--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 104 FUNNY Ref: FA300123 Date: 05/25/98 From: GEORGE POPE Time: 07:57pm \/To: ALL (Read 5 times) Subj: Great to be a GUY! 100 reasons it's great to be a guy - 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Nite Football. 6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. You can open all your own jars. 9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight. 10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind. 11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying. 12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. 13. All your orgasms are real. 14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex. 15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you. 16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go. 17. You understand why stripes is funny. 18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group. 19. Your last name stays put. 20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade. 21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you. 22. You can kill your own food. 23. The garage is all yours. 24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment. 26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. 27. You never have to clean the toilet. 28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes. 29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation. 30. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be you friend. 32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack. 33. The National College Cheerleading Championship 34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry. 35. You don't have to shave below your neck. 36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite. 37. If your 34 and single nobody notices. 38. You can write your name in the snow. 39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest. 40. Everything on your face stays its original color. 41. Chocolate is just another snack. 42. You can be president. 43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat. 44. Flowers fix everything. 45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings. 46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. 47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. 48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough. 49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store. 50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think. 51. Foreplay is optional. 52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe. 53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room. 54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day. 55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by. 56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid. 57. Car mechanic tell you the truth. 58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. 59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me) 60. The world is your urinal. 61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you. 62. You get to jump up and slap stuff. 63. Hot wax never comes near you pubic area. 64. One mood, all the time. 65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. 66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just to skeevy. 67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle. 68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing. 69. Same work....more pay. 70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character. 71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment. 72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back. 74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory. 75. You don't mooch off others' desserts. 76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. 77. The remote is yours and yours alone. 78. People never glance at your chest when your talking to them. 79. ESPN's sports center. 80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift. 81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers. 82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother. 83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked. 84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom. 85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell you friends you've changed. 86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man. 87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!" 88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies. 89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary. 90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. 91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood. 92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny. 93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room. 94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind. 96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries. 97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them. 98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?" 99. Baywatch 100. There is always a game on somewhere. Your servant, <+]::-{)}, "Cyberpope", servant to Y'shua the King! Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca ... nfx v2.8 [C0000] FAITH is daring 2 go farther than you can see. --- EzyQwk V1.48g0 01fa0167 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 104 FUNNY Ref: FA300124 Date: 05/25/98 From: GEORGE POPE Time: 07:58pm \/To: ALL (Read 6 times) Subj: Great to be a GAL!!! 100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Woman! 1. We can get laid anytime we want 2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar 3. We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk 4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying 5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg 6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class 7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret 8. We can marry rich and then not have to work 9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates 10. Men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep with them 11. Men light our cigarettes for us 12. Men hold the door open for us 13. We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!) 