--------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 115 RUSH LIMBAUGH Ref: F4B00017 Date: 04/05/98 From: ROBERT CRAFT Time: 10:17am \/To: TOM ENRIGHT (Read 0 times) Subj: [1/2] [1/2] Da Rules >>> Part 1 of 2... -=> On 03-27-98 09:13, Tom Enright did testify and affirm <=- -=> to Janada Oakley concerning [1/2] Da Rules <=- TE> RULES IN THE SOUTH TE> 1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed TE> later how to use it. It's cheaper than expensive body oils. TE> 2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) TE> as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right. And a 67% chance of encountering a non-random beer bottle. TE> 3. Just because you can['t] drive on snow and ice does not TE> mean we can stay home the two days of the year it snows. They only stay home after buying all milk, bread and eggs in a 50 mile radius. TE> 4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four TE> men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer TE> and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help TE> them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live TE> for. "Deliverance" on ice. Right. TE> 5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the TE> same store. You've never used "Love Story" as bait? It's cheaper than candy or liquor. TE> 6. Do not buy food at the movie store. Only offered north of the Mason-Dixon Line. TE> 7. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth TE> cooking, let alone eating. See #1. TE> 8. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. TE> "All y'all's" is plural possessive. And my "y'all" has a distinctive fore and aft rig. TE> 9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a TE> southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a TE> Boston accent. Or an Okie pretending to be a Texan. TE> 10. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are TE> you?" It's "heah", not "here". TE> 11. People walk slower here. It's not necessary to outrun muggers down here. TE> 12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They TE> don't understand you either. But there's more of them than there are of you. TE> 13. The first Southern expression to creep into a TE> transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big TE> ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five TE> percent begin their new Southern influenced dialect with TE> this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about TE> it. Nah. The progression is "how-do-you-do" -> "howdy" -> "hidee". TE> 14. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no TE> longer proper. Sure it is... as long as you don't mind being shot at as a carpetbagger. TE> 15. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid TE> here. As long as stuffs the corpse into the attached carpetbag, yes. TE> 16. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay TE> until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is TE> torn down. Well, that's obvious. After all, the front-end loader driver can't give you a lift until he finishes. TE> 17. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch TE> this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words TE> he will ever say. Particularly if chainsaws, bass boats or guns are involved. TE> 18. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they TE> ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking TE> on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest TE> assured that it was on when the car was purchased. ::sigh:: Another Northern misconception. When driving in the left lane, the left blinker is left on and the right blinker is left on while driving in the right line. Why? That's because the blinkers aren't turn signals - they're possum warning devices. TE> 19. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside TE> of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other TE> drivers. Wait 'til you come over a hill at 65mp [in a 65mph zone] to find the lane blocked by traffic at a standstill, showing respect for an oncoming funeral procession. TE> 20. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September TE> can wait until November. >>> Continued to next message... ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 --- Platinum Xpress/Win/Wildcat5! v2.0 * Origin: The NeverEnding BBS/Deltona,FL/407-860-7720/bbs.never (1:3618/555) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 115 RUSH LIMBAUGH Ref: F4B00018 Date: 04/03/98 From: ROBERT CRAFT Time: 07:01am \/To: TOM ENRIGHT (Read 0 times) Subj: [2/2] [1/2] Da Rules >>> Part 2 of 2... January-February only. TE> 22. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of TE> even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence TE> is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter TE> if you need anything from the store, it is just something TE> you're supposed to do. There's always the risk you're be snowed in for 2 weeks. It's best to stock up. TE> 23. