--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 104 FUNNY Ref: F5G00527 Date: 04/25/98 From: GEORGE POPE Time: 09:01pm \/To: GREG SEARS (Read 5 times) Subj: Rules GS> Greg's Drinking Law: You can't fall off the floor. You've obviously never drank in Mission! (my home town!) GS> Greg's Probability Dispersal Law: Whatever it is that hits the fan GS> it will not be evenly distributed. I think that depends on how many RPM the fan is first cranked up to... Your servant, <+]::-), "Cyberpope", servant to Y'shua the King! Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca ... nfx v2.8 [C0000] FAITH is daring 2 go farther than you can see. --- EzyQwk V1.48g0 01fa0167 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 104 FUNNY Ref: F5G00528 Date: 04/25/98 From: GEORGE POPE Time: 09:04pm \/To: BEN O'SULLIVAN (Read 5 times) Subj: Re: a quiz 0 BO> Have you heard all those jokes about New Zealand? There are no JOKES about NZ (they're all TRUE!!!!) Your servant, <+]::-), "Cyberpope", servant to Y'shua the King! Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca Don't take me too seriously -- if I had any beef with Kiwiland, I certainly wouldn't be in the middle of ascertaining my likelihood of emigrating to there... ... nfx v2.8 [C0000] The peace & love of Y'shua the King be with you all! --- EzyQwk V1.48g0 01fa0167 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 104 FUNNY Ref: F5G00529 Date: 04/27/98 From: HEATHER LENNOX Time: 07:52pm \/To: DENIS BURKE (Read 5 times) Subj: Rules Hello Cheeky.... It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his, and what was he going to do about it? Finally, he capitulated. He promised to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. He had been ticking the years off on his calendar and one day, the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came in to the shop and said: "I'll be sixteen tomorrow." "I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, and tell your mother when you take this parcel of meat home that it is the last free meat she will get, and watch the expression on her face." When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk and free groceries for the past 16 years and watch the expression on his face!" ... "Lick my boot, you worm!" -- Eating Raoul --- Xenolink 1.984, XQwk 1.6 [REG 10054] * Origin: Amiga Auckland, 64-9-528-5872 (3:772/235) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 104 FUNNY Ref: F5G00530 Date: 04/27/98 From: HEATHER LENNOX Time: 07:52pm \/To: GREG SEARS (Read 5 times) Subj: Cheek! Guten Tag! A baby Camel said to its mother one day: "Why do I have such long eyelashes?" "Because they shield your eyes in desert dust storms." "And why," said the little Camel, "do I have such big feet?" "That's so you won't sink down in the sand." "And why do I have a hump on my back?" "That's so you can carry a large quantity of water so you can survive for a month in the desert." "Well Mummy, what the bloody hell am I doing in the zoo?" Sincerely Yours, ... Alien sex, carnivore love, whatever. All a matter of taste, eh? --- Xenolink 1.984, XQwk 1.6 [REG 10054] * Origin: Amiga Auckland, 64-9-528-5872 (3:772/235) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 104 FUNNY Ref: F5G00531 Date: 04/27/98 From: HEATHER LENNOX Time: 07:52pm \/To: GREG SEARS (Read 5 times) Subj: Limerick Guten Tag! Achmed the Camel driver had piles of gold, which are just as uncomfortable as any other kind. Piles are an occupational hazard for Camel drivers and it was folk-lore tradition to treat the complaint by shoving a handful of cold tea leaves up where the sun don't shine. Achmed did this ritual night and morning, but to no avail. So when the Camel train eventually reached Cairo he took the opportunity to see an English doctor. Dropping