14. We're cuter 15. We lie better 16. We're better manipulators 17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves- you guys get the couch 18. We always have food in the fridge 19. We don't worry about losing our hair 20. We always get to choose the movie 21. We dont have to mow the lawn 22. We dont have to take out the garbage 23. we dont have to paint the house or walls 24. PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men 25. Cosmopolitan 26. We can con our way out of anything- not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole 27. Men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold 28. PMS is a legal defense for murder 29. Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever 30. We can masturbate more in a day than men 31. 2 words- multi orgasmic 32. We dont have to constantly adjust our genitals 33. Sweat is sexy on us 34. We never run out of excuses 35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often 36. Doggie style- that way we get to watch the game too 37. We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back 38. We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men fuck up so often 39. We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner 40. Women are cleaner 41. Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt know) 42. We're better arguers 43. We dont always have to think with our genitals 44. Massage!!!! 45. We're better parents 46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night 47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men 48. We're flexible 49. When women get pissed we dont destroy property or hurt people- we just take it out on the world in general because we can 50. Menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after we're 50 51. Menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex 52. Men in uniform 53. There is no penis envy 54. We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy clean-up 55. It generally takes us less to get drunk 56. We have a higher tolerance to pain 57. We often get to cut in line 58. Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DONT 59. Better tips 60. Women who dont wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting 61. We have mastered civilized eating- we dont embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public 62. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting- thank god for long pants and perfume! 63. We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want 64. We dont have excessive amounts of body hair 65. We dont spend 45 minutes on the toilet 66. Men will pay us for sex 67. Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile 68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return 69. Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want 70. Men walk on theside of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us 71. Women sweat less 72. Women smell better 73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we dont have to waste money on flowers or cards- a blowjob and sex fixes all 74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats 75. Women dont get the humor in the three stooges 76. Women have three accessible holes 77. We don't get embarassed when buying tampons 78. We're better gossips 79. We have better fashion sense 80. We're better shoppers 81. We dont have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man 82. Our friends dont pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone 83. Men dont know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you) 84. We're all sittin on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our extreme advantage 85. We dont have to drive when on a date 86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable- ugly men are just fucked 87. Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line 88. Women know how fake it 89. Women look better naked 90. We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing 91. When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short 92. Women do less time for violent crime 93. Women dont have to worry about not being able to get it up 94. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time anynight 95. Womens conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep ok then bye" 96. Women dont need an excuse to be in a bad mood 97. Women never have to see combat 98. The remote control is not an extension of ourselves 99. Women are sexier and the 100th reson its better to be a woman- this one is definitely worthy of reiteration: 100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it! Your servant, <+]::-{)}, "Cyberpope", servant to Y'shua the King! Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca ... nfx v2.8 [C0000] The peace & love of Y'shua the King be with you all! --- EzyQwk V1.48g0 01fa0167 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307) --------------- Next conference: FIDO Message Area Next topic: 105 High Speed Modem FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 105 HIGH SPEED MODEM Ref: E2W00003Date: 02/25/97 From: MIKE FARRILL Time: 06:45pm \/To: DAVID WEI (Read 17 times) Subj: Re: 4400cps on a 33600/3 -> STARE at the "RD" or "SD" light on the modem, depending on if you are -> receving or sending, when the down/up load begins, and one of the -> light starts to go on contious, then start the watch timer... when -> up/down load ends, stop the timer... devide the bytes of the file by -> the seconds that has passed, at least 100KB file will be a good size -> for reliable output. Too bad I have an internal modem :(. --- Platinum Xpress/386/Wildcat! v1.3 * Origin: MADDOG! BBS : (510) 895-8089 : San Leandro, Ca. (1:215/13) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 105 HIGH SPEED MODEM Ref: E2W00004Date: 02/23/97 From: PRATAP DERRICK Time: 10:58am \/To: DAVE LYLE (Read 16 times) Subj: Illegal Transmitions Dave Lyle wrote in a message to Pratap Derrick: DL> I would also like to know what the reason is. I can suggest DL> that possibly it has something to do with crosstalk, or DL> perhaps it has something to do with the amount of current DL> applied or extracted from the line. May also have something DL> to do with maintaining a specific average line current. DL> If anyone knows exactly the reason, I'm sure many of us DL> would be interested. Hmmmmm.... is this an FCC regulation? pratap@juno.com THE SPIRIT BBS (408)336-5532 *The Spirit Is Allways Free* Bay-Area Newsgroups-Jobs-Weather-Politics --- timEd 1.01 * Origin: That's The Spirit BBS (1:216/511) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 105 HIGH SPEED MODEM Ref: E2W00005Date: 02/25/97 From: JOSEPH FERENCHIK Time: 09:32pm \/To: MIKE FARRILL (Read 16 times) Subj: Re: 33600 Upgrade -=> Quoting Mike Farrill to Joseph Ferenchik <=- about 33600 Upgrade on 21 Feb 97 09:57:20. MF> am going to try to attach the 33600 upgrade files for your modem in MF> this message. If it doesn't come through than dial (801) 320-8841. MF> Download the file 4288upgr.exe if you get on that BBS. MF> ps. if they attachment came through ok, read readme.txt inside the MF> zip file. No go on the attach but I called, got in, got it and put it on. Working great. Thanks a million for all the help. I went searching for a list of the files that they have available and couldn't find one. Do you know if they have a filelist online, and the name of it? Thanks again, Joe Ferenchik @FidoNet.org(1:2222/103) ... 