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When TE> you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front TE> of your trailer. This is logical bearing in mind that the TE> dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, TE> therefore, be displayed. TE> 24. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have TE> a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going TE> to lose a trailer. Tornadoes go thru divorces? ... Bill Clinton's going to save the economy... from what? ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 --- Platinum Xpress/Win/Wildcat5! v2.0 * Origin: The NeverEnding BBS/Deltona,FL/407-860-7720/bbs.never (1:3618/555) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 115 RUSH LIMBAUGH Ref: F4B00019 Date: 04/03/98 From: ROBERT CRAFT Time: 10:55am \/To: STEVE FRAGNER (Read 0 times) Subj: life -=> On 03-23-98 22:08, Steve Fragner did testify and affirm <=- -=> to Robert Plett concerning life <=- SF> When you are ready to engage in "intellectual" conversation And the quotes are for what purpose? To illustrate the words new to your vocabulary? SF> I am ready, willing and able. Not according to the samples you've provided to date. SF> So far I have seen nothing but double talk(oh what a SF> surprise)....... Try reading some messages other than the ones which you post. ... Liberalism is the opiate of the morally bankrupt. ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 --- Platinum Xpress/Win/Wildcat5! v2.0 * Origin: The NeverEnding BBS/Deltona,FL/407-860-7720/bbs.never (1:3618/555) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 115 RUSH LIMBAUGH Ref: F4B00020 Date: 04/03/98 From: ROBERT CRAFT Time: 11:03am \/To: JEAN HALVERSON (Read 0 times) Subj: Cali, Mexico, & illegals -=> On 03-17-98 13:39, Jean Halverson did testify and affirm <=- -=> to John Sampson concerning Cali, Mexico, & illegals <=- -=> Quoting John Sampson to Jean Halverson <=- [...snip...] JH> That is just the problem. Each country should not carry its JH> own quota. There should be an overall quota. Do you JH> honestly believe that x amount of people will _ever_ JH> immigrate from Sweden or Norway? Sure - the most obvious ones are the au pairs, but many young Europeans are fleeing Socialist levels of taxation which approach rates of 75-80%. ... Money is the sincerest of all flattery. L. Long ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 --- Platinum Xpress/Win/Wildcat5! v2.0 * Origin: The NeverEnding BBS/Deltona,FL/407-860-7720/bbs.never (1:3618/555) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 115 RUSH LIMBAUGH Ref: F4B00021 Date: 04/03/98 From: ROBERT CRAFT Time: 11:12am \/To: STEVE FRAGNER (Read 0 times) Subj: life -=> On 03-06-98 21:58, Steve Fragner did testify and affirm <=- -=> to All concerning life <=- SF> Let us all live life as we preach it! You're having an abortion tomorrow? ... Standard Drive-by Equipment: 300 baud brain, 19.2k baud mouth. ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 --- Platinum Xpress/Win/Wildcat5! v2.0 * Origin: The NeverEnding BBS/Deltona,FL/407-860-7720/bbs.never (1:3618/555) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 115 RUSH LIMBAUGH Ref: F4B00022 Date: 04/05/98 From: ROBERT CRAFT Time: 08:13am \/To: JANADA OAKLEY (Read 0 times) Subj: Information HIGHWAY -=> On 04-03-98 00:04, Janada Oakley did testify and affirm <=- -=> to Walt Young concerning Information HIGHWAY <=- WY> Have you heard the latest charge against Clinton? WY> Assault with a lively weapon!! WY> (uh oh...exit stage left!) (snicker) JO> What, no drum roll?! JO> Well, I dunno how lively it is, although it does sound like JO> it has a life and/or mind of its own. I dunno... how effective is a bent crank, anyway? ... Morals for sale -- never used. Call Bill Clinton for info. ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 --- Platinum Xpress/Win/Wildcat5! v2.0 * Origin: The NeverEnding BBS/Deltona,FL/407-860-7720/bbs.never (1:3618/555) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 115 RUSH LIMBAUGH Ref: F4B00023 Date: 04/05/98 From: ROBERT CRAFT Time: 10:20am \/To: JOHN SAMPSON (Read 0 times) Subj: How Conveeeeenient! -=> On 04-02-98 20:39, John Sampson did testify and affirm <=- -=> to Janada Oakley concerning How Conveeeeenient! <=- JS> There are those, Jeff Duke among them, who are saying that JS> there have been far too many coincidences regarding FOBs JS> dying. That statistically it's almost impossible for that JS> many people who knew Clinton, have been involved in JS> questionable dealings or have intimate knowledge of his JS> operations, to die "accidentally" or naturally. JS> I tend to agree with that premise. However, proving some JS> nefarious intent is a heck of a job. More and more courts are beginning to use probablilty and statistics in their prosecution. It began with the validation of DNA as a unique identifier. The court approval of statistics and probabilty in that area has encouraged it's application in other areas. JS> Look at how much trouble Ken Starr is having with pinning JS> the Unagroper down. Ken Starr has something up his sleeve. Even granting his professional demeanor, he's still too placid and unruffled in response to the bashing by th media and under fire from a pejured White Hous - he's got to be holding out an ace. ... Dead or Alive, Big or Small, Liberals tax them all! ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 --- Platinum Xpress/Win/Wildcat5! v2.0 * Origin: The NeverEnding BBS/Deltona,FL/407-860-7720/bbs.never (1:3618/555) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 115 RUSH LIMBAUGH Ref: F4B00024 Date: 04/05/98 From: ROBERT CRAFT Time: 08:30am \/To: JOHN SAMPSON (Read 0 times) Subj: life -=> On 04-02-98 20:49, John Sampson did testify and affirm <=- -=> to Steve Fragner concerning life <=- SF> If Clinton committed perjury than charge him. Since when SF> does it cost $13,000,000 to decide if a crime was SF> committed? JS> A. If memory serves me correctly, and it does, Lawrence JS> Walsh, late of Ken Starr bashing fame, spent in excess of JS> $100 million in Iran Contra and didn't get diddly for all JS> of his efforts. The most memorable event was when he JS> indicted Cap Weinberger four days before the 92 election JS> only to have the indictment thrown out for insufficiency. The indictment was thrown out because the statute of limitations was long past - something that was know by Walsh and crew. IOW, Walsh fraudulently manipulated a national election. JS> And Mr. Walsh has the huevos to claim that Judge Starr's JS> investigation is partisan? There's a word for this and JS> similar behavior. It's Hypocrisy. And LIbEralS are very JS> adept at hypocrisy. Recall also that Walsh pursued every lost conviction thru the entire appellate process, impoverishing those the jury and the Supreme Court found innocent. OTOH, Starr has obtained convictions in 12 of 13 verdicts to date and chose to abide by the jury's decision in each case. ... One man's magic is another man's engineering. - L. Long ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 --- Platinum Xpress/Win/Wildcat5! v2.0 * Origin: The NeverEnding BBS/Deltona,FL/407-860-7720/bbs.never (1:3618/555) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 115 RUSH LIMBAUGH Ref: F4B00025 Date: 04/05/98 From: ROBERT CRAFT Time: 08:51am \/To: JOHN SAMPSON (Read 0 times) Subj: A new theory -=> On 03-07-98 12:20, John Sampson did testify and affirm <=- -=> to Robert Craft concerning A new theory <=- RC> I find it preferable for a Bill of Impeachment to be RC> written on the basis of a Grand Jury Indictment naming RC> specific statutory violations rather than an ad hoc Bill of RC> Impeachment being generated by a political committee. Using RC> an indictment makes the Impeachment appear more an RC> instrument of justice as opposed to a political weapon. JS> Yep. That certainly makes sense. It could be the thing JS> needed to get the votes needed to vote for conviction in JS> the Senate. Now, who would be the INDICTED co-conspirators? From the White House circle? Margaret Williams, the First Frump's Chief of Staff. Joel what's-his-name who said his diary lied. Vernon Jordan. Possibly the First Frump. ... The sad thing about Clinton bashing is that it's all *true*. ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 --- Platinum Xpress/Win/Wildcat5! v2.0 * Origin: The NeverEnding BBS/Deltona,FL/407-860-7720/bbs.never (1:3618/555) --------------- FIDO MESSAGE AREA==> TOPIC: 115 RUSH LIMBAUGH Ref: F4B00026 Date: 04/05/98 From: ROBERT CRAFT Time: 08:55am \/To: JOHN SAMPSON (Read 0 times) Subj: A new theory -=> On 03-07-98 12:18, John Sampson did testify and affirm <=- -=> to Robert Craft concerning A new theory <=- RC> Hillarity will never take a position in which she's RC> responsible to an electorate. She's the spider concealed in RC> the web, pulling the strings of power from concealment. The RC> most public position she'd take would be a near-autonomous RC> appointed positon... such as "Supreme Court Justice". JS> A. Hillarity is anything BUT funny. Hitlary might be a JS> better moniker to put on La Primera Mujer. I don't find a JS> single thing she says or believes to be hillarious. Oh? Consider for a minute applying all the restricitions to her and the Dufus that she recommended be applied to Richard Nixon: no attorney, etc. JS> B. I agree, to a point, that she is the spiderwoman pulling JS> the strings. However, I believe she believes her own press JS> and her own "legacy" is still to be made. What better way JS> than to be the first female President in the history of the JS> Republic? Besides, if Billy Bob got indicted and convicted, JS> she could pardon him. If *you* were the Dufus, would *you* trust the First Frump to pardon you? Think Monica Lewinsky, then answer. ... Spock: Liberalism is not logical. ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20 --- Platinum Xpress/Win/Wildcat5! v2.0 * Origin: The NeverEnding BBS/Deltona,FL/407-860-7720/bbs.never (1:3618/555)