his drawers he bent over while the doctor spread his cheeks apart and began to mutter to himself: "Hmm, yes, hmmm." "Something wrong?" asked Achmed. "No, quite the contrary," said the doc, "You are going to take a long trip...you will meet a tall, dark romantic stranger..." Yours sincerely, ... "Bother!" said Pooh as his toilet backfired while he was sitting on it --- Xenolink 1.984, XQwk 1.6 [REG 10054] * Origin: Amiga Auckland, 64-9-528-5872 (3:772/235) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 104 FUNNY Ref: F5G00532 Date: 04/27/98 From: HEATHER LENNOX Time: 07:52pm \/To: GREG SEARS (Read 5 times) Subj: 8-P While Greg Sears was eating baked beans, Heather Lennox put on a gas mask and said 8-P GS> No sorry this mirror shows a c o o l bloke! Of course it will. You've got one of those fairground distorting mirrors. GS> OBJoke: Greg Sears In the serene atmosphere of the club's reading room one gent leaned over to the other and whispered: "I say, old boy, did you hear Ponsonby has been drummed out of the Royal Hussars in India?" "Indeed I did not," replied his companion. "What for, ol' man?" "Rooting Camels I believe," said the first. The second pondered over this for a while, then leaned over, tapped his friend on the shoulder and asked: "Male or female Camels?" "Females of course. There's nothing queer about Ponsonby." Tatty-bye now! ... Greg Sears has bubbles in his think tank. --- Xenolink 1.984, XQwk 1.6 [REG 10054] * Origin: Amiga Auckland, 64-9-528-5872 (3:772/235) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 104 FUNNY Ref: F5G00533 Date: 04/27/98 From: HEATHER LENNOX Time: 07:52pm \/To: GREG SEARS (Read 5 times) Subj: Joke. While Heather Lennox was stuffing herself with chocolate, she said Joke. An old Arabian classic: The sexual urge of a Camel Is stronger than anyone thinks He's lived for years on the desert And tried to seduce the Sphinx But the Sphinx's centre of pleasure Lies buried deep in the Nile Which accounts for the hump on the Camel And the Sphinx's inscrutable smile. Tatty-bye now! ... Disk Error on C: - (A)bort, (R)etry, (D)estruct --- Xenolink 1.984, XQwk 1.6 [REG 10054] * Origin: Amiga Auckland, 64-9-528-5872 (3:772/235) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 104 FUNNY Ref: F5G00534 Date: 04/27/98 From: HEATHER LENNOX Time: 07:52pm \/To: GREG SEARS (Read 5 times) Subj: Rules Hello chubby-chops! What's the difference between a sheep and a Honda? You don't mind being seen getting out of the back of a Honda. Gan canny noo! ... Roswell Autopsy Film Credits: Alien organs courtesy of Owens Sausage. --- Xenolink 1.984, XQwk 1.6 [REG 10054] * Origin: Amiga Auckland, 64-9-528-5872 (3:772/235) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 104 FUNNY Ref: F5G00535 Date: 04/27/98 From: HEATHER LENNOX Time: 07:52pm \/To: GREG SEARS (Read 5 times) Subj: Rules Greetings Earthling Outside the pub two Volkswagen beetles had their bumpers locked together and the owners were having difficulty disengaging them. A drunk took stock of the situation and said: "Throw a bucket of water over them." Tatta ducky! ... Dynamic Linking Error: Your mistake is now in every file. --- Xenolink 1.984, XQwk 1.6 [REG 10054] * Origin: Amiga Auckland, 64-9-528-5872 (3:772/235) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 104 FUNNY Ref: F5G00536 Date: 04/27/98 From: HEATHER LENNOX Time: 07:52pm \/To: GARRY SIMMONDS (Read 5 times) Subj: Mad Cow Greetings Earthling He stumbled into the bar and after several drinks confided to his mate. "The next time I give her the ultimatum 'Screw or Walk' I must remember to be in my own car and not hers." Tatta ducky! ... I got these nude pictures of the moderat!@#$*$ NO CARRIER --- Xenolink 1.984, XQwk 1.6 [REG 10054] * Origin: Amiga Auckland, 64-9-528-5872 (3:772/235)