1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila, floor ~~~ ReneWave v2.00+ --- BW/RW/RG/GE/FD 2 YOU * Origin: Intercept Vector BBS New Lenox,Il (815)485-9808 (1:2222/103) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 105 HIGH SPEED MODEM Ref: E2X00000Date: 02/12/97 From: DAVID HOSKING Time: 03:20pm \/To: ALL (Read 16 times) Subj: Logicode Modem I have a Logicode 33.6 modem and have my own BBS. I am having problems though setting up a fax thru InterMail. So now I have to put on a fax from 8AM to 5PM which really sux. So could you PLEEZ tell me wot Init strings and answer commands to use. And don't give me crap about the answer string being AT+FAA=1;A| cos that don't fucking work. My BBS is Assassins BBS. Time are from 5PM to 8AM. The numba is (021)531-9691 PLEEZ help. I have FoXlink buit that is all so far. My address is David Hosking (Of course) 111:1021/3 I NEED HELP --- Maximus/2 3.01 * Origin: FutureTec BBS * Stellenbosch * (021) 887 5970 * (5:7102/119) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 105 HIGH SPEED MODEM Ref: E2X00001Date: 02/18/97 From: RICHARD.TOWN@F235.N254.Z2.GRYN.ORG Time: 01:50pm \/To: MONICA JESENSKY (Read 14 times) Subj: 33.6 From: Richard.Town@f235.n254.z2.gryn.org (Richard Town) Newsgroups: trends.fido.hs-modems Subject: 33.6 Organization: Another message via PackLink +44(0)1812972486 -=> Quoting Monica Jesensky to Eugen Woiwod <=- MJ> Qemm .. Desqview .. X00.EXE set as follows : MJ> DEVICE=C:\UTILS\X00.SYS E B,0,38400 0=03F8,IRQ4 F=15 T=1024 R=1024 DV Try R=2048 MJ> Front Door v2.11. Try v2.12 rgdZ Richard --- * Origin: Another message via PackLink +44(0)1812972486 (1:12/98.1) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 105 HIGH SPEED MODEM Ref: E2X00002Date: 02/18/97 From: RICHARD.TOWN@F235.N254.Z2.GRYN.ORG Time: 04:47pm \/To: DISEN ABELLA (Read 16 times) Subj: RPI/WinRPI modems From: Richard.Town@f235.n254.z2.gryn.org (Richard Town) Newsgroups: trends.fido.hs-modems Subject: RPI/WinRPI modems Organization: Another message via PackLink +44(0)1812972486 -=> Quoting Disen Abella to All <=- DA> I've seen some modems which mention RPI or WinRPI. DA> What advantages do these modems offer? RPI (the old style) or RPI+ stands for Rockwell Protocol Interface. These modems will only work with the supplied terminal program (often COMit for DOS) or with written for Windows comms programs in Windows. Telix for Windows, QModem Pro when registered, etc The RPI+ does the error correction and data compression in your software using your computer's CPU. For Windows operation you would use a special driver collectively known as a WinRPI driver. There are several of these for Win3.1, 3.11, WfWG3.11, and Win'95 DA> Seem to be something to do DA> with running better under Windows? They are a bit faster than standard modems because they use the virtual comport that is made by the WinRPI program which interfaces directly with Window's comms routines. For text transfers they can be much faster since they're not restricted to the 115k2 port speed because there's no "port" (just a virtualised one) Latest V34Plus Zooms offer both standard hardware error correction and datacompression, and RPI+ methods, controlled by init string, all at V34 speeds For an RPI+ only modem use +H0 at the end of init if you have to operate one from DOS or in a DOS box. It won't give you EC/DC but at least it will work. Most RPI modems found around tho are 14k4 max rgdZ Richard --- * Origin: Another message via PackLink +44(0)1812972486 (1:12/98.1) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 105 HIGH SPEED MODEM Ref: E2X00003Date: 02/18/97 From: RICHARD.TOWN@F235.N254.Z2.GRYN.ORG Time: 11:25am \/To: CRAIG FORD (Read 14 times) Subj: HELP PLEASE From: Richard.Town@f235.n254.z2.gryn.org (Richard Town) Newsgroups: trends.fido.hs-modems Subject: HELP PLEASE Organization: Another message via PackLink +44(0)1812972486 -=> Quoting Craig Ford to Richard Town <=- RT> USR's WinModem and all other controller-less modems wont work in RT> DOS at all as you said CF> Only true of the WinModem.... there are several controllerless modems CF> that function across multiple OS platforms. What controller-less modem, apart from RPI/RPI+ will work from a DOS command line terminal program without some special licence-only software? Don't think UMCs will (please correct if wrong) and certainly not MWave rgdZ Richard --- * Origin: Another message via PackLink +44(0)1812972486 (1:12/98.1) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 105 HIGH SPEED MODEM Ref: E2X00004Date: 02/18/97 From: RICHARD.TOWN@F235.N254.Z2.GRYN.ORG Time: 11:25am \/To: DANIEL DIAZ (Read 16 times) Subj: Multitech II modem 14.4K From: Richard.Town@f235.n254.z2.gryn.org (Richard Town) Newsgroups: trends.fido.hs-modems Subject: Multitech II modem 14.4K Organization: Another message via PackLink +44(0)1812972486 -=> Quoting Daniel Diaz to Richard Town <=- DD> but i use a 14k4 Modem, is a Multitech II ext., and 16550A Chips, on a DD> Multitech Systems, Multimodem II Model number is: MT1432BL OK Havn't got anything for the MN1432BL but: MT1432 is AT&F&C1&D2&RF1X4S7=60S11=55S0=0 for MNP4 AT&F&C1&D2&RF1X4S7=60S11=55S0=0#L1&E14 for MNP5 AT&F&C1&D2&RF1X4S7=60S11=55S0=0#L1 for "V42" AT&F&C1&D2&RF1X4S7=60S11=55S0=0&E14 then the listing goes on to mention Multitech MT1432 "series" suggesting: AT&F&Q1X4&D2S0=0$BA0 Hope that helps. Let us know how you get on? rgdZ Richard --- * Origin: Another message via PackLink +44(0)1812972486 (1:12/98.1)