districts what they can and cannot do regarding Special Services. Special Ed funding is tied to a lot of paperwork which must be done according to these "guidelines." If not done properly, funding could be lost. This may seem pointless to parents (and maybe it is) but it is required and schools have no choice but to comply. As for schools responding so slowly to children with special needs, that does seem to be a problem that is the fault of the individual schools only. There is no excuse for some of the problems you describe. A child whose handwriting becomes sloppy because that child is hurried by the teacher in not good teaching practice. There are many ways this problem could be eliminated. For one, teaching to each individual need through learning centers where children could "file" unfinished work in a special place like ongoing projects. Most children like to finish their work once they begin but this is not always possible. With 25 plus students finishing assignments at different times in a given period, one could easily see how difficult that time would be for a teacher. But by allowing children to file their work for later...like we do in the real world....releases some of the anxiety. Too many schools and too many classrooms are run like factories. Assembly line work. Begin here....finish there. Keep up with the rest of the class...don't fall behind. Work fast...but this is an unrealistic approach. Parents must be advocates for their children and get involved in schools. Join the PTA or Booster club and volunteer in the school. Bring a positive attitude with you and, like the proverbial squeaky wheel, Squeak. If you find yourself running into a brick wall, go to the school board, form a parent group. Be proactive....after all, in reality while I may be the professional educator I still work for you and in the end I MUST listen to what you have to say. Hope things work out for you.....and your child.. Dan * CMPQwk #1.42* UNREGISTERED EVALUATION COPY --- GEcho 1.11+ * Origin: The South Bay Forum - Olympia, WA (360) 923-0866 (1:352/256) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: D5X00002Date: 05/27/96 From: JOHN PUMMILL Time: 09:40am \/To: REGINA FINAN (Read 2 times) Subj: Help! RF> I'd like to butt in here if I may. This is not an attack, RF> would like RF> to express my opinion. I use to paddle my kids. This is RF> how I grew RF> up and felt what was good enough for me was good enough for RF> them. I RF> found out that paddling my children, made them more RF> emotionally damaged. RF> They quit doing certain things out of fear instead of doing RF> things because RF> it was unacceptable. Now I am getting some pretty good RF> responses to RF> using a different approach. Okay, we use many different forms of disclipine. If there is violence or something that is non-acceptable social behavior the paddle is used. (it is a last resort and often the only thing that does work) The impression jumped on is that this has been David's main form of disclipine, it has not. I am all for new ideas on what does work with different children, sending him to his room does not work as he continually comes out and we spend the whole disciplinary time sending him back to his room. Time out in chairs does not work as he continually gets up. Time out triggers fits at school because he is singled out in front of the class. If we couple coming out of his room with the thought of a paddling he stays in his room. My idea of punishment is the same as anyone elses. You can look at using fear in many ways (as I explained to Mark). The Bible uses fear to control the masses as if do you not do right you will not go to Heaven. The laws of the country are the measure of fear as if you break them you are punished. (do you not speed because it is not right or because you are scared you will get a ticket) All in your perspective of words, Regina. We do not beat David and I am quite tired of being told that he is abused because he is paddled. --- FMail 0.94 * Origin: The Pit... Have You Dropped In Lately ?? (601)393-0512 (1:123/30) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: D5X00003Date: 05/25/96 From: MARK PROBERT Time: 04:33pm \/To: JOHN PUMMILL (Read 2 times) Subj: Help! JOHN PUMMILL was thinking about Help! and keyed into cyberspace: JP>MP> I guess there is nothing like fear to control a child. JP> Depends on your definition of fear. Fear can be taking a group of JP>children to a prison for a tour (Project Aware, I was a peer JP>counselor on several trips). Do you not speed because you do not want JP>to break the law or because you fear you will get a ticket... Neither. I do not speed because it is unwise to do so in the type of traffic we have around here. JP> Nifty idea, but it is the principle that we are having problems JP>with. I know that all of the paddlings have not made his record. Superintendents tend to cover the butts of principals who have been there a long time. JP> It is learning how to help him... At 30 this is my first real term JP>experience with children and I am learning... You mean he didn't come with an instruction manual? JP> Finiky around here. A few years ago a man had lawsuits against the JP>county because they would not adapt to his handicapped son. A group JP>was formed PEPIM (Parents Educating Parents In Mississippi) and is JP>viewed as a radical group for the most part. Why is considered to be a radical group? And, completely off topic, do you have any idea if there was a verdict in the school prayer case that arose in Ecru, Mississippi. ===>Mark Probert<=== email at MSProbert@aol.com --- * CMPQwk #1.4 * UNREGISTERED EVALUATION COPY * Origin: PC BBS : Massapequa,NY : (516)795-5874 (1:2619/110) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 222 ATTENTION DEF. Ref: D5X00004Date: 05/25/96 From: MARK PROBERT Time: 05:01pm \/To: NANCY MCVICKER (Read 2 times) Subj: In Tears NANCY MCVICKER was thinking about In Tears and keyed into cyberspace: NM> >It is a myth that NM> >drug usage will help moral character. NM>Is it really? And whose myth might that be? There no such notion in NM>*my* belief system. Who do *you* know who believes such a thing? NM>Where might this myth be circulating? Please let us know, so that we NM>can go and have a good laugh. And, is ADHD a defect of moral character? Hardly. Not treating ADHD causes far more problems. ===>Mark Probert<=== email at MSProbert@aol.com --- * CMPQwk #1.4 * UNREGISTERED EVALUATION COPY * Origin: PC BBS : Massapequa,NY : (516)795-5874 (1:2619/110)